Self Absorption Paradox -- Anyone Else Experiencing?

[Mrkvn8]

The contradictory association whereby higher levels of self-awareness are simultaneously associated with higher levels of psychological distress and with psychological well-being.

11 months of Personal Development, and I feel bi-polar as fuck. 

Some days I'm centered and happiest ever been, others I feel immense emptiness and restlessness -- never knew these emotions existed until a couple months ago.

Advice?

[Kevin Dunlop]

This is normal. You got used to livivg from a trained perspective that is highly complex and took all your life to put together. You have a built in defense mechanisms that tries to make you stay the same and follow the ¨proven advice¨you have come to believe consciously and subconsciously. Your goals and methods, your interpretations and definitions are not made to be questioned let alone completely reformed. This feels like a rewireing process that causes confusion, intense feelings and the like. In my opinion most people need a big overhaul in their mind because of poor training. You have to get rid of alot of disfunctional tools but this leaves you with an empty toolbox for a while until you find those new tools that work... to fill in that empty gap. Keep searching and learning. Dont be afraid to let go of the old paradigm there is always a better one waiting if you find it soon youll advance but confusion is the unlearning process that happens first. Once we realize what has happened to us, and what it means, we should be sad we should mourn and be real about it, then we move on and use the experiences we had for what they are, a temporary support system that got us this far... but now is outdated and being replaced

[Mrkvn8]

Wow, man. I really appreciate the thoughtful and descriptive reply. It's really cool to see someone take their time to help someone out like that. 

This rewiring process is hell, for sure, but now I have more clarity.

Thanks a lot!

 

[Mrkvn8]

@Kevin Dunlop

[Guest username]

I am going through the same thing. Transformation tends to be an ugly process, but it leads to something greater.

[Prabhaker]

On 12/1/2016 at 7:32 AM, Mrkvn8 said:

I feel immense emptiness and restlessness -- never knew these emotions existed until a couple months ago.

Do some active meditation like walking meditatively. Walk in a relaxed way, eat in a relaxed way, talk, listen in a relaxed way. Slow down every process. Don't be in a hurry and don't be in haste. Move as if all eternity is available to you. 

[Leo Gura]

@Mrkvn8 Look at this process like a psycho-spiritual colonic.

If you're going to get your colon cleaned out, don't expect the stuff coming out to look pretty

[Ayla]

52 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Mrkvn8 Look at this process like a psycho-spiritual colonic.

If you're going to get your colon cleaned out, don't expect the stuff coming out to look pretty

I might quote you on that piece of wisdom sometimes @Leo Gura lol 

[Kevin Dunlop]

On 1/12/2016 at 3:54 AM, Mrkvn8 said:

Wow, man. I really appreciate the thoughtful and descriptive reply. It's really cool to see someone take their time to help someone out like that. 

This rewiring process is hell, for sure, but now I have more clarity.

Thanks a lot!

 

I think it is literally a restructuring of the nurons in the brain that disconnect and reconnect in a different way when the old way they have been working doesnt make sense any more for your new life. Your brain is all put together in a way that you got used to and all makes sense, until you find out it is too limited and wont allow you to advance. Small changes here have been normal, and feel fine but the brain is not good at having alot of its patterns taken apart quickly. If it doesnt have time to put new ones back together, it cant avoid the uncertian feelings of having to many parts disconnected. I have seen some extreme cases, but have never seen this process go wrong. We call this healing, use sacred types of practices to honour the process, it is done with the highest intensions, with protection, self honesty, believe in yourself that you are unblocking the social limits that keep you down and you need to do this to heal and advance. This is another aspect of the process that you can use to your advantage.  

[Mrkvn8]

@Prabhaker will keep this in mind. Thank you??

[Mrkvn8]

@Kevin Dunlop  Yeah, the brain is trying to maintain homeostasis. It's hard to remember that when you're going through it. 

Thanks again, brother

[Mrkvn8]

@Leo Gura hahaha well, that was spot on. Thanks a lot.

If I just increased to 1 hr meditation a day (1year now), when will the intensity of the purification decrease?

[Leo Gura]

@Mrkvn8 Why do you want it to decrease? You should be asking me how to increase it.

The more shit you purge from your system, the better.

Learn to enjoy the purification aspect.

[Mrkvn8]

Hahaha thanks for the paradigm shift??

[Mrkvn8]

@Leo Gura  

[Arman]

Yeah it's rough. The highs get higher and the lows get lower. Fortunately your baseline increases with it and life only throws as much as you can handle. Though by design it often feels like more than we can handle, lol. 

[Time Traveler]

On 2016.12.4. at 6:15 AM, Prabhaker said:

 Don't be in a hurry and don't be in haste. Move as if all eternity is available to you. 

I agree to you about WHAT,

but I don't know HOW

Haste and hurry had dominated my since I remember myself.

When meditating, I always have this feeling in background: "Why are you sitting here as a fool, when there are so many things to do ?"

[Prabhaker]

9 minutes ago, Time Traveler said:

but I don't know HOW

Keep your lower abdomen relaxed. While walking, the attention should go to the contact of each foot as it touches the ground. If other things arise, stop paying attention to the feet, notice what else too your attention and then return to the feet.

[Nahm]

@Mrkvn8 it's more likely what you're eating.

[Time Traveler]

15 minutes ago, Prabhaker said:

Keep your lower abdomen relaxed. 

Thanks, Ill try it.

15 minutes ago, Prabhaker said:

 While walking, the attention should go to the contact of each foot as it touches the ground. If other things arise, stop paying attention to the feet, notice what else too your attention and then return to the feet.

This one's easy, especially when walking barefooted on snow