Venting

[Blackhawk]

Every day, especially every weekend I get a strong feeling that this shit must stop, that it can't go on anymore, not a single day more.  But it does, it keeps on going, day after day, on and on it goes.

People say that time goes faster as they get older, for me it goes slower. Every day of being alive is one day too much.

[Blackhawk]

 

This is accurate for me:

[Blackhawk]

The only possible explanation for how I can still be alive is that I actually did committ suicide, but after I did it I simply got teleported into a different universe inside the multiverse where I didn't committ suicide. It's called quantum immortality.

 

[something_else]

18 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

 

This is accurate for me:

Out of curiosity, what motivates you to keep posting on this forum?

I'm not suggesting you stop, I'm just curious what your internal experience of that is

And I know nothing about you, but it seems like you hate everyone. I would start trying to unwire that. People are awful, selfish, stupid, and entirely focused on their own lives, yes. But why does that deserve hatred? That's the natural way for humans to be, and anything else requires a lot of work on the part of the human. Most people by default will have some positive traits mixed in with all that junk. It's a bit of a trope/cliche, but the critical flaws in humans are what make their few positive traits so admirable.

Having said all of this, I think wishy washy ideas, spirituality etc. are not what you need. It doesn't sound like relationships are what you need either. It sounds like you need to explore the world. Perhaps even literally. You need to find things that excite you. Are you really so sure nothing can excite you? How much of the world have you really seen and experienced? Travel, go to weird countries, do weird things, try weird food, do activities you've never done before. Do things that spike your adrenaline. Explore. Feel the freedom of life. Be impulsive. Experience. Drop your expectations. Take action without thinking too much. That's how you cure the feeling of being trapped.

Edited September 27, 2021 by something_else

[Blackhawk]

22 minutes ago, something_else said:

Out of curiosity, what motivates you to keep posting on this forum?

I'm not suggesting you stop, I'm just curious what your internal experience of that is

I'm venting because I'm completely alone.

23 minutes ago, something_else said:

Travel, go to weird countries, do weird things, try weird food, do activities you've never done before. Do things that spike your adrenaline. Explore. Feel the freedom of life. Be impulsive. Experience.

Yawn.

[something_else]

23 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

Yawn.

"Nothing I've ever done excites me"

"How much have you done"

"Yawn"

Dude, you have literally experienced less than half of a half of a half of a half of a half of a half of a percent of what the world has to offer and you've concluded that nothing could possibly excite you. You must see how silly that is

I don't know if compassion or hardness is what you need, probably some of both. My honest impression is just that you need to get out of your head and try as many new things as you possibly can

But what do I know, I don't know you

[Blackhawk]

@something_else Only women excite me. It's aaalll about women. But can't have that. So..

Edited September 27, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Roy]

On 9/19/2021 at 2:43 PM, Blackhawk said:

I don't know.. It feels like people are trying to brainwash me into believing in a false belief that I could get a partner if I just work hard at improving myself etc. It's not a nice feeling. I don't want to be stupid enough to have false hopes.

It's not brainwashing, or a belief, or wishful thinking. It's literally as simple as lifting weights. How do you think you could bench press 100 pounds?

You would start bench pressing what you can comfortably say 65 pounds. You would do that for a while, consistently. Then add another 5 pounds, and do that for a while, and so on. All the while keeping the vision and realizing eventually you will reach 100 pounds. At the start you might say it's "impossible" because you can't do it currently. But if we all just went about living life based on what seemed possible now and convenient, nothing would get done or accomplished.

You don't have a right to bitch, or make excuses, or call it "stupid" when the road map and the work is right there in front of you. If you want to bitch, do it while you're going through the work and exhausted. That's when you can call it stupid.

[something_else]

5 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

@something_else Only women excite me. It's aaalll about women. But can't have that. So..

How do you know? Have you tried everything else there is to try in the entire universe?

Having other things to do in life besides women is basically a requirement to start attracting women...

Even if all you can think about is women, force yourself to start doing other things, new things. Your mind will tell you none of it is worthwhile but your mind is full of shit

[Blackhawk]

3 minutes ago, something_else said:

How do you know? Have you tried everything else there is to try in the entire universe?

Having other things to do in life besides women is basically a requirement to start attracting women...

Even if all you can think about is women, force yourself to start doing other things, new things. Your mind will tell you none of it is worthwhile but your mind is full of shit

The world is the most boring place ever. God is stupid, anyone could have created something better.

I'm not at all interested in traveling to other countries, I don't give a fuck about food, there's no interesting activities, etc.

[something_else]

13 minutes ago, something_else said:

Your mind will tell you none of it is worthwhile but your mind is full of shit

How do you know none of these things excite you if you've never tried them. You're telling me you've been to every city in the world, tried every food, built up skill in every activity and none of it excited you?

[Blackhawk]

13 minutes ago, something_else said:

How do you know none of these things excite you if you've never tried them. You're telling me you've been to every city in the world, tried every food, built up skill in every activity and none of it excited you?

Good for you that you like all those things, but I don't. I'm not going to waste all my time and energy on exploring everything in the world just to prove you that I don't like what you like.

[something_else]

3 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

Good for you that you like all those things, but I don't. I'm not going to waste all my time and energy on exploring everything in the world just to prove you that I don't like what you like.

How do you know you don't like them?

[Blackhawk]

Just now, something_else said:

How do you know you don't like them?

How do you know there isn't a poop sausage somewhere in the world which is really beautiful and you want to shoot a 4K video of? Have you really seen all poop sausages in the world? If not, you can't be sure whether such a poop sausage exists or not. You must now go and see every poop sausage in the world.

[something_else]

17 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

How do you know there isn't a poop sausage somewhere in the world which is really beautiful and you want to shoot a 4K video of? Have you really seen all poop sausages in the world? If not, you can't be sure whether such a poop sausage exists or not. You must now go and see every poop sausage in the world.

Sure this sounds like a real zinger, but it doesn't answer the question I asked you. 

I asked how do you know that no travel, food or activities in the entire world excite you? How have you come to the conclusion that all of these things are a poop sausage in your mind?

Edited September 28, 2021 by something_else

[Blackhawk]

2 minutes ago, something_else said:

Sure this sounds like a real zinger, but it doesn't answer the question I asked you. 

I asked how do you know that no travel, food or activities in the entire world excite you? How have you come to the conclusion that all of these things are a poop sausage in your mind?

This isn't going anywhere since you don't respect my likes and dislikes, and you think that everyone are like you. You would only get happy if I'm a copy of you.

[Blackhawk]

@something_else Please leave me alone, spare me your pathetic smartass comments.

[something_else]

2 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

This isn't going anywhere since you don't respect my likes and dislikes, and you think that everyone are like you. You would only get happy if I'm a copy of you.

Notice that I'm pretty much just asking you to explain your feelings and opinions to me. I'm not respecting or disrespecting, I'm just asking

Reread my last 4 messages again. All I have done is ask you "how do you know for sure that nothing in the entire world excites you" and you've found 4+ ways of dodging answering that specific question directly and now you're accusing me of trying to be a smartass with you

I made an observation that you are assuming everything in the world is garbage, I'm sure that seems like total, complete, utter, reality in your mind and I have total compassion for whatever shit you've been through on your life that's caused you to feel that way. Life can be absolutely fucking brutal

I'm just asking this question repeatedly to you in the hopes that it may open up your mind to the possibility that there could be something you have never seen or experienced in the world before for which you feel a deep passion, or even just mild excitement. Until you have deeply explored what the world has to offer, you can't know whether such a thing exists or not. And wouldn't you rather take a chance and find out?

It's difficult to know whether to be compassionate or hard with someone, I might have been a bit on the hard side and I'm sorry for that. I hope you can grasp or at least be open the point I'm trying to make to you though

[Blackhawk]

@something_else I don't give a fuck about this world, I hate everything here, I don't want to live, which part of 

did you not understand?

"Do I look like someone who has something to do here on earth?"   — Emil M. Cioran

Edited September 28, 2021 by Blackhawk

[something_else]

I really do wish you the best. PM me if you ever want to talk about anything