To my lover

[Preety_India]

I hope you see this when you wake up. Love you my honey. 

 

[Preety_India]

10 hours ago, RickyFitts said:

It's a beautiful thing, dear Preety

Thank you Daniel. 

 

[RickyFitts]

11 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Thank you Daniel. 

 

You're welcome, darl  

[Preety_India]

OK I have finally decided to cut down my socialization on the forum since it has been a bit difficult for me for the past few weeks.

Although I still like to talk to people that I get along with really well, I want to keep a limited number of people that I'll choose to talk to, especially people that I really get along with.. 

This is to reduce my attention that I give, since giving attention to so many people is impossible. 

I decided to choose a few people I'll limit my attention to.. 

So these are the people that I'll be able to give attention to long term and consistently and I will be able to have meaningful conversations with them as they get along with me the most. 

I have decided to galvanize my attention to these people. 

@lxlichael

@MuadDib

@RickyFitts/Daniel 

@lastthursday

@esilda

@gianna

@marcel

@Hulia

 

Thanks 

 

 

Edited August 30, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Wow I listened to this song for 1 hour, I just can't believe it. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

12 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

 

Omg these pictures perfectly describe his facial vibes.

He is so calm when he looks at me. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is how he will look at me when I'm angry. 

 

 

 

 

I don't know what to say. It feels other worldly. I feel like I'm in a different kind of heaven, a romantic heaven. When I'm with him. It's like suddenly my life has a new meaning. 

I feel very pleasant and warmed when I talk to him. I become very happy and my happiness grows inch by inch the more I think about him. 

 

A million years of happiness won't compare to a moment with him. 

He is my fantasy hero come to life. 

He brings a heavenly smile to my face. He wipes away every fear, doubt, worry, anger, restlessness from my face. 

I suddenly feel calm and flowing and at peace when I'm with him. He takes my breath away. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I like to surprise him sometimes. 

A big part of me is this unpredictability. 

*run run he came.

 

[Preety_India]

 

Good morning my love 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Writing it here 

 

 

I heard the first song i posted earlier only yesterday for the first time.

But it sucked me right back into the past. 

When i was sitting in front of my computer all day, my mom coming in from time to time and telling me she would kill her self and threatening that she would jump infront of a train.

I don´t know what it is about this song that resonates with me so much.

Maybe is is the artist C-Mob on the first song that triggered all of these memories.

My mind running through my schedule in my teen years

3 am getting woken up by my mom with a friendly "I will kill myself today"

7 am getting out of bed after breaking my mind for 4 hours how i would get through this day again.

7:45 am school starts, im always there on 7:43 on time, because i don´t want to stand around in front of the classroom for too long.

1 pm, the typical school day ends and i walk to my grandparents house to eat lunch

1:30 pm I arrive, i eat lunch with my grandparents, like always my grandpa has to start a toxic argument, even when im there

2:30 pm I get home, my mom stands in the door way and i can see that she cried again and says "im still here" as per usual, that is what she did if she was not laying on the couch and watching TV.

3pm i set myself in front of my Pc, play video games listen to music, do my homework 

11pm I go to sleep

 

Rinse and repeat that was my day and the first song i posted fully got me back in to the way i felt back then.

Just hoping that i can make it through this hell.

Well im here now. So i guess i made it after all.