Compliments: beneficial or detrimental?

[Brandon Nankivell]

I've found compliments and non-constructive criticism affecting me less in the last 12 months.

When somebody gives me a compliment, I politely acknowledge it but it doesn't have much value as it used to since some awakening experiences.

Hearing compliments however still has a slight pull that I don't feel is beneficial to consciousness development.

I'm part of a Men's self-improvement group and an activity is to give another man a compliment.

I have a sense that the compliment sharing isn't benefiting other men in their conscious development, nor mine.

Perhaps harmful, further pumping up the ego.

However, even if I don't see much value in it myself, perhaps giving a genuine compiment may be what helps another man in a tough situation to keep moving forward during a time of depression/anxiety and ultimately serves as a leap-pad into motion where the consciousness work can then be focused on.

In this situation, are compliments beneficial or detrimental to the group, assuming the goal is for everybody to become more conscious?

[gettoefl]

compliments and criticisms are for the benefit of the giver

the receiver is best unmoved since the original action was also purely for his/her benefit

acknowledge the giver politely but don't get involved in absorbing their projections ...

Edited August 25, 2021 by gettoefl

[impulse9]

 

[The0Self]

Great question! It's simple:

If someone you want to live like or end up like gives you a compliment, great -- that's fine; neither bad nor good. If someone you don't want to live like or end up like gives you a compliment, run  -- it is detrimental to succumb to the ego boost associated with those particular compliments! To answer your question. 

Edited August 25, 2021 by The0Self

[gettoefl]

2 minutes ago, The0Self said:

Great question! It's simple:

If someone you want to live like or end up like gives you a compliment, great! If someone you don't want to live like or end up like gives you a compliment, run  -- it is detrimental to succumb to the ego boost associated with those particular compliments! To answer your question. 

run, in all cases ... what another thinks about me is none of my business

[The0Self]

10 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

run, in all cases ... what another thinks about me is none of my business

Yeah... By "great," what I really mean is basically "whatever; no problem"  -- was just highlighting the distinction; that case is just not quite so problematic like the other, latter case. 

Edited August 25, 2021 by The0Self

[gettoefl]

3 minutes ago, The0Self said:

Yeah... By "great," what I really mean is basically "whatever; no problem"  -- was just highlighting the distinction; that case is just not quite so problematic like the other, latter case. 

i say it's more problematic and best ignored ... our ego is always seeking inflation from those we wrongly consider our betters

[The0Self]

4 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

i say it's more problematic and best ignored ... our ego is always seeking inflation from those we wrongly consider our betters

Well, you're right about that. But if one is contemplatively fit, they might be able to know the difference. Anyhow, the key is just not to let any compliments have any effect, because they can only effect the ego anyway... but as long as they do have an apparent effect, that's due to the deeper issue of the illusory sense of lack.

[gettoefl]

14 minutes ago, The0Self said:

Well, you're right about that. But if one is contemplatively fit, they might be able to know the difference. Anyhow, the key is just not to let any compliments have any effect, because they can only effect the ego anyway... but as long as they do have an apparent effect, that's due to the deeper issue of the illusory sense of lack.

yes precisely

[Goldzilla]

Compliments are relative. Not always work and can get in trouble in some situations.