Venting

[Raptorsin7]

2 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

I'm trying to, but since my personality sucks big time I doubt that will happen. And even if it would, it wouldn't help me with getting a gf irl.

It could help you in real life, because you will have a source of love from the game. Remember how you said you felt warm from the interaction?

You can use that relationship as a springboard of love, and it will bleed out into other parts of your life.

2 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

I'm trying to, but since my personality sucks big time I doubt that will happen

Why do you believe your personality sucks?

[Blackhawk]

7 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

It could help you in real life, because you will have a source of love from the game. Remember how you said you felt warm from the interaction?

You can use that relationship as a springboard of love, and it will bleed out into other parts of your life.

Why do you believe your personality sucks?

Okay..

I know that my personality sucks because girls never want me, not even sex. Females despise me, they reject me, they ignore me, they ditch me, they hurt me, they yell at me.   All that while they absolutely love other guys.  To say that it hurts is a understatement. It makes me suicidal. I'm such a failed loser mistake, completely unloveable and unlikeable.

The biggest reason why my personality sucks is that I don't talk or write much. Everyone thinks that I can change that, that I can start talking more, but I can't.

People are so stupid when they think like this: "I can talk a lot, so that means you can too, if you just try."

Btw that thing applies to everything else too. For example: "I could get a gf despite my shyness, that means you can too". Etc.   It's a brain dead way of thinking. They assume that everyone are identical and have the same potential.

Edited November 22, 2021 by Blackhawk

[DecemberFlower]

@Blackhawk Where do you work man? 

Kinda offtopic I know but I m curious.. 

[Blackhawk]

25 minutes ago, DecemberFlower said:

@Blackhawk Where do you work man? 

Kinda offtopic I know but I m curious.. 

I load trucks with food+drive truck a bit.

[DecemberFlower]

@Blackhawk I see.. So regular job it is. I was asking also cause I thought maybe searching for you life purpose would help you ease your life however i understand that its hard to find a job you love and fits your purpose. Were you searching for it by any chance? 

[Blackhawk]

@DecemberFlower No I wasn't. 

[Javfly33]

11 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

I'm trying to, but since my personality sucks big time I doubt that will happen. And even if it would, it wouldn't help me with getting a gf irl.

Why you assume your personality is that?

Being a "nice guy" is not a personality, its a disease/bad learned behavioral pattern. And it can be healed.

Also, have you ever tried things like phenibut, etc? They can't be used as a coping mechanism but they can help revealing to yourself that you don't have a "shitty personaltiy" but rather some parts of your mind doesn't function correctly. 

Wish you luck and as always my dms are open if sometime you want to chat

[Blackhawk]

2 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Why you assume your personality is that?

Being a "nice guy" is not a personality, its a disease/bad learned behavioral pattern. And it can be healed.

Also, have you ever tried things like phenibut, etc? They can't be used as a coping mechanism but they can help revealing to yourself that you don't have a "shitty personaltiy" but rather some parts of your mind doesn't function correctly. 

Wish you luck and as always my dms are open if sometime you want to chat

It has nothing to do with "nice guy".

I'm not assuming. The facts speak for themselves.

Supplements and medications doesn't do anything.  But alcohol works ok.

Edited November 22, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Raptorsin7]

11 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

Okay..

I know that my personality sucks because girls never want me, not even sex. Females despise me, they reject me, they ignore me, they ditch me, they hurt me, they yell at me.   All that while they absolutely love other guys.  To say that it hurts is a understatement. It makes me suicidal. I'm such a failed loser mistake, completely unloveable and unlikeable.

The biggest reason why my personality sucks is that I don't talk or write much. Everyone thinks that I can change that, that I can start talking more, but I can't.

People are so stupid when they think like this: "I can talk a lot, so that means you can too, if you just try."

Btw that thing applies to everything else too. For example: "I could get a gf despite my shyness, that means you can too". Etc.   It's a brain dead way of thinking. They assume that everyone are identical and have the same potential.

Did you always have this personality? What was your childhood like?

Do you ever remember a time in your life where you did think this about yourself?

[Blackhawk]

@Raptorsin7 Yes I did. I'm born as a quiet person. And then people come and say "you can talk more if you just try" or "just stop with your victim mindset" or "if you work on yourself".

When I was a kid I was happily unaware of that I'm broken since birth and will therefore always be alone. So no I didn't think these things as a kid.

[Raptorsin7]

Just now, Blackhawk said:

Yes I did. I'm born as a quiet person. And then people come and say "you can talk more if you just try" or "just stop with your victim mindset" or "if you work on yourself".

What would it take for you to believe you could change your personality. I think it's possible you can change your personality

Just now, Blackhawk said:

When I was a kid I was happily unaware of that I'm broken since birth and will therefore always be alone. So no I didn't think these things as a kid.

When did you realize this "truth" do you remember when you started to see life as not fun and good

[Blackhawk]

59 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

What would it take for you to believe you could change your personality. I think it's possible you can change your personality

I don't know.

1 hour ago, Raptorsin7 said:

When did you realize this "truth" do you remember when you started to see life as not fun and good

I don't remember.

[Raptorsin7]

1 minute ago, Blackhawk said:

I don't know.

I don't remember.

Reflect on it for a few days. See if you get some answers

[Guest EmptyVase]

@Blackhawk

Do you find any truth to this statement? Can you see a relation between the statement below and how your life is unfolding?

"Thoughts multiply and manifest."

[Blackhawk]

10 minutes ago, EmptyVase said:

@Blackhawk

Do you find any truth to this statement? Can you see a relation between the statement below and how your life is unfolding?

"Thoughts multiply and manifest."

No.

[Guest EmptyVase]

@Blackhawk

Want me to point it out to you?

[Blackhawk]

39 minutes ago, EmptyVase said:

@Blackhawk

Want me to point it out to you?

Sure.

[Blackhawk]

Almost no one wants to live in this fucking existence.

My mom is suicidal, my dad is alcoholic and probably don't want to live, I don't want to live either, most people I talk to online are unhappy or suicidal.

Maybe consciousness is a very unfortunate side effect of unintelligent reality. Something that we all would be better off without.

Edited November 23, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Blackhawk]

And I have to go to work and suffer so that I can continue to suffer haha.

[Guest EmptyVase]

@Blackhawk

Okidoki, thanks for the opportunity.

On 16.8.2021 at 11:20 AM, Blackhawk said:

but if you want to give advice then you can do that. But it wont help me.

"Thoughts multiply and manifest."

Do you recognize how the thought above contributes to the experience you're having right now?

If you think it won't help you, it won't help you.

On 16.8.2021 at 11:20 AM, Blackhawk said:

I'm the biggest loser ever.

"Thoughts multiply and manifest."

Do you recognize how the thought above contributes to the experience you're having right now?

If you think you're the biggest loser ever, you're the biggest loser ever (from your POV, not mine).

On 23.8.2021 at 10:35 PM, Blackhawk said:

Everyone are better than me, everyone. It's almost weird how it's possible to be the biggest loser on the entire planet. I guess that's the only thing I'm good at.

"Thoughts multiply and manifest."

Do you recognize how the thought above contributes to the experience you're having right now?

If you think everyone is better than you, then that will be your experience.

On 24.8.2021 at 1:18 AM, Blackhawk said:

There's no career which I would like.

"Thoughts multiply and manifest."

Do you recognize how the thought above contributes to the experience you're having right now?

If you think that there is no career which you would like.. well. You know by now.

On 24.8.2021 at 1:18 AM, Blackhawk said:

I hate everything.

Thoughts are super powerful, no? Nuclear reactors, really. Either you use it to give electricity to a whole thriving city, or you nuke that shit. The hardest part is to accept that it's on you. But that's also where the magic lies. You choose which thoughts to focus on.

Imagine a rock rolling down a hill. That rock has momentum going, and it won't stop rolling for some time. In the same way, your thoughts have momentum, too. You establish momentum through focussing on certain thoughts, and right now your predicament is that you exclusively choose to focus on thoughts which feel really bad to you. If you allow yourself to slowly focus on thoughts which feel better to you, a new momentum establishes. A new rock gets pushed down the hill. The other rock might still be rolling, but there's a new one. By deliberately choosing to focus on thoughts which feel better to you, which don't drag you down, you start to forget about the old rock. Your focus is only on the new rock. By the time your attention is completely on the new rock, you've already forgotten about the old one. And then, one day, when you check back at the old rock, you will see that it has stopped rolling. And you will also see that there's not just one rock, and not just one hill - there is an abundance of rocks and hills. Hell, you don't even have the time to push 'em all down. Push those down which make you feel the greatest joy - and even of that kind there are countless rocks.

But if you keep insisting on pushing down the same old rock, drag it back up the hill, push it down, drag it back up the hill, push it down.. you will be very very tired of it at some point. Not really fun. And always the same old story with the same old rock. Perhaps it's time to change that.