Telling Girls I'm In an Open-Relationship Makes Them Less Interested In Me

[Twega]

22 minutes ago, hamedsf said:

don't take it personally but still I'm telling the truth. women aren't interested in the type of the guy who is okay with his girlfriend to have sex with another guys. a female needs a protective man (not necessarily a jealous tho) 

Not taking it personally, but you're mistaken. I'm sure many people think this way, but those who are wise know that love does not mean possession. Luckily I found someone who thinks like me. My own personal life directly invalidates what you claim to be the truth.

You make it sound like being protective and being non-monogamous are mutually exclusive when they are not. Sneaky

[Preety_India]

Most women want monogamous relationship. 

 

[hoodrow trillson]

Most women dislike men who let his own woman go out and get railed by other men.  It shows you have no balls to them--no boundaries.  It also doesn't matter who initiated the open relationship in the first place to them, they won't care about the details.  It might seem to you that they might think 'oh wow he's so confident in himself that he trusts his gf/wife to go out and have sex with other people' but in reality that puts them off, they think it's gross.  Like a poster said above, it's a red flag to them.

If you were single and you initiated casual sex with women in the same manner, you'd be way more successful because you wouldn't be in the 'cuckhold' paradigm in their mind.  

A friend of mine actually had this problem lmao.  He couldn't get any but his wife was just racking up the numbers. 

[SriSriJustinBieber]

I fail to see how this is bad news if they get uninterested.

It simply means they don't perceive benefit in the configuration you are offering. Going into the specifics seems irrelevant and, if you insist to know, is to be asked case by case, not by generalizing/extrapolating from the answers on a forum in which most people are not even women (and will mostly project their own biases & make you feel bad).

Just keep in mind that this is not rejection but redirection.

Life is inviting you to up your dating game in terms of skillfulness and in terms of meeting many many women, among which I assume only a minority will be interested. This is a great opportunity for growth and personal development.

Edited August 22, 2021 by SriSriJustinBieber

[Vzdoh]

Question is when exactly do you tell these women that u r in an open relationship? 

Right off the bat? Or later in the process? 

There's nothing wrong for you to want to have an open relationship if this is what you desire and what makes you truly happy. 

Likewise for most women, nothing wrong with wanting a monogamous relationship with a guy and de selecting you as you are not going to give them that. 

In my case, as I am interested in a long term relationship with a man, I forgo guys in open relationships immediately. Why? Because I see them already in a relationship with someone, open or not. So where is my place in this dynamic? To be a sex provider? I value and respect myself highly and I am not interested to be just sex for a guy with whom a prospect of a true loving relationship is quite slim, considering he already has a relationship. 

So NEXT

[hamedsf]

10 hours ago, Twega said:

Not taking it personally, but you're mistaken. I'm sure many people think this way, but those who are wise know that love does not mean possession. Luckily I found someone who thinks like me. My own personal life directly invalidates what you claim to be the truth.

You make it sound like being protective and being non-monogamous are mutually exclusive when they are not. Sneaky

I would make a harem of girls and still protect their ass one by one if an external man comes over. Sneaky ?

[puporing]

It's tricky.. I think most people like to feel like they're special in dating situations (even if temporary?), and that can be hard to do in an open relationship. I think it could work either as you treat them like a FWB but treat them very well just be clear it's not a long term situation right off the bat and figure out a WIN WIN for both involved not just for you, OR treat them like someone really important to you regardless of your dating situation.. like a soul mate but she can come and go as it works or not work for her (as in any open situation people can come and go and come back lol, I mean it has to be genuine of course..)

Other than that I think open relationship for me is more like a way of being.. like I don't want to hide my feelings if they do come up, or pretend I'm not attracted to others, or closing all possibility of loving others (can be platonic or sexual..) , etc. If you can embrace that without the need for outcomes it can be pretty sweet

Also I think the one that initiates/actively pursues this lifestyle will find out that he/she will have to love harder than they might have in a one-on-one situation.  (both in terms of how they handle the relationships/maturity and skills, and life-purpose related pursuits).

Edited August 24, 2021 by puporing

[Emerald]

If I just met a guy and I was feeling some interest in him, and he said he was in an open relationship, I would immediately lose interest as well.

I don't want to be with someone who's already in a relationship with someone else. So, I would move on to find another man who was in a spot more compatible to my interests. 

[KennedyCarter]

This is a juicy thread haha. OP got a wild sex life