Emotion Journal

[Gianna]

Right now I am feeling as if my emotions are crossed– am I feeling excited or anxious? Am I feeling lonely or sad? I am going to journal my emotions here. 


Excitement or Anxiety? 
I'm not sure if I've ever felt anxiety but I've been paralyzingly excited. I wrote a thread about it because it is kind of a problem– when really good, happy, loving things happen I think I have anxiety attacks? I don't even know because I don't even know though because idk if I've experienced anxiety really. To me– and because it is when good things happen– it comes off as excitement. But it's really overwhelming. 

Click here for the full thread on excitement: 

On 7/15/2021 at 0:55 PM, Gianna said:

I feel like I get overwhelmed by excitement. I don't have a specific instance, but every time I get excited about something it kind of feels like anxiousness. Maybe it's actually anxiousness but I am positively mistaking it for excitement. haha. What do you guys do when you have this kind of feeling?

I don't want to suppress any emotions; yet, with this emotion, because it is so intense I can feel myself suppressing it a smidge. Should I just let the feeling consume me? I wonder what its triggered by– my idea right now is that it is triggered by excitement, joy, love, etc.  

 

Loneliness or Afraid? 
Yesterday, I had just got back from a long trip home. I was finally in my safe place. Except, when all of the chaos from home settled, I felt this kind of emptiness. This post-chaotic stillness made me feel lonely. Except when I dug deeper into the feeling– and I really felt it– I realized that I wasn't 'loneliness' at all. I was deeply afraid. What was I afraid of? I still don't know. But it made me realize that my 'lonely' and 'afraid' emotional wires are crossed as well. 

I wasn't afraid of being lonely because I desire to be alone. That might make me inauthentic but it doesn't make me afraid. At least, I don't think. 

Edited August 17, 2021 by Gianna

[RickyFitts]

15 hours ago, Gianna said:

I am going to journal my emotions here. 

Great idea, sounds like you've made a good start already 

Quote

I wasn't afraid of being lonely because I desire to be alone. That might make me inauthentic but it doesn't make me afraid. 

I'm not sure I follow you here, why might desiring to be alone make you inauthentic?

Edited August 18, 2021 by RickyFitts

[Gianna]

8 hours ago, RickyFitts said:

why might desiring to be alone make you inauthentic?

Some say that if you feel like you need alone time, it’s because you are not authentic when you’re around people. Because if you were your authentic self all of the time, you wouldn’t “need to be alone.” The example that was given was with animals: you don’t feel like you need alone time from your house dog or cat, so why with people? 
 

I don’t know if I 100% agree with this perspective— although I understand it. That’s why I said “might” when saying, “that might make me inauthentic…” 

[RickyFitts]

@Gianna Ahh right, gotcha - I think I've heard that line of reasoning before, not sure I completely agree with it either but I can definitely understand the logic of it.

[Gianna]

Anticipation

1. Excitement (Positive)

2. Anxiety (Negative) 

I read today that anticipation can be felt as anxiety or excitement. Maybe this is why I have been confusing the two emotions. Maybe I should regard both emotions as 'anticipation' and become aware of when I am experiencing it. Because although excitement is seen as 'good', to me it is overwhelming. Regardless, both forms of anticipation keep me in my mind and away from the present moment. I can shift this by noticing how anticipation feels in my body. 

[RickyFitts]

5 hours ago, Gianna said:

Regardless, both forms of anticipation keep me in my mind and away from the present moment. I can shift this by noticing how anticipation feels in my body. 

I think that's key, yeah  Can be easier said than done, but it gets easier with practice.

Edited August 19, 2021 by RickyFitts

[Gianna]

@RickyFitts Definitely easier said than done! But it helps to combine these two feelings into one  

[RickyFitts]

3 hours ago, Gianna said:

But it helps to combine these two feelings into one  

Interesting, I'll have to try it out!  

[Gianna]

Anger 

– anger indicates where your boundaries exist. 

– anger says, "this is a no for me and it happened anyway." 
– anytime you feel anger, think about what boundary of yours just got crossed/violated. does it need to be reassessed? 

your emotions are indicative of your boundaries.
they are a compass that directs you toward your true self. 

Edited September 9, 2021 by Gianna

[Gianna]

Resistance 

- resistance comes from meaning-making. You can make, change, or erase any meaning you want. If you created a harmful meaning in childhood, it can be re-scripted. You can reprogram your computer. You can rewire your conditioned mind. 

-  everything we've repressed has to be allowed to surface -ricky

- our feelings need to be felt in order to recognize the illusory nature of the story -RF ?

- as long as there's anything unresolved in us, that dissatisfaction's always going to be there - because we long for wholeness and unity, and whatever unresolved conflict there is in us is going to make us feel divided inside.-RF

- "What Adyashanti's suggesting, I think, is to ask yourself what's preventing you from feeling free and at peace in this moment - it's like the question posed by one Zen master: 'What, in this moment, is lacking?' Because there tends to be a feeling in humans that something's missing, a sort of root dissatisfaction that keeps us striving for more, but to be enlightened is, as much as anything, to be free of that feeling, to see that what we've been seeking all our lives is our own essential nature - what we seek is what we are! But the seeking obscures it, that's the funny thing, which is why there's so much of an emphasis in spirituality on stopping and being still. But when people do that, often what they discover initially is a lot of agitation, unrest, disquiet, etc., and it's actually that which makes us seek - we're seeking relief, but we often find it in unhealthy ways (eg alcohol, drugs, food, etc., etc.)."

Edited September 15, 2021 by Gianna

[Gianna]

Resistance to Creative Energy 

"Our resistance to our creativity is a form of self-destruction. We throw up road-blocks on our own path. Why do we do this? In order to maintain an illusion of control. Depression, like anger and anxiety, is resistance that creates dis-ease. This manifests itself as sloggishness, confusion, 'I don't know'" -Julia Cameron The Artist's Way  

The truth is that we do know. We do know, and we know that we know. Each of us has an inner dream, and inner artist, an inner child that needs to unfold is we will just have the courage to admit what it is. And the faith to trust our own admission. **** The admitting is often very difficult. A clearing affirmation can open the channel: "I know the things I know" ***** 

Edited September 15, 2021 by Gianna

[Gianna]

[Gianna]

[Gianna]

[Gianna]

Anger says, 

“That was a no for me and it happened anyway.” 

 

Insecurity says,

“I’m terrified you’ll leave me. I feel like I need you. I feel inadequate. I don't know if I can do this alone.” 

 

Blame says,

“That is not me (separation).” 

 

Forgiveness says, 

“I relate to you. I see myself in you. I do not blame you.” 

 

Powerless say,

“I feel completely out of control over what happens to me.” 

 

Criticism says,

“I feel threatened by this. I feel powerless to this. I don't trust myself around this. I have a need I am not meeting on my own.” 

Edited September 23, 2021 by Gianna

[Gianna]

Love is bringing something in (union). 
Fear is pushing something away (rejection). 
Shame is pushing yourself away (internal fragmentation). 

[Gianna]

Cover emotions

Hate: Rejection, Hurt 
Anger: Powerlessness, Entrapment, Fear 
Rage: Helplessness, Rejection, Hurt 
Sadness: Disappointment, Hurt
Desperation: Despair
Numbness: Shock, Confusion 

[Gianna]

- Suppressed emotions are contractions; energetic held-ness. 
- When you continuously suppress an emotion it becomes 'a part of you'; a part of your 'personality' (energetic vibration); when you resist an emotion you're resisting yourself, rejecting yourself.
- Rejection leads to hate. Self-rejection leads to self-hate. It is also self-abandonment. 

[Gianna]

On 10/22/2021 at 6:27 AM, aetheroar said:

The emotion is like solidity in the body...it’s connected to a dualistic mindset about the emotion which is in the form of a belief system in the mind.

On 10/22/2021 at 6:27 AM, aetheroar said:

Imagine the emotional system as a sort of AI machine that primes the body with hormones that correspond to whatever one believes the emotion means.

On 10/22/2021 at 6:27 AM, aetheroar said:

The way out is to recognize the emotions are a complete non-duality, that they are simply energy moving in its various flavors, and maintain mindfulness during the experience so that the original mindset can be overwritten.

[Gianna]

On 10/22/2021 at 6:27 AM, aetheroar said:

The core of anger is being unable to escape from something which has been labeled as unsafe for survival. It is deeply rooted in fear and operates energetically in the lower chakras. The central chakra system is quite simple to understand in terms of lower (form), higher (formless) and the heart being the perfect centerpoint for unity. It can be true that after awakening and recognizing the deathless directly, the emotional response to a stimulus related to fear can be recognized and eventually dropped away completely.