It's Happening

[sgn]

Made a thread some days ago about a feeling of energy that was stuck in my head, bouncing around.
It went away. But then other typical kundalini symptoms emerged and went away. It was trying to wake me up.
Now awareness is much more in the forefront. A bit more everyday.There's no doubt anymore. It will consume me I think.
I'm preparing myself for the worst. Fear, stress etc is already here. And I know this is just the beginning.
But much of the stress and fear is just about what is yet to come.
This identity and other identities have not even starting to disappear yet. And I'm already feeling awful. But I did before this also.
That's why I'm extra afraid. That I probably should have developed myself more before this. My ego is not that healthy. Been depressed almost all my life.
Low self-esteem, shame, anxiety, stress etc. Don't know if I'll survive all the stages that awaits. (well that's the point, lol). But I mean as a body. Scared of what I might do. What have I got myself into. Probably end up in a mental hospital in the end. Yippee.

I exercise and go for walks everyday. Try to get sunshine on me. Try to eat healthy. But have trouble eating so I look for ways to increase appetite.
I've been researching a lot of natural ways that can boost mood and how to release happy chemicals. If you have some ideas it will be appreciated.
I take some supplements: vitamin/mineral, vitamin d, omega 3, zinc. Thinking of buying some chamomile tea etc.
I focus much on allowing the feelings and thoughts to be there and face them. I try to do diaphragmatic breathing. Tried to meditate. But fear always arises.
Thinking of ways I can activate my brain. Doing creative things. Solve problems. It gets me away of the negative thinking a bit. Suggestions?
Without seeing it as a distraction of avoiding my emotions. Just get away from the monkey mind. Feels like every negative thought is true but no positive ones.
What about sex/masturbation? Does it make the dopamine levels lower AFTER then it was BEFORE the activity? So should it be avoided?
I focus some on digging in my past and forgive people and myself. Try to resolve some shit. Also working on self-esteem.
But is it too late? Can you build a healthier ego when it's gonna die?
Will antidepressants or anxiety pills etc be bad?

I noticed it felt good to write this. Don't know if it is because I know others will read it or just that I just let my thoughts out in text.
Like you see I have this victim mentally which is probably not so good.

Edited December 2, 2016 by Happiness

[Dodo]

Not implying that you need to learn meditation  , but this vid reminds us simplicity . Just breathe and see if you can give less fuel to the one qho feels all those things, since it is an illusory one. Watch more rupert spira and ekhart tolle to get calm and on point .

Those are my recommendations

Edited December 2, 2016 by Dodoster

[sgn]

@Dodoster Thank you.