Telling Girls I'm In an Open-Relationship Makes Them Less Interested In Me

[Twega]

The title says all. I will admit that I am reluctant to tell girls about me being in an open relationship because I know they will lose interest.

Why is that? Do they feel threatened? Sometimes it is the opposite, and girls will actually be interested in me, but the former is often the case.

Edited August 22, 2021 by Twega

[Preety_India]

Anyway be honest. 

Honesty is better. Whether they like it or not. 

 

 

[hamedsf]

I hope you remember the old-term cuckold...why do they use it as an insult? just because cuckold is a doormat in a relationship.  

 

[Gesundheit2]

[Twega]

56 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Cause they want you for themselves. Isn't that obvious??

They would try to win me over instead of completely losing interest. Girls need to know u before they want u for themselves. In many cases, they never even get to know me.

[Twega]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Anyway be honest. 

Honesty is better. Whether they like it or not. 

You are 100% right. I blew off 4 sexual partners by telling them the truth. Now I am reluctant. But you are right, and I will try do so.

[Twega]

1 hour ago, hamedsf said:

I hope you remember the old-term cuckold...why do they use it as an insult? just because cuckold is a doormat in a relationship.  

 

i am not understanding what you are trying to convey

[Vzdoh]

Agree. Surprised its not obvious to you. Women want a relationship, not just sex. Lying about your status when she eventually finds out, will only lead her to leave u anyways. I am against being dishonest like this because u r tricking a person into something they don't want to be part of. Respect their right to know and make informed decision for themselves. 

[Twega]

2 minutes ago, Vzdoh said:

Agree. Surprised its not obvious to you. Women want a relationship, not just sex. Lying about your status when she eventually finds out, will only lead her to leave u anyways. I am against being dishonest like this because u r tricking a person into something they don't want to be part of. Respect their right to know and make informed decision for themselves. 

You misunderstood me. I do not lie to them about my intentions. I am obvious to girls that I do not want a relationship ever or have kids ever. I am clear that I value sexual freedom and will not be restrained. I am clear that I do not like jealousy and possessiveness. Yet many girls accept this and are fine: UNTIL they find out I am in an open relationship. So your theory is partially incorrect because they knew what I want/do not want, and that did not stop them, but being in a relationship does. WHY?

[Raptorsin7]

You will not find a high quality woman if you are into polyamory. Unless you're a god amongst men

[Twega]

1 minute ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Unless you're a god amongst men

I guess I am

Edited August 22, 2021 by Twega

[Roy]

54 minutes ago, Twega said:

They would try to win me over instead of completely losing interest.

Don't think too highly of yourself if you're genuinely wondering and questioning why things aren't working.

It's going to be hard to find someone who is into being a third wheel. And yes while technically you can make it a "separate" relationship it will never feel like that for them.

[Twega]

Just now, Roy said:

Don't think too highly of yourself if you're genuinely wondering and questioning why things aren't working.

I wasn't thinking highly of myself.

I was replying to @Knowledge Hoarder when he said, "they want you for themselves," so the assumption being here is that they want me: so my answer was wouldn't they try to have me instead of losing interest?

I don't know about thinking highly of oneself, but I do damn know that I value myself. Not a bad thing.

[Twega]

2 minutes ago, Tangerinedream said:

They lie to themselves that they will be ok with your requirements and don’t want to appear needy so pretend they’re cool with it.  
When in reality if they did accept your requirements and started sleeping with you they would have some hope that you can be changed and would eventually commit.  So when you say you’re in a relationship then that glimmer of hope is gone, they know it will be a waste of time to continue seeing you.  And most people are very insecure and being in that type of arrangement would cause them emotional pain in the long run. 
So telling them you are in a open relationship just makes them wise up faster and not waste their time. 

You're right because most of them ended up being needy, except for a few who stopped seeing me because they found someone else. However, don't think that all girls are like that. I currently know a girl who only sees me because she enjoys my company and for sex. That is it. She talks to me about guys and has fucked my friend in the past. Women connect emotions to sex, which for them is inseparable. However, emotions do not equate to a relationship. For some women, promiscuity and adventure is more enthralling emotionally than a stable guy. It's true.

[Twega]

2 minutes ago, Tangerinedream said:

This would mean the girls would have to be In their masculine competitive role, if you want them to be trying to ‘win’ you. 
do you really want girls to go through the emotional pain of trying to win you over even though you are already in relationship? 
 

In this case, I mean they would let me try to win them over. I.e they would date me and get to know me and then decide. But some are turned off instantly when I mention I am in a relationship. So they are not trying to know me. That is what I mean

[gettoefl]

2 hours ago, Twega said:

The title says all. I will admit that I am reluctant to tell girls about me being in an open relationship because I know they will lose interest.

Why is that? Do they feel threatened? Sometimes it is the opposite, and girls will actually be interested in me, but the former is often the case.

you are inviting them into a threesome whether they like it or not

[somegirl]

They feel threatened? Rather, it's that most people want conventional monogamous relationships aka they want you to want her *only* and the other way around.

And yes, you should tell them the truth, whether they like it or not. They should know what they will get into. Otherwise it's just deceitful.

 

[Roy]

18 minutes ago, Twega said:

I wasn't thinking highly of myself.

You worded it as if it was a statement and not a question. That you can't accept that they are losing interest, so they ought to win you over.

1 hour ago, Twega said:

They would try to win me over instead of completely losing interest.

Sorry if I misunderstood it's not always easy to interpret what people mean through just text.

[hamedsf]

4 hours ago, Twega said:

i am not understanding what you are trying to convey

don't take it personally but still I'm telling the truth. women aren't interested in the type of the guy who is okay with his girlfriend to have sex with another guys. a female needs a protective man (not necessarily a jealous tho) 

[Leo Gura]

Few people know what an open relationship is or how to manage it. It's a non-traditional approach so of course most will not appreciate it nor fathom it.t