I feel since i have a job i have overall worse health and happiness

[Javfly33]

Everybody always congratulame because i have an stable full time job. especially here in my country getting a stable full time job aint that easy.

Most people Who Dont have a job for a long time go depressed or some shit like that.

However since i started a full time job (1 year ago) i feel my overall stress levels have gone through the roof, especially during the work hours. Also i feel overall with way way less energy to work on my self actualization goals on my free time.

It hasnt helped i Guess that i went to a bigger city where commute takes way more time than in my natal city and also housing is ridiculously expensive so i have to share flat 

Recently i took holidays and came back 1 month to my mothers House and natal town. Shit i felt so much fucking Better. All the time and energy in the world to Create What i really want, no waking Up with stress/palpitations, not a city where you are surrounded constantly by cars, cozy hometown. Etc.

 

However its true also that i went to a big city to purposely work on my self actualization goals and Career dreams. But the problem is i feel its so damn difficult to accomplish anything because i might have overall anxiety disorder and going 8 hours a day in a job where i am anxious is fucking me Up my health and leaving me ungrounded and in stress Mode the rest of the day (because i am already thinking that the Next day i have to go to work). 

But withouth job i cant live here and accomplish What i want. So i just have to push through. But its so difficult. Sometimes i wonder if should go back to my hometown. But everybody says that a man must be self suficient and all that shit to grow. Idk i feel everything overwhelms me. The loneliness. The job. The stress. Ugh. Can i get advice?

Edited August 14, 2021 by Javfly33

[Roy]

How are your boundaries with your job life and your personal life? Do they blend in any particular way? Are you friends with any of your co-workers, and talking to them after work about work?

[Javfly33]

23 minutes ago, Roy said:

How are your boundaries with your job life and your personal life? Do they blend in any particular way? Are you friends with any of your co-workers, and talking to them after work about work?

Nope, i moved here relatively not long ago so i have only 2 Friends and they are not related with work at all

[Bob Seeker]

I can relate.

I recently got a job working concrete construction in hot sun 8.5hour day + 2 hours commuting.

I would say I feel a noticeable decrease in my overall well-being. ?

my hope is trying to live cheap enough to save money so I can have the chance to maybe quit for a while and see if I can make it in a better way. Maybe if I go to Mexico I can live off my savings longer to develop a skill or a business.

It’s tough to figure this stuff out.

i like teaching people things so maybe I will get a job as a tutor and work on myself in my free time but that could be a dead end.

maybe I will take courses to get a tech job, but no guarantees I will get hired.

Business seems like a foggy notion to me, but maybe I will stumble on some ideas.

maybe I will go back to school on a loan and pursue a more serious career track.

maybe something will open up, opportunity wise.

I want to consult the mushrooms (small dose)

I keep the idea of monk hood/yoga devotee as an “if all else fails” option. Another bail out is living off gov, faking injuries. Or joining a commune, or living homeless but happy(maybe?)?

 

Edited August 14, 2021 by Bob Seeker

[Bob Seeker]

I also have no friends, and need to pretend to be Catholic to keep the peace in my family?

 

Edited August 15, 2021 by Bob Seeker

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

Um yeah, welcome to the adult world? 

The first couple of jobs you're going to do in your life will almost inevitably suck donkey balls. It takes some time and experimentation to find something which more or less suits you and doesn't drive you fucking nuts... what can I say, I am 40 years old now and am still working on it, so you better take a deep breath and cultivate some good old fashioned Buddhist equanimity 'cause this is probably going to be a long and bumpy journey, my friend! (But of course, you can make it shorter by not being a lazy and procrastinating piece of poo like yours truly, lol)

Edited August 15, 2021 by Bazooka Jesus

[PepperBlossoms]

It can feel similarly worse not having a job as well but in different ways.

The pressure is then on what next, what the heck do I do, how do I survive, should I switch to a new career, how are my finances, will anyone hire me, etc.  Instead of - how do I make it through the day, I am so bored/stressed, I hate working here, the company is toxic, etc.

Yes work can be very overwhelming.  The 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week; the deadlines; the not knowing how to do things; the having too many tasks to do and not enough time; the getting bored of the tasks; the seeing that the work is pointless and will only be a temporary benefit to (only human) society at the expense of the rest of nature; the pressure to perform constantly all day everyday - and yet we are so disconnected from the rest of the world that we are destroying it - - our working all day - is it really helping then if we are destroying it? - why work then if our work does more bad than good?

a doctor saves people all day but those people destroy the earth; an engineer/construction creates homes for humans at the expense of habitat/animals/bugs; a teacher educates students who then go on to get jobs, cars, and homes to destroy the planet (but some may do things that don't do that)

everything gets destroyed anyway

[Bob Seeker]

My mushroom trip has suggested that I was like a Jaguar in the bush, sneaking up behind myself.

and now I am charging like a muscle car.

Keep your spirits up, my friend. There is intelligence in your design.

[Leo Gura]

Welcome to wage slavery.

When you don't have much creative skill to offer the world, you become the world's slave.

[Windappreciator]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Welcome to wage slavery.

When you don't have much creative skill to offer the world, you become the world's slave.

?

[Bob Seeker]

21 minutes ago, Windappreciator said:

?

The term is good for walking people up to their situation, but no judgment should be cast.

[Windappreciator]

39 minutes ago, Bob Seeker said:

The term is good for walking people up to their situation, but no judgment should be cast.

Nooh. It towards the reality of the situation not the term.

[Javfly33]

On 15/8/2021 at 9:25 PM, Leo Gura said:

Welcome to wage slavery.

When you don't have much creative skill to offer the world, you become the world's slave.

I have to offer Leo, i just find very difficult to find the free time, energy and Focus to materialize that Creative skill.

 

[mememe]

@Javfly33 can`t you self-actualize on your job? i mean what is going to work if not the self - so your life is pointing out to you already the problematic, to optimize the situation you are in at this speciffic moment. why is self actualization only about focusing on what you want and not about the skills which you need to make your situation better? somehow if we are in a mode where everything is running the way we want it to be it`s easy to forget how we created it that way - and the moment we face difficulties it is easy to forget that we can focus on what the situation is pointing towards. although figuring out what is the most important aspect to work on is sometimes the blind spot.

in your case it sounds like you must overcome anxiety especially regarding your job.

home and past seems always to have been better when you have the distance to it. it`s an illusion trying to avoid what the now is demanding and where it originally was constructed.

i used to focus on fear based mechanisms and tried to replace them with positive habits when i was starting out with spirituality - before i got distracted by all this deeper knowledge shit. truth is, without balance you can`t walk a tightrope. ofc fear has a function walking a tightrope and so has security/self esteem.

Edited August 21, 2021 by mememe

[Michal__]

Take some modafinil and work on your business after you come back from work...

It won't be easy (10 - 16 hours of work daily), but it will be worth it...

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

I have to offer Leo, i just find very difficult to find the free time, energy and Focus to materialize that Creative skill.

That's how slavery works.

You think slaves were not creative and didn't have dreams? But they had to work the cotton fields all day until they had no more day left to do anything else.

See, the real solution was to plan your life from age 5 to 20 in such a way that you when you left your house you never had to enter wage slavery. Why isn't this something you foresaw and forestalled when you were 10 years old? A good life requires planning. You can't just wing it and expect to have nice things.

What you're not appreciating is that just to materialize your creative skill is a huge luxury and privilege. You will have to work your ass off for years just to reach the point where you can begin to work your ass off to do something creatively meaningful. Creativity is no small thing.

You gotta learn to appreciate how serious this thing called life is. The majority of mankind slave away HARD for 50 years, and then they die. That's life for something like 80% of the people on this planet. Brutal, grinding, endless labor with very little pay, freedom, nor respect. If you want something more than that, you'll have to be extra clever and resourceful to get it.

Life is just a lot harder than people assume.

[gettoefl]

On 15/08/2021 at 0:55 AM, Bob Seeker said:

I also have no friends, and need to pretend to be Catholic to keep the peace in my family?

 

can relate my brother was me year or so ago ... stick to your guns and good things are in store

[Windappreciator]

@Leo Gura It's demoralizing in way people are not far away from a better position but they still keep tripping each other by not communicating sincerely their desires even though most know at the back of their head it doesn't do them good.

It makes no sense.

Edited August 21, 2021 by Windappreciator

[bliss54]

I hope somebody starts a commune similar to what Osho had going, that looked so good

Also the idea of buddhist monasterys is nice, but there are a lot of rules they have which makes it less than ideal

Or an ashram type situation in India or elsewhere

Even if I have enough money, which I almost do. Do I really want to be in society surrounded by unconscious people? not sure

[gettoefl]

49 minutes ago, bliss54 said:

I hope somebody starts a commune similar to what Osho had going, that looked so good

Also the idea of buddhist monasterys is nice, but there are a lot of rules they have which makes it less than ideal

Or an ashram type situation in India or elsewhere

Even if I have enough money, which I almost do. Do I really want to be in society surrounded by unconscious people? not sure

agree and approve ... in my case my consciousness is at the point i know i came here for me so other people are icing on the cake, i know too that love is everything but it takes place on my terms and in my time ... i am led to everything rather than me having to lead the way