The Artist's Way

[Gianna]

@lxlichael thank you 

[SriSriJustinBieber]

On 8/19/2021 at 4:46 AM, Gianna said:

- Anger signals the end of a chapter and a triggering of a new one. 

This one is a gold nugget and could be extrapolated to any feeling that feels bad. It's basically a way to shift from feeling bad to feeling good.

"Thank you for making me feel this bad about this, universe/god/higher self/etc, because before I would just tolerate this situation/way of perceiving things and not feel anything about it, this means you deem me ready to let go and embrace a more harmonious perspective (which will also hopefully feel bad some day, etc)"

Edited August 28, 2021 by SriSriJustinBieber

[Gianna]

@SriSriJustinBieber

Right as I get angry.. haha. In this thread, @mememe has called me: misleading, clickbait, disrespectful, "doesn't really understand the book", and 'a dick', all because I am trying to take notes on something I am reading and share it with all of you? I'm so confused. Confusion gets the best of me. As does people contradicting themselves while name-calling me. 

 

Edited August 28, 2021 by Gianna

[SriSriJustinBieber]

@Gianna  hahaha this is a great opportunity !

 

[Gianna]

It's not about the constructive criticism (I welcome constructive criticism), it is about the name-calling... it's hurtful and unnecessary.  

Edited August 28, 2021 by Gianna

[Gianna]

Week 9 Recovering A Sense Of Compassion 

- becoming conscious starts with giving things the right labels. For instance, a block creator isn't lazy, they’re blocked. Procrastinating is not laziness, it’s fear. Etc. 

- as artists, grounding yourself in military discipline is dangerous. 

- the part of us that creates best is not a discipline automaton functioning from self-will with a booster of pride to back it up. 

- being an artist requires enthusiasm more than discipline. Enthusiasm is not an emotional state, it is a spiritual commitment. 

- Enthusiasm is an ongoing energy supply tapped into the flow of life itself. 

- Enthusiasm is grounded play, not work. 

- don’t create a workspace create a play space 

- our creative work is creativity itself at play in the field of time; the journey is the only destination. 

- At the heart of play is the mystery of joy. and our joy is at the far end of grief, paradoxically. 

- creative u-turns stem from fear 

- once we admit we need help the help arrives 

- the ego always wants to claim self-sufficiency 

Edited August 28, 2021 by Gianna

[Gianna]

22 minutes ago, SriSriJustinBieber said:

@Gianna  hahaha this is a great opportunity !

 

Gosh this guy is so amazing. Thank you @SriSriJustinBieber for introducing me to him. 

"if it doesn't feel good, it is not true. If it doesn't feel good, your way of seeing it is not true."  - from the video 

I guess I got so angry because @mememe is making me think I am being disrespectful in this thread when I know that I am not. So my thoughts are "I am being disrespectful" (because @mememe is putting that in my head) and the anger is trying to tell me that this is untrue. What do you think @SriSriJustinBieber?


 What @mememe is accusing me of is simply not true from my perspective, from what my intentions are. My intentions are not to 'clickbait' or 'mislead' or 'be an asshole' or be 'disrespectful'. And so it pisses me off when someone claims that it is. 

 

Edited August 28, 2021 by Gianna

[SriSriJustinBieber]

9 minutes ago, Gianna said:

Gosh this guy is so amazing. Thank you @SriSriJustinBieber for introducing me to him. 

"if it doesn't feel good, it is not true. If it doesn't feel good, your way of seeing it is not true."  - from the video 

I guess I got so angry because @mememe is making me think I am being disrespectful in this thread when I know that I am not. So my thoughts are "I am being disrespectful" (because @mememe is putting that in my head) and the anger is trying to tell me that this is untrue. What do you think @SriSriJustinBieber?


 What @mememe is accusing me of is simply not true from my perspective, from what my intentions are. My intentions are not to 'clickbait' or 'mislead' or 'be an asshole' or be 'disrespectful'. And so it pisses me off when someone claims that it is. 

 

Yes it can mean this, however my guess is that just thinking the opposite does not change how you feel at this point ? If I am right, it would point to the fact that it goes a little bit beyond this. I would suggest that it is triggering the belief that "I can be a victim of how others perceive me" In other words, they hold this power of perception over me no matter how authentic I am, no matter what my real intention are, no matter how open I am to actually taking into account constructive criticism. Therefore, the joy of just being spontaneously me is lost (or could be lost, it depends). I could never live like this, therefore I am angry (anger being the energy of change). I direct this energy on the trigger instead of using it to see clearly this that is being explained and how it's completely false. Therefore, it feels not just a little bit bad but really bad to be angry, because I have used anger as a way to further confirm the truth of the belief while simultaneously ignoring it and while simultaneously trying to change something that does not matter.

If what I said is quite right, the way out would be to think the opposite of this and see how you feel ? Try maybe: "I can never be the victim of how others perceive me, for I am freedom itself and there are no others"

[mememe]

1 hour ago, Gianna said:

@mememe thanks for ruining my thread. 

you are welcome, you bought the book, so its yours. you can do what you want with the title. don‘t get pissed about it - it‘s you who made the thread wasn‘t it.

you could be more reflective, maybe need a thread about anger? i get it some artists can be really angry, there are ways to do angry art, maybe not get offended by critiques about the art factor of art is a good start into doing art. i‘m out if you don‘t need feedback anymore.

[Gianna]

1 hour ago, mememe said:

maybe not get offended by critiques

if you think this is all you were doing, you are fooling yourself. name-calling is not critiquing, it is criticizing/contempt. I'll work on my anger, you work on your name-calling. 

[Gianna]

3 hours ago, SriSriJustinBieber said:

Yes it can mean this, however my guess is that just thinking the opposite does not change how you feel at this point ?

I actually did feel better earlier. Because I realized the anger was telling me I wasn't aligned with myself– I wasn't trusting myself and thinking my own thoughts over the thoughts of another person– of a silly misunderstanding. I mean how ridiculous is this back and forth over the title of my thread? I mean, really? It's just ridiculous and not something I want to focus on, no wonder I got angry! The anger was telling me, "Don't focus on that! Don't foccus on someone's misunderstanding of the title of your thread. Focus on the actual work you are trying/wanting to do in this thread"  

The anger was a reflection of where I was putting my focus– in someone's ridiculousness and not in the actual personal work I am trying/wanting to do here. 
 

3 hours ago, SriSriJustinBieber said:

I would suggest that it is triggering the belief that "I can be a victim of how others perceive me"

This is such great insight and I think it would be a deeper issue I would struggle with if I were the one being perceived. But the thing is, everything written in this thread is either a quote or a paraphrase from the book I am reading. It's not even my own work, my own thoughts. It's the authors. So how could I take it personally? How could I get offended? I am trying to make sense of what I am reading through note-taking. You want to critique my notes? Tell me I "don't understand?" My response is, Yes! Why do you think I am doing it? Haha. It's just silly. 


You may sense a bit of lingering resentment. This is only because (as I am writing this) I am still not focusing on myself, aligned with myself. I am still focusing on explaining myself to other people instead of doing the work. So the anger will still be there if I am still misaligned– still not putting my focus where I want it to be.  

But.. what you wrote still resonates with me in different circumstances. 

3 hours ago, SriSriJustinBieber said:

Therefore, the joy of just being spontaneously me is lost (or could be lost, it depends). I could never live like this, therefore I am angry (anger being the energy of change).

 

You have such incredible insight. 

 

3 hours ago, SriSriJustinBieber said:

I direct this energy on the trigger instead of using it to see clearly this that is being explained and how it's completely false. Therefore, it feels not just a little bit bad but really bad to be angry, because I have used anger as a way to further confirm the truth of the belief while simultaneously ignoring it and while simultaneously trying to change something that does not matter.

 

I am blown away by you. 

 

 

3 hours ago, SriSriJustinBieber said:

If what I said is quite right, the way out would be to think the opposite of this and see how you feel ? Try maybe: "I can never be the victim of how others perceive me, for I am freedom itself and there are no others"

 

thank you. 

Edited August 28, 2021 by Gianna

[SriSriJustinBieber]

20 hours ago, Gianna said:

I actually did feel better earlier. Because I realized the anger was telling me I wasn't aligned with myself– I wasn't trusting myself and thinking my own thoughts over the thoughts of another person– of a silly misunderstanding. I mean how ridiculous is this back and forth over the title of my thread? I mean, really? It's just ridiculous and not something I want to focus on, no wonder I got angry! The anger was telling me, "Don't focus on that! Don't foccus on someone's misunderstanding of the title of your thread. Focus on the actual work you are trying/wanting to do in this thread"  

The anger was a reflection of where I was putting my focus– in someone's ridiculousness and not in the actual personal work I am trying/wanting to do here. 
 

This is such great insight and I think it would be a deeper issue I would struggle with if I were the one being perceived. But the thing is, everything written in this thread is either a quote or a paraphrase from the book I am reading. It's not even my own work, my own thoughts. It's the authors. So how could I take it personally? How could I get offended? I am trying to make sense of what I am reading through note-taking. You want to critique my notes? Tell me I "don't understand?" My response is, Yes! Why do you think I am doing it? Haha. It's just silly. 


You may sense a bit of lingering resentment. This is only because (as I am writing this) I am still not focusing on myself, aligned with myself. I am still focusing on explaining myself to other people instead of doing the work. So the anger will still be there if I am still misaligned– still not putting my focus where I want it to be.  

But.. what you wrote still resonates with me in different circumstances. 

 

You have such incredible insight. 

 

 

I am blown away by you. 

 

 

 

thank you. 

Hahaha thank YOU but then if it didn't actually resonate for this particular situation, just leave it because it would not be what your higher self would want you to transform (yet haha).

20 hours ago, Gianna said:

So how could I take it personally? How could I get offended?

I see what you mean however I would say that you probably didn't take it personally, you did however take it "collectively"  What I mean by this is that you unconsciously felt that it is so unfair, that no one should ever be called this or that in the first place and even less so in such an innocent situation. And so, "hey, have some empathy! Put yourself in others shoes! What you are saying is judgemental, lacks sensitivity and shows unwillingness to understand others!", you see ? Anger as a way to demand the empathy that you yourself would never lack in similar situations. In my experience, when transformed this anger becomes detached compassion and love because it merges back with the empathy it stemmed from in the first place, but the merging back brings back home with it awareness/wisdom.

I'm not sure however of what just wrote, I was more confident in what I said yesterday. So, you tell me!

PS: If what I just said does resonate, I think you would find it interesting to read about jungian cognitive functions (and especially the Fi function), I'll send you a link when I'm on my laptop.

Edited August 29, 2021 by SriSriJustinBieber

[Gianna]

1 hour ago, SriSriJustinBieber said:

What I mean by this is that you unconsciously felt that it is so unfair, that no one should ever be called this or that in the first place and even less so in such an innocent situation.

Oh, I feel what you mean. I think you are right because although it wasn't my work/my words it was still something I was doing that was being condemned. So, at a subconscious level, this probably was the dynamic at play. 

5 hours ago, SriSriJustinBieber said:

you see ? Anger as a way to demand the empathy that you yourself would never lack in similar situations. 

ooo anger demanding empathy. You're right, I don't believe I would lack empathy towards others because I am an empath (for better or for worse) but maybe I was lacking it toward myself at that moment... 

5 hours ago, SriSriJustinBieber said:

I'm not sure however of what just wrote, I was more confident in what I said yesterday. So, you tell me!

Well, what you said yesterday was so brilliant and profound it hits on so many levels probably for everyone in existence. haha. Because we are all meant to be authentic expressions of ourselves. Yet, we are conditioned out of it. And so if we get shamed out of our authentic nature of course we are going to feel like victims of other's perceptions of us! To quote you, "I can be a victim of how others perceive me"– this is inevitably true. But your reframe was great because it is also true– "I can never be the victim of how others perceive me, for I am freedom itself and there are no others". Just brilliance. I can tell you have a very deep intuitive understanding. 

[Esilda]

@Gianna this is such a great journal! I wish I could write so eloquently as you I have to work really hard at it!

[SriSriJustinBieber]

5 hours ago, Gianna said:

ooo anger demanding empathy. You're right, I don't believe I would lack empathy towards others because I am an empath (for better or for worse) but maybe I was lacking it toward myself at that moment...

I think you may have misread this one, I didn't imply that you were lacking empathy neither towards yourself nor towards others, quite the contrary. If you lacked empathy or sensitivity, you would not be open or able to hear what I have to say. You are indeed an empath, which is a beautiful gift (:

By the way, I am curious, were you always an empath, from childhood until now, or was there a moment it became "locked" then unlocked, so to speak?

Here's the link I told you I would send: https://www.typeinmind.com/nefi Read it when you have some time, I think you may recognize yourself

6 hours ago, Gianna said:

Well, what you said yesterday was so brilliant and profound it hits on so many levels probably for everyone in existence. haha. Because we are all meant to be authentic expressions of ourselves. Yet, we are conditioned out of it. And so if we get shamed out of our authentic nature of course we are going to feel like victims of other's perceptions of us! To quote you, "I can be a victim of how others perceive me"– this is inevitably true. But your reframe was great because it is also true– "I can never be the victim of how others perceive me, for I am freedom itself and there are no others". Just brilliance. I can tell you have a very deep intuitive understanding. 

Hahahaha it's true that most of us are at least to an extent vulnerable to others' perceptions, but it doesn't have to be that way!

[Loba]

@Esilda Same here it takes a lot of time, and a bit of insight before I can write like she can.  Gianna has a way with words, I like the journal and tend to write a lot of notes when reading books/listening to lectures as well. 
 

[RickyFitts]

1 hour ago, Esilda said:

@Gianna this is such a great journal! I wish I could write so eloquently as you I have to work really hard at it!

I love the way you express yourself  

But yes, @Esilda and @Loba , Gianna does express herself beautifully  

[Esilda]

@RickyFitts You're always so sweet to me I feel so grateful and appreciative!  

@Loba I feel that its because I'm more of a spontaneous kinaesthetic person, I love to dance, I love to be chatty I just wouldn't say I'm good at translating everything into the written word. 

I am going to look at your journal more now by the way I liked the way you set everything up there, very unique structure!  

[RickyFitts]

@Esilda Easy to be sweet to a sweetheart 

[Esilda]

@RickyFitts