drawing - learning how - new one each day

[ryangold]

i feel just.................

 

really incapable

 

no confidence

 

dead inside

 

 

 

[ryangold]

giving up meth

may go to rehab as i can't handle the sweats

started first meditation youtube video

 

[ryangold]

@lxlichael I feel ashamed of myself. I ended up crying with guilt a few hours later after sharing tht.

I'm not a good person, I know that. I want to be. I'm trying to work through everything. I need help. I won't lean. I will see a therapist.

I've embarrassed myself.

I don't have much to say.

Thank you for the motivation. I feel more grounded now after you saying that.

I'm a better person than what I've shared so far.

Apologies to anyone I have offended in any way.

Edited December 9, 2021 by ryangold

[ryangold]

Thanks Mike (?) I’ve just pm’d you.

I appreciate your words they’ve had a big impact on me, I plan on doing everything I can to draw something every day now (thank you too Myioko).

[ryangold]

@lxlichael and @Myioko thx. Correction.

perspective like drawing I've missed that.

feeling better

get one done today

[ryangold]

@lxlichael got a lot I want to say. Reading your stuff. I'll say everything in pm from now on. Any sooner you can is appreciated also. Gives me time to prepare.

[ryangold]

feeling much better today (needed to decompress-reassess before starting over)

thx mike/@lxlichael for getting back to me sooner I have a feelng you're going to like what one I have coming. You're the man, grateful

not sure if everyday but I'm feeling it way more, getting back into other things in my life more too

setting up my future thinking about next year

[egoeimai]

Are you going to continue drawing?

[ryangold]

@egoeimai yeah i gotta lxlichael is making me haha not gonna let down, do or die mentality evry day

[ryangold]

got 2 comin today feeling inspired

[ryangold]

thx mike/ @lxlichael. 

Leap of faith. 

if we let our tragedies take us we'll become the tragedy.

----

spent 30 min on this 1. had to change lighting coz bad photo quality can't capture soft lines

doin 2 tomorrow or just when it feels, pacing myself still drawin everyday

... don't want to start watching how to draw vids till after about a month as I want to see what I have first

---

watched Braveheart today. 

 

[ryangold]

Yo don't steal my thunder dog lol. Yeah that's cool I'm down. Where's your art? What's your setup as well (gym)? You're 100-110kg on the bench yeah? What else?

[ryangold]

kg to pounds conversion = 242.508 (110 kg)

I weigh 202 pounds lol

Edited December 15, 2021 by ryangold

[ryangold]

@lxlichael Wow you must live such a tight schedule Mike, that's really inspirational I'm really looking forward to this partnership I know its going to be a good one. A mural seems so far off for me right now so I feel privileged to be able to work with someone as ambitious as you. I know a bit about shoulder injuries and diet as well will help in any area you want there. No one in my family is really artsy, I feel that this part of me has been really neglected in this sense because I always had the yearning.

Uploading three drawings today, feeling the flame come alight.

And understood Mike.

[ryangold]

Now just waiting on finding my phone. Completed objective.

https://www.thoughtco.com/best-visual-artists-of-all-time-3985842

Van Gogh is my fav, stayed with his passion enough outside the need for public approval. That's amazing devotion.

[ryangold]

I struggle with approval still in some ways. It takes such courage to do without it. My New Years res. I've been speaking to a therapist though I'm not really present in the sessions planning on trying someone new.

[ryangold]

Publicly thanking @lxlichael for the Skype call we had today.

Has truly changed my life. 

Much better than my therapist that I'll still see until I find someone better.

On a new track.

Sharing art whenever I want, no pressure. No need for validation, finding positive habits here.

Edited December 19, 2021 by ryangold

[ryangold]

46 minutes ago, lxlichael said:

@ryangold's a cool cat!

No problems mate.

U made me laugh a lot today Mike, again thank you so much.

Great sense of humour, good to see the heart behind the ice-man.

We're still on for next week yeah?

Edited December 19, 2021 by ryangold