Stuck in the Unknown

[BlackLeopard]

Hi everyone, I am new here. I found this forums while I was googlin' trying to find a few answers.

A brief summary, so you know what I mean:

I had what form the outside looked like a great life: Great job with great salary, own apartment.... bla bla bla. But I wasn't happy and I got depressed. Starting therapy, I discovered I had been dragging my depression for ages and bit after that it turned out that I had serious childhood trauma that I was not aware of (I know, super cliché). The thing is, this trauma has been what has shape most of my life and made me be a person that wasn't really me.
Anyway, after all of this and a long time of being depressed and wishing to go back in time and live my life again, I decided to do a re-start. To find out my authentic self, who I am, what I want etc. I quit my job, I rented my apartment, packed everything and moved to Bali (Bali because it is warm and it is affordable).
This has been an amazing journey, I have learned a lot about myself and I am finally healing. However, now time is passing by quickly and I don't know what the next step is. I keep hoping the path will unfold itself, but somehow it doesn't.
I try meditations to visualize the future, open your third eye, open your intuition.... But even when I am supposed to visualize my dream life in the future, I only see blank. I think I don't even know what I want my life to look like and I don't know how to move out of this spot.

Any advice?

[Strangeloop]

I had many visions, some of them fullfilled some of not. Sometimes the vision can be deceiving too, sometimes the vision fullfills itself 100%. Right now I suggest just taking your time. Not rushing anywhere. Be like an old person who doesn't rush anywhere because he wants to live every moment at it's fullest. Seems ideal but hard to live like that. Even if I said it to live like that and then contradicted myself it doesn't mean it can't be achieved.

Have you tried The Life Purpose course? There are many mental exercises also lots of visualizations and techniques to help you discover what your path might be in the future.

[BlackLeopard]

Thank you for your advice @Strangeloop

Not rushing is what I have been doing these past months. It is great. But, you know, money isn't endless. At some point, I need to find a place to settle and I need to find a way to make money that is not going back to my past job...

[RickyFitts]

what's the situation with the childhood trauma you mentioned, did you manage to resolve it or is it an ongoing issue?

[BlackLeopard]

Hi @RickyFitts it's resolved, thanks for asking. Took a while, but that's not really in the way anymore.

[RickyFitts]

2 hours ago, BlackLeopard said:

Hi @RickyFitts it's resolved, thanks for asking. Took a while, but that's not really in the way anymore.

Fantastic, happy to hear it  

I can relate to the feeling of stuckness you're talking about, and not knowing what your purpose in life is - I know it probably sounds trite, but I really do believe that the answers can be found within. So the only advice I can think to give right now is to listen to your inner knowing, bring your attention inwards and listen for what the spiritual teacher Adyashanti refers to as 'the still, small voice'. And have the courage to act on what it's telling you.

Best of luck with it, I know it's not easy but you'll figure it out