Strangeloop

I have Anger issues

9 posts in this topic

Especially when I hear something I don't want to hear, when people do not comply with my idealogy. When tiny things go wrong even if it's an easy fix. I get frustrated not only with my behaviour but my thoughts too. Like there shouldn't be certain thoughts inside my mind. An whoever is trying to control me or manipulate me I instantly lash out. Or if someone asks stupid questions, I get angry at that too sometimes.

Today I got angry at the person(in my mind, not in front of him) and his business because he said that I would need to wait longer (that was 2days ago) And I've got this expectation that he would postpone once again, but he didn't. And then he called me and said that my service Is done I got calm and satisfied for a short period of time. I was way calmer after that than before that.

It could be also connected to my drinking and weed smoking, because I have not smoked or drank any alchohol for a week or so and I felt pretty calm in the last days, but then I got this anger in me today at work and I don't know what to do about it.

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We all carry trauma and generational patterns and so be aware of what comes up and yet, as I'm sure you see, fighting it will generate more of it. Go for run, climb tree, go swim in a lake, and move your body to help that which has arisen to move through you.  

And then when you've cleared your head, sit by a tree and self reflect on...

 

Edited by Johnny Galt

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@Strangeloop

Maybe the anger is from a lens of getting things done correctly & in a timely fashion. If so, the relief is that there is no actuality of “done”. If something is worth deviating from this peace & love now, there will always be something else, another reason, another justification & rationalization of the anger. Next time it arises, just breathe deep in the stomach, let gravity relax every muscle, and notice the complete anarchy and hilarity of reality by and large. 

Don’t identify as the anger (“I have anger issues” ). Recognize anger as the emotion experienced. This is the opening to see you are creating it, and how, and the reaction factor can morph into a conscious response (to the thought, not the other or external). 


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@Strangeloop I would suggest dropping alcohol and fine tuning your weed strains if possible. Alcohol with weed always increases irritability for me. As does certain strains. 


Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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Anger is a new experience for me.  I haven't experienced it for a few months now - one can't feel angry if one is feeling scared, depressed, anxious, guiltful, shameful, lowly, apathy, fear, etc.

Anger requires some level of self love, self confidence.  To say - yes I am worthy of anger.  I am deserving enough, I am strong/powerful enough.

It is in a way uplifting to feel some sort of anger - in lieu of previously when I was suicidal, depressed, or hyper anxious.

When previously I felt I needed to hide in a cave, anger kinda makes it seem like - no I don't have to hide.

I am not even sure where the anger came from - maybe from seeing that I am upset at how I have handled things in the past/past decisions - not sure.

Will have to take a look at those leo videos on anger.

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when the button of insecurities pushed, the feeling of anger is generated, so remove those nasty buttons one by one, so that nobody could use you like a keyboard! 


"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up"

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