Me and my boyfriend.

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, Marcel said:

I Completely understand what you mean.

I was a bit surprised to see my name in the titel haha

But you´re right, i suppose this is our personal journal, so a bit of little privacy may be a good idea.

Exactly. I'm glad that you didn't mind. I love how you deeply understand me through and through. 

We complement each other like milk and honey. 

@Marcel Btw, I like my profile. It's too cutely cute. Your name and my name intertwined in clouds.

 

Edited August 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

7 minutes ago, Marcel said:

. 

1 minute ago, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

 

Yes, it is nothing short of a miracle. We probably will be able to communicate telepathically at some point haha

Our emotions and thoughts will become one, the connection we have is absolutely incredibly, i think something like this only happens once in a lifetime.

 

I´ll be completely honest, i feel a very big fear of losing you, you not being not attracted to me anymore for some reason for example.

I don´t know where this comes from, but i feel really insecure about this.

I can feel in my heart that my thoughts are not true, but it scares me.

 

Yes we truly complement each other. 

I find our connection very rare and absolutely beautiful. I can't lose it either. 

Also I'm a much secure person. I have taken the Big 5 Traits Ocean Personality Test and biggest quality is Openness. I'm high on OPENNESS. Which means I say it like I mean it, there are no ifs and buts. 

So i do not allow insecurities to hound me. I'm like a Phoenix standing guard outside a pen. No insecurities can plague my relationship. 

So i love you freely and openly, as much as my spirit allows. 

I'm totally attracted to you.. You mean the world. Don't let insecurities bother you. 

I give relationship advice to many many people here in the Dating section of the forum and many many people thank me everyday

 

I have been through multiple relationships so I know a thing or two about relationships more than other areas of life. 

The biggest disaster that harm a relationship are insecurities, those pesky thoughts that creep into our mind regarding a relationship. They are very bad and they act like relationship killers. They cause a lot of misunderstanding and destroy the beauty of a relationship.. 

I would advice you to not have such thoughts. I'm secure in my attraction and I fully embrace you. 

I openly love you. I don't hide my love for you. This is an example of my Openness and not hiding how I feel about you.. I don't even like people who hide their feelings. 

I'm totally grounded and sincere in my love. My love is not fickle or showy. It is not filled with empty shows of random affection or just superficial emotions.. My love runs deep and is generous. 

I love you deeply my love. Don't let such thoughts taint the beauty of our bond please

 

Be secure in knowing that I love you firmly and I am not half hearted. I'm a lion hearted person. 

I don't simply fall in love.. 

[Preety_India]

10 minutes ago, Marcel said:

I love it as well. How did you do it?

I could have the same picture but with your name on top and mine at the bottom instead, how would you like that?

Ok I'll design it for you that way. Give me a bit of time. Like 5 minutes. 

[Preety_India]

Here is the profile picture for you I made. 

You can download it and put it as your profile. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, Marcel said:

"I have taken the Big 5 Traits Ocean Personality Test"

I would love to make that test as well, where can i find it?

21 minutes ago, Marcel said:

. 

 

Here is test site 

https://www.scienceofpeople.com/

 

Give me 2 mins, I'll sort it. 

This is the reference post for the test. 

So this is the actual link for the test. Click on take the quiz. 

https://www.scienceofpeople.com/personality/

 

Edited August 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Reference post for the test

On 13/04/2021 at 6:38 AM, Preety_India said:

I finally took the Big 5 OCEAN test. 

 

Here are my results. 

Your Results Are In!
Thanks for taking the Big 5 OCEAN personality test. Your hard work was worth it! Let’s review your scores in each category and tell you a little more about what the results might mean for your everyday life.

Be sure to print and share your results with the most important people in your life. And of course, get them to take it too. You’re welcome to take the test as many times as you need.

Openness: You are high open
Low Open “Preserver”
Medium Open
High Open “Explorer”
If you are high in openness you love trying new things and having new experiences. You are curious and imaginative. You love coming up with new ideas and new ways of doing things. You thrive off of new! High opens often adventure and are usually the first to try something for the first time.

If you want to maximize your high openness, try:

Signing up for a new activity every month — it will help you prevent burnout.
Exercising your imagination and talent for coming up with new ideas at work or with hobbies.
Finding an adventure buddy to help you exercise your high openness.
Conscientiousness: You are medium conscientious
Low Conscientiousness “Flexible”
Medium Conscientiousness
Conscientiousness describes your approach to organization and details–which depends on your mood and the context. Sometimes you can be very organized and on top of things, but in the wrong situation or when you are overwhelmed, the details and deadlines slip. You know when you need to, you can dial up your effectiveness and get organized even though it is not your favorite skill.

If you want to maximize your medium conscientiousness, try:

Finding the people, places and situations that bring out the best of your abilities — those are the places where you thrive.
Figure out your triggers for overwhelm and stress — and avoid them at all costs.
Find a planner or organization app that fits with your aptitude for details.
Special Note: If you are medium in many of the traits, try sending this Personality Test to someone else to take it as you. This checks your answers to make sure you are where you think you are!

High Conscientiousness “Focused”
Extroversion: You are medium extroversion
Low Extroversion “Introvert”
Medium Extroversion “Ambivert”
Extroversion describes how you interact with people. People who are medium in extroversion are called ambiverts because they can dial up or dial down depending on the situation. You are very adaptable to people situations — if you need to be outgoing, you can be, but it is draining. You can also spend an entire day alone very happy and content — but three days in a row might be too many.

If you want to maximize your ambiversion, try:

Finding the people who make you your best self. Ambiverts come alive around supportive people.
Saying no to the people and places that drain you. The wrong social outings can be a source of dread for an entire week–just say no!
See more tips for ambiverts in our ambivert guide here.
Special Note: If you are medium in many of the traits, try sending this Personality Test to someone else to take it as you. This checks your answers to make sure you are where you think you are!

High Extroversion “Extrovert”
Agreeableness: You are high agreeable
Low Agreeableness “Challenger”
Medium Agreeableness
High Agreeableness “Adapter”
Highly agreeable people are “yes” people. If this is you then you like to say yes to every request. You may even be a people pleaser. If you rate high in agreeableness you are likely friendly and compassionate. Highly agreeable people are also typically great team players. You are likely empathetic and very good at getting people to collaborate and cooperate. You might also be good at getting people to feel at ease, which makes it so people like to open up to you (and tell you their life story!)

If you want to maximize your high agreeableness, try:

Do you struggle with being indecisive? This is because you want everyone else to be happy — make sure you are getting your needs met too.
You are a great team player — and very good at supporting others and helping them. Leverage this super power!
Learn your boundaries. If you are a people pleaser you can sometimes say yes to the wrong things.
Neuroticism: You are low neurotic
Low Neuroticism “Resilient”
If you are low neurotic you are known for being stable and calm. You don’t have many mood swings or intense mood changes. You are not a worrier. This makes you a great laid-back partner and friend. You do not micromanage because you have faith that things will get done. You often see the best in people. 

If you want to maximize your neuroticism, try:

Adopting a high neurotic. Sometimes we need a little help.
Leveraging your stability by joining a high pressure job or hobby (volunteer firefighting perhaps?). Your ability to stay calm in intense situations is rare!
Have patience for emotional people in your life. Sometimes it is hard to understand the worriers in your life — but have compassion for them as they are not wired the same as you!
Medium Neuroticism
High Neuroticism “Reactive”

Took the test here 

https://www.scienceofpeople.com

 

RESULTS ARE

1. OPENNESS 

I am high Open 

 

 

 

 

2. CONSCIENTIOUSNESS 

I am medium conscientious

 

 

 

 

3. EXTROVERSION 

I'm medium EXTROVERSION. 

 

 

4. AGREEABLENESS

I am high agreeable

 

 

 

5. NEUROTICISM

I'm low neurotic 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

Your Big 5 Personality Results

 

Openness: You are high open

 

If you are high in openness you love trying new things and having new experiences. You are curious and imaginative. You love coming up with new ideas and new ways of doing things. You thrive off of new! High opens often adventure and are usually the first to try something for the first time.

 

If you want to maximize your high openness, try:

Signing up for a new activity every month — it will help you prevent burnout.

Exercising your imagination and talent for coming up with new ideas at work or with hobbies.

Finding an adventure buddy to help you exercise your high openness.

 

Conscientiousness: You are high conscientious

 

Conscientiousness describes your approach to organization and details. If you are high in conscientiousness you are very organized. You love details and don’t like to be unplanned. You are efficient and excel at to do lists. You might especially enjoy checking things off your to do list for a job well done! You are dependable, dutiful and a hard worker. 

 

If you want to maximize your high conscientiousness, try:

Loaning out your organization abilities to a colleague or partner in need — what comes naturally to you does not come naturally to everyone else!

Volunteering to be the coordinator, scheduler, note-taker at work or in your activities.

Exercising your talent for detail with the right kinds of hobbies and projects.

 

Extroversion: You are medium extroversion

 

Extroversion describes how you interact with people. People who are medium in extroversion are called ambiverts because they can dial up or dial down depending on the situation. You are very adaptable to people situations — if you need to be outgoing, you can be, but it is draining. You can also spend an entire day alone very happy and content — but three days in a row might be too many.

 

If you want to maximize your ambiversion, try:

Finding the people who make you your best self. Ambiverts come alive around supportive people.

Saying no to the people and places that drain you. The wrong social outings can be a source of dread for an entire week–just say no!

 

Special Note: If you are medium in many of the traits, try sending this Personality Test to someone else to take it as you. This checks your answers to make sure you are where you think you are!

 

Agreeableness: You are highly agreeable

 

Highly agreeable people are “yes” people. If this is you then you like to say yes to every request. You may even be a people pleaser. If you rate high in agreeableness you are likely friendly and compassionate. Highly agreeable people are also typically great team players. You are likely empathetic and very good at getting people to collaborate and cooperate. You might also be good at getting people to feel at ease, which makes it so people like to open up to you (and tell you their life story!)

 

If you want to maximize your high agreeableness, try:

Do you struggle with being indecisive? This is because you want everyone else to be happy — make sure you are getting your needs met too.

You are a great team player — and very good at supporting others and helping them. Leverage this super power!

Learn your boundaries. If you are a people pleaser you can sometimes say yes to the wrong things.

 

Neuroticism: You are medium neurotic

 

If you are medium in neuroticism, certain situations (or people) can set you off. You can get burned out if you sign up for too much. On a bad week, it is hard to fall asleep because you are worrying about all areas of your life. The good news is as a medium neurotic you can usually find ways to stabilize.

 

If you want to maximize your neuroticism, try:

Noticing your anxiety triggers. What turns a neutral week into a bad week? Stop the triggers before they start.

Creating some self-care routines to prevent burnout from happening in the first place.

Find low neurotic friends to keep you grounded

Lmao. Wait a minute. Is this my result lololololol? 

These were my results. 

 

Openness: You are high open

Conscientiousness: You are high conscientious

Extroversion: You are medium extroversion

Agreeableness: You are highly agreeable

Neuroticism: You are medium neurotic

 

Lets compare with your results. 

Openness: You are high open

Conscientiousness: You are high conscientious

Extroversion: You are medium extroversion

Agreeableness: You are highly agreeable

Neuroticism: You are medium neurotic

 

 

 

Wow, it's same lol. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

8 minutes ago, Marcel said:

 

@Preety_India

I cannot believe it, it is the same!

we are truly made for each other.

We even both have the INTP Result in the 16 personalities test.

My gosh, you literally are my mirror self.

True Marcel

 I used to always believe that only opposites attract each other. 

Now I believe that even mirror selves can attract each other. 

You're my soulmate and lover. I love you deeply. And I'm lucky to have you by my side. 

 

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Marcel said:

You truly are my soulmate and i will love you until the end of time.

Me too. Love you. 

[Preety_India]

33 minutes ago, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

I found it. 

I wrote this on monday.

So About a week ago.

 

When will i meet my soul mate? I am not in a rush, but at the same time i cannot wait to surrender myself to that person.

I cannot wait either. You're the love of my life. 

Quote

 

I crave intimacy, sharing my most inner thoughts and feelings, sharing my deepest desires and secrets and being able to blindly trust the other person.

I blindly trust you.. You're my heart, you're my soul. 

Quote

I have never been in a relationship in my entire life and i have the feeling, that if i finally am in one, it will create an eternal bond between the two of us.

 

We're eternal.. 

I'm not a very verbose person. Yet I say a few words but those words are like bullets, they do the job right. 

Quote

Sex is not a priority for me, of course i crave it to some extent and i would be lying if i said i did not have any interest in it, but what matters most to me is the emotional connection between me and the women of my dreams. I need to be emotionally bound by her, i have no interest in anything else.

 

Sex has never been a priority for me either. First comes emotions all the way. I cannot think of sex unless I'm deeply and passionately emotional with my man. 

I had made a thread about how I find casual sex a sin. I don't judge people who are into that lifestyle. But to me it ruins my integrity. 

Quote

 

I will fully open myself up to her. I will always have an open ear and listen to her, especially if she needs me to. I will always be there for her, supporting her in any way possible.

I'll support you too. A relationship is and should be mutual.. 

Quote

 

I will fulfill her every need and desire. I will accept and embrace every aspect of her rich and multidimensional personality,

I'm a multi dimensional person. Dealing with me can be hard. I'm sorry I'm such a complicated person but this is how I was born. 

Quote

no matter how difficult it may be, there is no point in giving up. I want her to fully be herself, expressing herself to the upmost degree. I want to get rid of shame and judgement entirely, they have no place in my world.

 

 

Yep. Judging yourself is the worst form of disservice. You're beautiful and whole as you are. This doesn't mean that there's no room for improvement. But you should try to improve yourself from top side downwards rather than bottom side upwards. That is you should not negatively motivate yourself by judging and shaming, rather positively motivate yourself by improving what is already good. Judgement always has a bad outcome. 

In fact I absolutely detest judgemental people

 

 

Quote

Everything is pure between us.

This is the most important thing to me. 

 

Quote

 

 

Infinite Love and mutual understanding. Vulnerability and genuine honest communication is key to create what i have in mind.

 

Yes I'm extremely vulnerable as you can see. I can never be with a person who isn't vulnerable

 

 

Quote

I have no idea why i am the way i am, even thinking that there is something fundamentally wrong with me for not wanting to chase women and sleeping around casually.

There is nothing fundamentally wrong per se. But it doesn't fit in my book. 

I don't go around chasing and sleeping around with men. It doesn't fit with my moral integrity. 

I can say i have strong sexual morals

 I have never cheated in my relationships and I am very proud of that. 

Quote

 

Feeling like a total failure and almost drowning myself in self-pity, for not having a girlfriend and not having had any sex in my entire life.

 

Well you got a girlfriend. Her name is Preety 

Btw a girlfriend is not everything. 

SO DON'T PUT ME ON A PEDESTAL. PUT YOURSELF FIRST. 

Quote

But i finally learned that it is good the way it is. That i am good the way i am, that there is nothing wrong with me and that there is no shame in still being a virgin at 22.

Any culture or society that assumes  virginity is shameful is an  unfit society 

 

Quote

 

I can finally accept myself as a women. Finally embracing my strong feminine side, that i have deeply suppressed for most of my life.

 

Your feminine will help you in life. 

I have a suppressed masculine. I am not masculine and that usually poses a problem because I get too girly girly. 

I'm always working on understanding and integrating masculine. 

I love your masculinity. It's very sexy. 

Quote

 I will continue making mistakes. I still have a lot to learn. I still am not entirely able to control my emotions and burst into a flaming fury from time to time and start crying like a baby afterwards every time it happens. Something within me just starts bursting into tears when i am in rage. It is like an unhealthy release mechanism.

Well I cry a shit ton. It will fill up the Pacific Ocean. 

 

 

Edited August 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

@Marcel

 

I hope you don't feel like I'm spying on you if I visit your profile page. 

And I hope you don't feel ignored if I'm not around or busy with something. 

 

I'm just generally wary of not letting someone feel either way, because I never know how the other person tends to take it. 

My 3rd Boyfriend used to have a problem if I looked through his phone or social media. He used to tease me sarcastically that I'm a spy. Well I used to simply try to know more about him or just natural curiosity.. 

I used to feel very punished every time even for little things which were simply innocuous and perfectly innocent and he used to make it look like a crime because he was an absolute bastard and an absolute narcissist who used blackmail and threat throughout the  relationship to control me. 

I remember feeling anxious around him all the  time. It was AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL. He used to be like a boss in the relationship leaving me no freedom. 

I hope he Rots in hell. But anyway. I don't want to think about him. Just wanted to give an example. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Marcel I also know that relationships are overwhelming. So you can always take as many breaks as you want. 

There's never any pressure from my end. 

I'm a bit possessive but I can control it well.

I believe that a tiny amount of possessiveness in a relationship is like placing some butter on a loaf. It only enhances the taste 

I love you my angel.. 

Without you I'm never complete. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

I am an open book to you.

And i am glad you are just as open to me.

You can look through my profile if you want, no problem.

Don´t worry about taking a while to respond for example.

Its completely fine, i cannot expect you to just completely focus on me and leave everything else haha

Thank you for not pressuring me in any way, i really feel free with you.

Hehe I am so happy reading this. It relieved my stress. 

I remember my ex stressing the fuck out of me with his 24/7 childish demands. He was so pressuring and narcissistic. Like constantly pressing my buttons.. 

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

My god that sounds awful. 

I promise i will never push your buttons in that way, just writing this out makes me want to vomit, that is so not aligned with my values whatsoever.

I want you to feel relaxed and not worried about doing anything wrong.

Feel free to do anything you want. Just completely be yourself.

Lets just feel the love and enjoy what we have, i think it is absolutely unique and precious.

Yep it is. 

Massaging your belly. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

33 minutes ago, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

Love you my princess 

[Preety_India]

I crave for your love and keeeeeeees

Goodnight sweetheart. 

I'm always yours. 

Dreaming of you. 

May this dream never end. 

 

We're inseparable. 

We're truly Romeo and Juliet.. Never apart anymore. Together forever. 

I rest my head on your lap. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Marcel said:

We are definitely like that. I feel that i can be completely myself around you, i feel free and carefree.

I think i realised my life purpose while laying awake.

I feel like a women deep down at my core being, i am absolutely certain that i am a woman in a man's body.

Now, i really don´t know what this means for me in the future, if i may need gender alighnement surgery at some point or not.

But i am very happy with this realisation for now. And just let me to discover my life purpose.

I think my purpose is to make women all over the globe feel save and protected, able to freely embrace and live out their feminity without any consequences and universal euqal rights and emancipation.

This resonates with me a lot and touches something deep inside of my self.

Maybe i still need to truly figure out what this really means to me, but i have the feeling that this is the general direction my life will go into.

Are you sure about this? 

[Preety_India]

I'm not a lesbian. 

I cannot make love to a woman. 

I have to love a man and the man has to love me. 

It's just that my sexual orientation is a heterosexual straight female. 

I cannot change how I was born. 

 

[Preety_India]

If what you are saying is true, then this part is hurting me. 

Because I don't know what to do about it. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Marcel you had me worried. 

If I have to make love to you, I have to have it as a woman making love to a man. I simply cannot have it any other way. 

I know that you are going through a phase of confusion. 

In that case, I won't pressure you about anything at all. You can always take your own time.