Survival made me suicidal

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, Person0 said:

 

Because I haven’t realized love or infinity yet, it’s hard for me to grasp those concepts.

Pain & suffering isn’t graspable because it isn’t conceptual. That would be aversion of, away from, love… suppressing feeling & prolonging suffering with the distraction of existential rumination. It’s like a transparent smokescreen. 

1 hour ago, Person0 said:

No matter how hard I tried I still couldn’t understand, so I’m just left with my pain.

Explore the notion that the pain doesn’t belong to you, and you’re not experiencing pain per se, but suffering. 

Pain is local and present (happening right now) in a specific part of the body.

Suffering is not. Suffering is mental anguish and has to do with thoughts about yourself and the world, a past and or a future.

Not to belittle your experience, but to give an analogy for communication sake… pain is felt when you stub your toe. Suffering is focusing on it long after the pain has gone. Namely, having internalized it, identified with it, and having not yet fully expressed or transmuted it.  

1 hour ago, Person0 said:

If someone hurts you in life first hand (let’s say physically for example), it’s hard to believe that it’s a projection of my mind.

The projection of ‘your’ mind so to speak, is that what the suffering is about, isn’t happening right now, isn’t physical pain per se. The mind projects that there is a past & identifies by it, keeping the story of ‘me’ going, thus perpetuating the suffering. When this is let go, such as through daily practice, therapy, retreats, trips, etc,.. the mind begins to know & feel, is realized to be - it’s true nature of love. But 99.9% of the population will not let go, will not recognize there is no past, will not choose how they feel over being accurate / right / believing something is wrong with them / thinking the way everyone else does… and thus there seems to be widespread suffering. 

A different ‘angle’ on the same thing… 99.9% of the population apparently does not know & feel this love 24/7, because it seems incomprehensible to them that love would create or make a reality or world, such that it is so hard & difficult. Love is unconditional though, and it is none other than each finite mind which adds the lens of hard & difficult. This is suffering in and of itself, because love, you, are in actuality, unconditional. 

1 hour ago, Person0 said:

It seems all too real. 

Reality seems real, and feels very real, because you - love - is real. You, love, are so real, that references like real or unreal don’t even put a dent in it. 

1 hour ago, Person0 said:

I’ve watched a lot of Leo’s videos including the brutal nature of love. It’s extremely hard to let go and to own and transcend the harshness of the world.

When something doesn’t resonate with you, don’t believe it. All that comes out of our mouths as received by ears, myself of course included, are opinions, perspectives, etc. The truth is love, and cannot be spoken. But it’s always present, and is precisely what some thoughts & perspectives aren’t resonating with. 

1 hour ago, Person0 said:

I want to be spiritually advanced. But I have failed so far and I have given up. I have no hope anymore. I will try to continue as far as I can.

Likewise, “spiritually advanced” is conceptual, opinion. Stop with the “advancing” etc… and start letting go of what doesn’t resonate with you or serve you. Focus on what does. 

 

[Chrisd]

On 16-8-2021 at 2:13 PM, Person0 said:

 The world is a cruel place and I don’t want to live in it anymore. What should I do? 

The world is improving by the day. Take a look at these Ted talks. Perhaps we can help improve it? If you like science, from the Moral Arc by Michael Schermer: "We can trace the moral arc through science, in general, as a species, we are becoming increasingly moral." Don't be a victim, take responsibility for improving the world. Still(:)) plenty of people in dire conditions that can use our help. 

https://www.ted.com/talks/steven_pinker_is_the_world_getting_better_or_worse_a_look_at_the_numbers

https://www.ted.com/talks/steven_pinker_the_surprising_decline_in_violence#t-569588

 

Edited August 18, 2021 by Chrisd

[Person0]

@Nahm Thank you. I will try my very best to embody what you said and realize it

@Chrisd Thank you. I’ll give the TED talks a listen

43 minutes ago, Chrisd said:

Take a look at these Ted talks

[Nahm]

@Person0

Thanks, and you are welcome. I get what you mean, but still, not much to think about (embody & realize, etc). Listen to the pain, the suffering. It’s the only real guidance, and that guidance is ‘wired’ right into us. It’s leading you out of pain, out of suffering. 

And @Chrisd makes an important point. This place is not without it’s imperfections, indeed, and you have an integral place within it, in this ongoing betterment. We’re all doing our best, whatever that is for each person, it actually is their best. We need you on the team so to speak. All that pain and suffering, there’s so much wisdom that will come from it, and you will heal, and you will feel better, and your presence itself will better this place. It already is in my eye. Let go of thoughts that don’t resonate, and don’t give up. ‘This too shall pass’. You are profoundly, infinitely, loved, and my hope for you is that you let enough go that you truly feel this love. I firmly believe you will. 

When you have some quiet, and ten minutes, give these a read, under the ‘The Essence of Being’ section.  And let it in, as they say… ‘out with the bullshit, in with the good shit’. (Life’s bullshit I mean, not ‘your’ bullshit  ) 

[Person0]

@Nahm Thank you very much. I think I kind of understand what you mean. I’ll give them a read now.

I am grateful for all your help. Thank you.