Abandoned By Mother At Birth

[Guest]

I have dealt with emotional instability for several years and have difficulty forming relationships. I am trying to remedy by this by practicing mediation and working on personal growth, relying less on external validation and more on internal validation.

 

What do you think of this approach?

[Ayla]

That is the only thing you can do.  

Search this forum, there is already a lot of advice on how to go about it, and I'm sure you will personally receive even more  

[MaxBlank]

@Saitama I love it.

By the way, my mother was young when she gave birth to me. She could not handle parenthood, or marriage, and split when I was 3. I can count on one hand the number of times we have met prior to her passing. We are certainly not alone in this regard. It is a fact with many.

Please do not allow an unfortunate entry into this existence determine your value. There is so much more to life.

Edited February 18, 2016 by WarPants

[Henri]

Are you aware of, or diagnosed as having an attachment disorder?

[Guest]

@Henri I am not aware of having one. I've never sought professional help to get diagnosed either. Is there a reliable means of self-diagnosis?

[Henri]

It`s a hard topic and one I have to treat in a very careful way.

When you talk about abandoned by your mother and emotional instability with difficulty forming relationships, it could be your having a kind of reactive attachment disorder. 

You can check it out yourself on the internet, there are many different levels to it.

All I can say is that when you do, you might need some extra work, knowledge and experience on your way of self development. But let me know.

 

[Cookiesliyr]

@Saitamahello there, how are you doing? when you are in doubt and feel down, and you feel you can't advance in life and it is hard to live happily like others it is good to check some professional help, if you are still a student try to check the psychology department, they usually have free semi-pro check up for students, self diagnosis in my experience is not advisable, even shrinks go to other shrinks you know.

actually i had my fair share of lack of trust to strangers when i was younger, and it what pushed me to learn how to analyze people and how to watch them, learn how to listen in better way. when you get disappointed in people over and over and start to believe all people are bad or manipulative here is where i believe the "trusting others problem" emerge, one of the solutions for this problem is actually from Dr. seligman! he is one of my super heroes actually lol, very charming fellow i am telling you, he suggested several examples from him book "Learned Optimism", which i believe i don't have the copy right to quote from it, and even i do i should take a permission from him.

but if the title wasn't clear you need to decrease your negativity and the negative view about others, some believe this is like the reverse golden rule, when you judge someone as "bad" or "he is trying to do some agenda" try instead to give cut him some slack, not cutting him, the slack thing, you know?  try to put yourself in their shoes "maybe they have an urgency\emergency" or "maybe there is some misunderstanding" or maybe "i might asked them in the wrong time", try to search about this great man and if you have negativity issue and negative prospective to the human race i advice you to buy the book and read it.

once again you need to know the source of the problem, why do you have problems in trust, when you solve the problem the cure start, it means it takes time to cure, to make big changes, knowing that you need to be less negative doesn't take two days and three hours! it take time and persistence and vision to believe that you want to get better.

 

hopefully that helped.

Edited February 24, 2016 by Cookiesliyr