Sitting at the crossroads

[Gianna]

If it's starting to bother you that's when you know you need to make a change. If it is not driving you insane then you are still benefitting from it. Maybe what you are benefitting from is letting yourself experience it more and more and more until you break. Until the point where you are so sick of it, you want the change. That's when change becomes easy; when taking action becomes easy. You'll do anything to make it stop. The fear then becomes of not changing. But at this point you become neurotic and impulsive. So how do we know that we need a change before reaching neurosis? Well, awareness is the short answer. Realizing that everything is already as it was meant to be is the long one. But for now– and in the moment of panic– take a breath and realize that if it weren't for everything that was you wouldn't be facing what is. And isn't what you're facing wonderful? You made it to the crossroads where you can see everything. The brink before change is the place where you perceive both sides, all sides. Isn't this enlightening? It's where you are meant to be but it's not where you are meant to stay. You are meant to move and find yourself at your next intersection. 

 

At the point of intersection, you see all roads, all sides, all diversities. What a beautiful place to be. But you are not meant to stay at this crossroads. You are meant to be brave enough to choose and go down the road that will give you the most growth, the most understanding, the most expansion despite your fears. Do you want to take the red pill or the blue pill? Do you want to take the scenic route or the quick and bland one? If any choice at all defeats you, just know that there will always be another intersection for you to sit at. There is always more for you to see. There is always more for you to choose between. There is always choice itself. You’re never stuck unless you stay at your crossroads. But even then, the universe will push you forward by turning up the heat. You’ll start to get uncomfortable in this heat and move because you have to. “How do you want to do this?” the universe will ask you. Do you want to live willfully or neurotically? Either way is fine. If you choose to rely on the universe to push you to where you need to go (if you choose to live neurotically) it is only because you don’t trust yourself. You don’t trust that you’ll make the right decision. You don’t trust that you know what you need because you don’t even know what it is you truly want. You turn to the universe for guidance but in doing so you give away your authority. Which is fine because you are ultimately giving it away to yourself. But why not take on this authority primarily instead of secondarily? Because then things will happen a lot quicker. Instantaneously in fact. So what are you afraid of? Are you afraid of success or failure? Either way, this fear is what is holding you back from choosing. Do you even know what you are choosing between? You are choosing between autonomy and connection. Do you want to take control over your life or do you want to be receptive of it, reflective of it? Both are what you want and need. It’s the difference between masculine and feminine orientation. Both are necessary. And both will lead you to the same place– Love, Insight, Creation of Life. 

 

You see, you are always creating your life whether you want to be or not. Whether you feel like it or not. Whether you are aware of it or not. This is because life doesn’t stop and it never could. Life is beyond time. It is what is happening RIGHT NOW; why are you afraid of it? It's already what is.  Rest in the fact that no matter what you do, you will always have choice because you will always have change. And so if you always have change you can always change your mind and no one can take this away from you. So don’t worry about what you are choosing. If you feel like you have made the “wrong choice” you can always switch directions. But don’t you see? There is no direction because life is beyond space. No experience is wrong because they all lead to the same thing, You. They all lead to deeper understanding of you, deeper love of you, deeper connection with you. Look back on your life right now and realize that this has always been the case. No matter what, experience has always expanded your awareness and your awareness is what fills you with so much love and gratitude. The people you’ve met, the moments you’ve had, the growth and realizations you’ve had that gave you connection with so many people– because you can relate. Relating is understanding and understanding is Love. And Love only comes through experience which only comes through choice! So what are you going to choose? The answer needs to be choice itself. And bravery. The answer needs to be, “Fuck it, we’re doing it!”