Just declined a job offer/Have i done the right thing?

[Shiva99]

Long story short i just declined a job offer at my old office. First and foremost because a lot of people have applied for this job, and i didn't have to at all. The reason they offered me this job is because one of my old colleagues ( good friend of mine), knows the boss very well. He basically told his boss that i was a very good colleague etc. So today his boss calls me out of the blue with this job offer. Everyone else had a limited time to apply, and i didn't even need to. The job would have been mine without me having to follow the rules everyone else had to. I feel like this would have been very unfair. I couldn't do it, because this would definitely go against my principles. I don't like favouritism at all. I don't want anything to do with stuff like that.

I also don't feel like getting a job offer put in my lap like that, because later on it might get used against me. 

Edited August 24, 2021 by Shiva99

[hyruga]

You rejected your friend's goodwill and during this pandemic, it may be hard to find a good job.

Edited August 24, 2021 by hyruga

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, Shiva99 said:

Everyone else had a limited time to apply, and i didn't even need to. I feel like this would have been very unfair. I couldn't do it, because this would definitely go against my principles. I don't like favouritism at all. I don't want anything to do with stuff like that.

The point of the application process is to show that you're qualified. If you get offered the job, it means you're already qualified 

[Matt23]

I dunno. I get where you're coming from and applaud you sticking to your principles.

But also, maybe it's not that much of a big deal to just take the job, you know?   I'm not saying what was right or wrong either.  Maybe not taking that job was the best thing you could've done.  I mean, if you were like broke, about to be evicted, that would be a different story and I'd say "take the fucking job".  So it's a bit context dependent.

I feel sometimes people, speaking from person experience (with myself), can maybe get a bit too high n' mighty with their values and principles to the detriment of wisdom and just practicalities. 

Balance your ideals with compassion (including self-compassion) and wisdom.  

Sometimes being able to let things go and be imperfect is helpful and even wise.  

Actually, I just watched a movie last night (In Bruges) which perfectly encapsulates my point.

• Basically, this hitman accidentally shoots and kills a kid.  
• Now he's been targeted since he fucked up. 
• The guy who's after him said "If I shot a kid, I'd kill myself right then and there. No excuses."
• At the end of the movie, the guy who's after the hitman accidentally shoots a midget which he mistakes as a kid.  
• Upon thinking he shot a kid, the guy says "You gotta stick to your principles" and shoots himself.  Meanwhile, the hitman is trying to get him to stop since he knows the "kid" is a midget. 

 

Edited August 24, 2021 by Matt23

[Jacob Morres]

5 hours ago, hyruga said:

You rejected your friend's goodwill and during this pandemic, it may be hard to find a good job.

be so good they cant ignore you 

[BlackMaze]

Just take the frickin job. Who cares? You are going to get exploited anyway. Fuck jobs. Take the job. Lie to get your job. It's all pointless. Find a way to escape the job market unless you enjoy sitting in your cubicle and having a boss or even worse. Fucking carrot in our face and the carrot is survival or toys. 

[flowboy]

On 24/08/2021 at 3:29 PM, Shiva99 said:

Long story short i just declined a job offer at my old office. First and foremost because a lot of people have applied for this job, and i didn't have to at all. The reason they offered me this job is because one of my old colleagues ( good friend of mine), knows the boss very well. He basically told his boss that i was a very good colleague etc. So today his boss calls me out of the blue with this job offer. Everyone else had a limited time to apply, and i didn't even need to. The job would have been mine without me having to follow the rules everyone else had to. I feel like this would have been very unfair. I couldn't do it, because this would definitely go against my principles. I don't like favouritism at all. I don't want anything to do with stuff like that.

I also don't feel like getting a job offer put in my lap like that, because later on it might get used against me. 

What you're not telling us is what really matters.

• Is this new job a position where you can blossom?
• Would you be able to do a lot of good for the world by using this job as a stepping stone?
• Would you be on purpose, or on the way to be on your purpose, by accepting that?

You're so busy with your principles that you fail to think of the greater good.

If you align your own evolution with Nature's evolution, and your highest interests with the world's best interest, you don't have to worry about things like favouritism. Because it's either meant to be, or it isn't.

 

?

[Danioover9000]

@Shiva99

On 24/08/2021 at 2:29 PM, Shiva99 said:

Long story short i just declined a job offer at my old office. First and foremost because a lot of people have applied for this job, and i didn't have to at all. The reason they offered me this job is because one of my old colleagues ( good friend of mine), knows the boss very well. He basically told his boss that i was a very good colleague etc. So today his boss calls me out of the blue with this job offer. Everyone else had a limited time to apply, and i didn't even need to. The job would have been mine without me having to follow the rules everyone else had to. I feel like this would have been very unfair. I couldn't do it, because this would definitely go against my principles. I don't like favouritism at all. I don't want anything to do with stuff like that.

I also don't feel like getting a job offer put in my lap like that, because later on it might get used against me. 

   Not enough context to give advice, like the kind of career you're in, the job offered, salary, time frame, how many hours, work days, previous job you did, what your colleague also did, what your old office is like.

   So, I'll list some following contexts later to give some substance to my suggestions with what you might've done:

 

[Javfly33]

YOU REALLY FUCKED UP THIS TIME

[Nahm]

@Javfly33

Come on man. 

[Javfly33]

@Nahm was ironic of course ? so he can realize its fine 

@Shiva99 I might quit mine too Dont worry

[Nahm]

@Javfly33

Damn it! I bamboozled myself with the all caps. 

[Matt23]

If you're feeling regretful about it, I feel your struggles.  I'm experiencing similarly.  

The excuse I made was I'm being more balanced.  

I would just say that if you can look at the choice you made and realize why you did it, and really just examine what's true and not: what's your ideas of what cuold have been as only concepts... then maybe that helps.  

Though I understand if the feelings are a lot stronger than simply noticing that those feelings are based on beliefs.  

You at least went with your principles, which I think is a fine 'principle' to go with in life.  

 

[Bando]

On 8/24/2021 at 9:29 AM, Shiva99 said:

I couldn't do it, because this would definitely go against my principles. I don't like favouritism at all. I don't want anything to do with stuff like that.

 

Don't want to get philosophical but everything is favoritism, as long as your alive you will always have a bias favoring yourself. If you were about to get evicted or had a family to support and you got offered this job you would take it in a heart beat. 

Now what im assuming is this this job didn't have the career growth you want, salary wasn't good enough or maybe your just not passionate about it so its easy to pass up but this won't always be the case. Especially if your co-workers put in a good word for you it can strain your relationship if you don't accept because "its not fair"

The world runs on favoritism nobody including you is immune to it thats all im trying to say, I can see this paradigm of thinking biting you in the butt in the future if you don't examine it more closely . 

[hyruga]

Don't care what others think. The more you don't go against what other people think, the more you care about it.

[Javfly33]

9 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Javfly33

Damn it! I bamboozled myself with the all caps. 

Yeap, its the danger and beauty of the lack of non-lingual language ?