Venting

[Blackhawk]

1 hour ago, Ananta said:

I didn't say that. I wish you good luck in finding what you want, without having to do any work on yourself. That's what I meant.

No amount of work on myself can make me loveable.

[Ananta]

7 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

No amount of work on myself can make me loveable.

[Blackhawk]

@Ananta And because some random John W. Gardner guy said it it's true? Interesting.

He's just another fool.

When I can see my reality and the truth then it's just victim mindset and self-pity?

You know what separates someone from reality most?   Wishful thinking and emotional bias. You always believe any false crap that makes you feel good. You close your eyes to the harsh truth/reality.

This entire forum is all about that, all the shit about "you are God", "everything is Love", etc.

Edited December 18, 2021 by Blackhawk

[silene]

On 17/12/2021 at 0:45 AM, Blackhawk said:

Yes that's what I mean with not having a good brain.

All problems are neurological.

No nervous system= no problems.

Our entire psyche is emergent from physical stuff. So psychological= physical. Same thing.

No I'm not looking for a diagnosis.

"'women dislike me', 'my brain sucks', 'I'm never good enough'"   are all facts.

I guess your mind's made up and the suffering you're going through isn't making you question your mindset. But I've been thinking about your  quote above. Looks like you're a materialist right? Well we know that materialism isn't popular in this forum, however I'm also going to dissent. I think as partial truths go, it's got a lot going for it.

If your mind with all its problems is basically emergent from a physical structure, made up of billions of neural networks, why isn't it possible to rewire those pathways and create a better experience? Sure it's a lot harder with us adults than with babies and young children, (which is what therapy for kids is all about), but I believe with work and time some progress is possible. Our brains still have some neuro-plasticity  which can be manipulated and new neural pathways created which 'feel better' than the old pathways. Maybe also to behave differently in social situations. 

Maybe this is what's going on with all the intense spiritual practice, and why it takes years or decades to become liberated, and why some folks reckon that psychedelics (chemicals) provide a short cut. 

Just some thoughts for consideration, not saying what you should do. 

Edited December 18, 2021 by silene

[Blackhawk]

@silene I don't know if I'm a materialist or what I am. I know nothing.

[Blackhawk]

Alcohol gives me social super powers. I can make anyone like me when I have taken alcohol.

(I'm mostly talking about online now.)

Edited December 18, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Blackhawk]

It totally makes me understand (and believe in it) when Leo says that state is everything.

[silene]

3 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

@silene I don't know if I'm a materialist or what I am. I know nothing.

It's a good place to start. I try and return to not-knowing every so often so I don't get stuck in a rut 

[something_else]

3 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

Alcohol gives me social super powers. I can make anyone like me when I have taken alcohol.

(I'm mostly talking about online now.)

Then use alcohol. It's not a bad tool. I'm the same. Just don't get yourself addicted

[Ananta]

1 hour ago, something_else said:

Then use alcohol. It's not a bad tool. I'm the same. Just don't get yourself addicted

Do you realized how much dumb shit ppl do when loaded?? I do, binge drinker here?‍♀️. Sober 6 months now. I won't drink again. Problem with substances you use as a "tool" is that you don't know your going to get addicted, until your addicted, then its too late. My mother was a drunk.? 

 

[Ananta]

10 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

You always believe any false crap that makes you feel good. You close your eyes to the harsh truth/reality.

This entire forum is all about that, all the shit about "you are God", "everything is Love", etc.

 Oh ok, well this is a spiritual/self-help forum. Why are you here?

Look, your a nice guy, that's why ppl try to help you, but you don't want to help yourself.

I get that you've been dealt a problem that's tough to overcome, but guess what, you're not the only one with problems. When ppl have problems they typically try to fix them. If they can't be fixed, then all that you can do is accept the situation. If your at that stage, if not, keep trying.

If you've given up and your going to accept that you won't be able to get a partner, then let go of the judgment surrounding it or else it's not true acceptance. No more judging yourself as sucking/worthless. Your just accepting that for reasons beyond your control having a GF is not going to happen for you.

Your desire for a GF is so strong that it's making you miserable. If you're positivity convinced that that will never happen (as you say you are), then let go of that desire. Accept its not possible for you. 

I've already said my real opinion about your situation, but it's not my opinion that matters...it's yours and if your done and want peace, then accept your situation as it is, all else is madness!

[Blackhawk]

@Ananta Can't let go of the desire. I'm not a robot who can remove desires at will. I don't think you are either.

[Ananta]

1 minute ago, Blackhawk said:

@Ananta Can't let go of the desire. I'm not a robot who can remove desires at will. I don't think you are either.

Accepting that the desire can't be fulfilled will help with that.

When you catch yourself thinking about the desire redirect your attention elsewhere. That's how ppl (myself included) stop things like smoking, drinking, etc.

Redirect the attention elsewhere, don't ruminate on the desire and over time it dissipates.

[Blackhawk]

@Ananta Forget it.

Get rid of your whole family and all friends, and no more sexual or romantic contact ever again. Then let's see how happy you would be and how easily you could get rid of the desire. I give it 6 months, and then you would kill yourself.

[Windappreciator]

@Blackhawk ok but what do you expect them to say then?

which do you think is the better position, the one which is telling a suicidal teenager to jump of the bridge because "all is hopeless or the one which is trying to safe ?

Edited December 19, 2021 by Windappreciator

[Ananta]

3 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

@Ananta Forget it.

Get rid of your whole family and all friends, and no more sexual or romantic contact ever again. Then let's see how happy you would be and how easily you could get rid of the desire. I give it 6 months, and then you would kill yourself.

This thread has 11 pages of you saying over and over how much you suck, how no women wants you, how you are unlovable by women, how worthless you are.

I think I've presented a good solution to your seemingly hopeless problem...accept it. Stop fighting it. Focus your life on other things like- friends and family.

Unless, you don't think it's so hopeless after all?

 

[Blackhawk]

6 hours ago, Ananta said:

This thread has 11 pages of you saying over and over how much you suck, how no women wants you, how you are unlovable by women, how worthless you are.

I think I've presented a good solution to your seemingly hopeless problem...accept it. Stop fighting it. Focus your life on other things like- friends and family.

Unless, you don't think it's so hopeless after all?

There is no solution to my hopeless problem. The only solution would be suicide, but it's not yet time for that, I don't want to hurt my parents, and I'm also still too chicken to kill myself.

I don't want friends, and I hate my family. I don't think anyone would like my parents. My mom is completely crazy with her conspiracy theories etc. which she is constantly trying to convince me of.

[silene]

11 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

There is no solution to my hopeless problem.

But dude you already told us a perfectly good solution to your problem yourself: 

On 18/12/2021 at 7:10 PM, Blackhawk said:

I know nothing.

Try doubting your beliefs, they're not showing you a way forward out of this hell. Throw them away and return to not knowing why you are unhappy.  Go back to basics and work it all out from square one again. Get a second opinion from your doctor. Start to trust other good people. Re-read all the threads you've started in the last few years from a point of view of not already knowing or pre-judging. 

Man, you obviously can't deal with this all by yourself. Get whatever help is going. 

Edited December 19, 2021 by silene

[Blackhawk]

Hahahah another girl who crushed my heart in SL (Second Life).

Fuck all you females. Just.. fuck you. I'm completely fucking dead. Maybe I should put that snare around my neck now.

Go laughing into death.

Edited December 19, 2021 by Blackhawk

[mandyjw]

@Blackhawk Second life? We're just avatars here too. Neither male nor female, just appearances. No body loves you. A body can't love you. You don't need a female. No body LOVES you. You are loved, so completely utterly loved right here and now, you don't need no body to do it for you. 

Call someone, a family member or call a hotline if you need too. Or breathe from your stomach, or just really feel that direct sensation of that shitty awful rejected feeling you're feeling. Really, really feel it. What's it made of? What's the substance of it? 

No body loves you. We're beyond all that. 

Sending you love from no where for no body, cause you already are it. You feel it, don't you?