I Don't Understand How My Needs Work

[Elephant]

I don't understand what I really need in life. The pyramid of needs is of course relevant.

I never understand what the fuck I should do.

IF I'm bad in school, SHOULD I get better?

IF I'm bad with relationships, SHOULD I get better? 

IF I'm fat and overweight, SHOULD I get better?

The answer is of course yes, but since they really don't bring fulfillment how serious should them be taken? 

Even if material and external thing in general don't bring fulfillment, it must be more fulfilling pursuing all these things than just be an half lazy in general not that happy person?

I mean of course you should your basic human needs, but I still don't get it. 

 

[Bob84]

Maslows pyramid says what you need. If you are missing something you compensate. And become neurotic. 

You are stuck with it unless you transend.

[Pav]

You don't need anything. There is nothing that you SHOULD do. Needs are a neurosis created by your own mind.

There has never been any evidence to suggest that there is anything serious in life. You are playing games. You largely have a choice to what games you partake in, and some games will bring you more enjoyment and fulfilment than others.

There is a lot of fulfilment in having a healthy body. There is a great deal of fulfilment in healthy relationships, particularly when nothing is needed from them and you love and admire them for nothing other than there intrinsic being. I can't see much satisfaction being had from good grades in school besides a short-lived hit of stimulation from temporarily satiating the neurotic need. Though there is certainly immense fulfilment in learning about and understanding the world and our place in it; worth dedicating a life time to.

Whether you are able to find fulfilment in these areas will depend entirely on your level of psychological health. The ability to find fulfilment in life is largely influence by your internal situation rather than the external. 

[Elephant]

@Mat Pav  yes, enjoying  anything require mindfulness. But doing and accomplishing these things is a singn of raised awareness.

[Arman]

9 hours ago, Elephant said:

Even if material and external thing in general don't bring fulfillment, it must be more fulfilling pursuing all these things than just be an half lazy in general not that happy person?

I like your questions. I think you're on the precipice of understanding. I really like Leo's video on confusion and embracing it and letting it do its thing.

In my experience, it is an intense paradox. It's true that these pursuits don't bring fulfillment inherently, but rather, it seems the case that they (meaning the pursuits, actions, material circumstances, paths etc) will facilitate and mirror fulfillment as a spontaneous emanation of inherent fulfilled Being. That is to say, if you know you are already fulfilled regardless of material circumstances, then you will gravitate and align with fulfilling circumstances.

Alternatively, if you believe that you need material circumstances to fulfill you, then you will align with experiences that reinforce the sense that you need something to make you feel better. Ironically this leaves you never feeling fulfilled. This is an endless loop. 

Therefore, the practical application of this understanding (as I present it, anyway) can be seen in two ways. They may seem contradictory but that's paradox for you

1. Look at your basic fundamental assumption; that you need to do anything in order to be fulfilled, aka, 'I am not enough, I am lack, and I must take action in order to relieve this lack' -- and then simply choose to believe otherwise. That you are fulfilled as is. Repeat and instill this belief until you know that no actions are necessary. 

2. Take actions anyway. In the face of your discomfort, fear and confusion, act anyway! Act in the knowing that you are already fulfilled, but explorations of the material world, experiences, different paths etc is what Fulfillment or Being wants and does. It is simply its nature. 

Do both, burn the candle at both ends and over time (after all, just understanding these concepts intellectually or having a few moments of energetic clarity about the matter won't dissolve your discomfort and confusion in one go) you'll start to grock it and things become more effortless and less strained.