No self. What it feels like. A definitive personal answer

[Godishere]

This is just my experience, I have felt like there are levels to the realization for no self... for myself, as ironic as that sounds. But if you have a full blown awakening to it, this is what it might feel like for you. I've personally not seen a definitive answer for this here, and it's something I was so curious about before awakening to it. What I will say, is there is no rush, the universe will guide you along your journey and when the time is right this radical truth and insight will reveal itself to you. For me personally, it was when I upped the dose (170ug), my ego completely died. 

You, your consciousness or what you imagined you were as a human will merge so much with external reality, that you literally fully awaken and understand that you are the external. It's as if for what will seem like the first time you look around the room and fully understand instantaneously you are looking at yourself. The ego will feel so entirely dead, for me it felt like wind was blowing through me but there was no one there. I literally became the breeze through the cracks in the window. The wave of the infinite ocean of Love. You will literally die, literally! And will be the most amazing experience of your entire life because you are still conscious and Aware. 

The thing that shocked me the most, was the divinity of how every moment that lead up to this moment was intelligently designed. Every single moment that lead up to that exact moment was all meant to be. Pure perfection.

At the same 'time' when you realize you have no self, you ask yourself what am I? Then the true Self which is what you have always been. Infinity, nothingness, GOD reveals itself to you. This is how it happened for me. 170ug was alot for me and personally the most I have done. And I built upto this, so I would suggest starting low(half a tab). 

Wow. What a ride life has been. Leo, Nahm, Inlightened1 and everyone else who has guided me on this journey indirectly or directly. thank you all. You were all definitely a catalyst to enlightenment. 

Namaste and love to you all.

 

 

[Godishere]

And after reading this, I just realized how fucking similar this sounds to what Leo described in his previous video. But yeah, this was exactly how it happened for me too I guess. 

What a fucking trip ??

[BipolarGrowth]

Good work. Try to focus on how ego death and no self might be different. Here’s what my first deep no self awakening was like. Live No-Self Enlightenment & Stream Entry (Intense Shadow Expression & Healing)

This is a good one if you want to go deeper into no self. The Three Doors to Enlightenment (Impermanence, Suffering & No Self)
https://youtu.be/kScZE1U6Nxl

 

[Purple Man]

6 hours ago, Godishere said:

 

You, your consciousness or what you imagined you were as a human will merge so much with external reality, that you literally fully awaken and understand that you are the external. It's as if for what will seem like the first time you look around the room and fully understand instantaneously you are looking at yourself. The ego will feel so entirely dead, for me it felt like wind was blowing through me but there was no one there. I literally became the breeze through the cracks in the window. The wave of the infinite ocean of Love. You will literally die, literally! And will be the most amazing experience of your entire life because you are still conscious and Aware. 

 

 

 

I think there is a great difference between a psychedelic-induced first insight into the dissapearence of the ego, on the one hand, and getting there without that aid, on the other. Because psychedelics might simultaneously give you a glimpse of both the dissolution of the "enjoyer" and also of the radical openness, the total  fall of artificial borders that it ends up bringing about.

But when you get there without that aid, you might only see the ego falling down, while the freedom and the enjoying of the manifest world delays for quite a long time, becauseit takes a hard adaptation from "enjoyer enjoying" to "pure enjoying". Actually it was tough for me. It is one of the things that got me going two steps forward, and one step back, and the base for the dark night of the soul for most.

[Godishere]

@Purple Man interesting. This was definitely not my first insight though! I've had many before! This was just the complete and utter dissolution of self! Honestly I find it hard to believe I would ever even come close to that level of consciousness without that aid.

Were you just meditating when you had your awakening?

[Purple Man]

25 minutes ago, Godishere said:

@Purple Man interesting. This was definitely not my first insight though! I've had many before! This was just the complete and utter dissolution of self! Honestly I find it hard to believe I would ever even come close to that level of consciousness without that aid.

Were you just meditating when you had your awakening?

Hi. Well, my case was not usual. It didn´t start with "spirituality", with sitting and practicing, and then having awakenings. It was basically the opposite: Since I was a kid I had spontaneous insights with no proper context, so they were mostly terrifying. I searched for answers for the dissapearence of a human center, for the lack of form of the awareness that seemed to be what I was, or to the scary mirage quality of existence when I stopped thinking. And then came "spirituality", which for me was finding a link and explanation for it all.  I found Nisargadatta, etc., and the rest was easier:)

[Godishere]

@Purple Man you tried psychedelics to compare the difference in consciousness? ?

[Adamq8]

A psychedelic produced ego death is radical, it is radical when Conciousness expands to the whole universe and beyond and it is not really the same during meditation, meditation is a more smooth transition in my experience but it doesn't have to, it can be very out of the blue too.

But psychedelics is pretty profound, some say meditation is sufficent, in my experience it is not really, ofcourse meditation can be sufficent but they are not really the same, both have their place,  but Conciousness on psychedelics is different imo

[Breakingthewall]

reaching the death of the ego without psychedelics, only with meditation, would be a huge source of joy, peace, intelligence. I think it is possible but the obstacles are great. basically I am the obstacle. thin the ego enough that it can dissolve. This is hard because although the dissolution of the ego is wonderful, the true joy, there are things of the ego that are satisfactory and difficult to leave, for example sex. It is true that they do not report genuine joy, the smart thing would be to put aside the ego, to flow with the truth. The other option (the easy) is be still bit egoic and do psychedelic sometimes. Really it's fool when you see that the no ego is the genuine you, full of joy, but the ego is fool and strong, and be a saint seems bored sometimes

[Purple Man]

2 hours ago, Godishere said:

@Purple Man you tried psychedelics to compare the difference in consciousness? ?

I am not into psychedelics, but being well aware of how things work without that aid, and having dozens of close and not so close accounts to compare with the sober experience, it is very clear that the first is a slow, progressive path, that does not reveal both sides of the "no self" experience soon, which leads to an intermediate period of frustration where the world has lost its appeal but you still can´t foresee radical freedom. Psychedelics, for what I see, can bringa about an immediate outbreak of that freedom:)

I am thinking seriously in taking a shortcut with psychoactives, BTW:) I´ll post if I take the step:)

[gettoefl]

beautiful @Godishere thanks for sharing this x

[gettoefl]

3 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

reaching the death of the ego without psychedelics, only with meditation, would be a huge source of joy, peace, intelligence. I think it is possible but the obstacles are great. basically I am the obstacle. thin the ego enough that it can dissolve. This is hard because although the dissolution of the ego is wonderful, the true joy, there are things of the ego that are satisfactory and difficult to leave, for example sex. It is true that they do not report genuine joy, the smart thing would be to put aside the ego, to flow with the truth. The other option (the easy) is be still bit egoic and do psychedelic sometimes. Really it's fool when you see that the no ego is the genuine you, full of joy, but the ego is fool and strong, and be a saint seems bored sometimes

good points ... god does EVERYTHING and connects not attaches, it enjoys the elixir of the moment and wants for nothing more

[Ry4n]

18 hours ago, Adamq8 said:

A psychedelic produced ego death is radical, it is radical when Conciousness expands to the whole universe and beyond and it is not really the same during meditation, meditation is a more smooth transition in my experience but it doesn't have to, it can be very out of the blue too.

But psychedelics is pretty profound, some say meditation is sufficent, in my experience it is not really, ofcourse meditation can be sufficent but they are not really the same, both have their place,  but Conciousness on psychedelics is different imo

Agreed, I see them as like a spiritual supplement; to dismiss them would be absurd, but to overly prioritise them would also be foolish. It's like 5% of the path for me, the rest being yoga, breathwork, contemplation and meditation etc. They can show you aspects of enlightenment you may have never seen, but they lack the grounded-ness and even sometimes clarity that a sober non-dual experience can provide, which transitions back into everyday life and can be applied and lived by much easier without as strong of a risk of being deluded or dissociated. Breaking out of a spiritual rut for example could be where psychedelics really shine. 

Another downside is they don't care all that much if you lack the maturity to handle these insights; you'll get them anyway, and this is a major downside. The maturity of the individual is truly what makes it or breaks it.

[Adamq8]

@Ry4n 100% agree.

they should belong in the tool box so to speak, and we can take advantage of the medicine but also do Yoga , breathwork contemplation etc.

I like the " all rounded" path, then I can use psychedelics from time to time to evolve or rather unveil the veil of "ignorance" but also include other practices and studys, so it is more like a wholeness approach ?

 

 

[Ry4n]

21 hours ago, Adamq8 said:

I like the " all rounded" path, then I can use psychedelics from time to time to evolve or rather unveil the veil of "ignorance" but also include other practices and studys, so it is more like a wholeness approach ?

Yes!!! Feels much more beneficial this way.