5 meo, the door opened

[Breakingthewall]

I wanted to share, yesterday I did 5meo, 12 mg, interesting, i realized the nothing, and that i was locking the nothing. today I did it again. 15 mg, in 3 out of 5. I am meditating for more or less 2 hours, clean moments, others not, realizations that everything that torments me about familiar things, etc., are patterns in me, I perceive myself almost on the verge of letting go of everything, But there is a barrier, I. I doubt. Maybe this is not the time, I am not clean. I think: obviously, not ever. Well, let's go with 5 mg ... I do it and almost everything dissolves, violence, weird, unpleasant, I'm nothing, empty ... ufff ...I sit up and take the other pipe. I do. White screen. Zero. Reality is zero, nothing, I hit bottom and bottom is ... nothing, dead. I recover a little, I have already been through this 20 times. First was really bad. I think, well, this again, how can it be useful to me? This is not reality, it is just a drug and it can help me, I will do it again, today is not the day ... but, what does it matter, we have already seen the flat and empty dead background that I am, let's see it another time. Another 5 (the 3 strokes in 10 min I think) well, I think, it no longer affects so hard....

opened the door, suddenly, soft. Unfathomable, that is, that I am. Let's sing his praises, hallelujah. We have hit the jackpot. There is nothing to fear, alone in my house I say yes yes, beyond explanation, absolute, God. etc etc etc blah blah blah blah

 I share this not so that you all tell me, as in an evangelical church, welcome brother. It is to communicate something: 5 meo. Gift from God. Accept the gift. Will this realization change anything? I would say yes. is it real or the result of a drug? real without any doubt. is it possible to open that door without psychedelics? I'm sure it is, but very difficult, very rare, the barrier that you are is very well placed. If you are trying to open the door, honestly, without doubt, this is the way, but if not, probably it wouldn't work. Of course, now, 1 hour later, I'm the same. It is only a remember. It's really positive, but it doesn't means I'm enlightened. Only a glimpse, but....much more than anything i expected. Not like, enlightenment is simple, it's realize that you are nothing. No...the world God exist for this

[Purple Man]

Can you please give more details? In those two experiences, what made the "No thing" in the first one and the "Absolute" in the second so different?  Was in the second any self-awareness or self/reflection that was not in the first?

[Adamq8]

Congrats ?

[James12345]

35 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

, I'm nothing, empty

Good, good?

[Breakingthewall]

@Adamq8 Thank you! I remember that you were testing 5 meo and having experiences of emptiness 

@Purple Man

I have had this experience many times with 5meo: the mind stops, I disappear, there is nothing, not even me. reality is emptiness, flat, without differentiation but without life. there is a very strong sense of death, of not being. yesterday I had the realization that I was the one who somehow closed the void. today, it happened that it suddenly gained depth, it opened. I merged with it, it opened up and had no limit, and I was that. it was nothing but it was full, the feeling of life was enormous, total. the certainty of something that always was, joy, enlightenment, hallelujah. It cannot be described and is blurred. for the first time now my mind is at peace. I have to go back there. 

@James12345

 Nothing, but something, being, call it how you want. There is not just a zero. It's obvious. as you say, look at your hand. 

Edited August 13, 2021 by Breakingthewall

[Purple Man]

48 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

 

@Purple Man

I have had this experience many times with 5meo: the mind stops, I disappear, there is nothing, not even me. reality is emptiness, flat, without differentiation but without life. there is a very strong sense of death, of not being. yesterday I had the realization that I was the one who somehow closed the void. today, it happened that it suddenly gained depth, it opened. I merged with it, it opened up and had no limit, and I was that. it was nothing but it was full, the feeling of life was enormous, total. the certainty of something that always was, joy, enlightenment, hallelujah. It cannot be described and is blurred. for the first time now my mind is at peace. I have to go back there. 

 

Thank you for the detailed response.

I have to say that I struggle with the possibility of the second experience (life, fullness, joy...) being deeper than the first (nothingness, void). Please, don´t take this as a stupid verbal challenge. You were the one experiencing both, and the one who knows the flavour of those insights, but in my meditative experiences everything that has a taste of life, of light, of "somethingness", like in your second trip, is always a product of an aware space where that fullness happens, and this aware void is prior to any experience. So I ask you: if you felt that the Absolute was the fullness, shouldn´t it be also present in the first experience?

Again, I am asking this with respect and with the desire to know better about what you experienced. I am fascinated with 5MeO experiences. It´s just that its insights not always coincide with mine, and I want to get to the bottom of it all.

Edited August 13, 2021 by Purple Man

[Adamq8]

@Purple Man The Absolute is fullness and voidness.

I dont understand why we try to always seperate the two, it is inconsistent. 

It is possibility and actuality and the one would not be without the other.

What the good is and what the good does is one and the same

[noticeom]

@Purple Man  I'm also very fascinated by this. Keep in mind that you can always miss something in an awakening. You can experience the same thing again and again and it gets clearer and deeper.

[James12345]

59 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Nothing, but something, being, call it how you want. There is not just a zero. It's obvious. as you say, look at your hand

You aint open the door yet

[James12345]

Calling nothing a something ??‍♂️Because of the thoughts, thats why psychedelics dont work for enlightenment.

[Breakingthewall]

@Purple Man the emptiness feels somewhat limited. it is being limited by a fraction of the self that refuses to merge. the experience of fullness is when the self dissolves into emptiness. its obviousness as something true it is nothing that you can not even remotely imagine or think. it is expansion, nothing and everything and all that. It is something that without something as drastic and annihilating as 5 meo seems impossible for a normal person to achieve. your mind has to disintegrate and disappear, and only emptiness remains. when only emptiness remains, there is still something that resists. if that resistance holds, there is a feeling of limited emptiness. you touch the ground. the present is nothing, but nothing "closed", if that yields, it opens. the word that comes to mind afterwards is unfathomable. And that's you, that boundless empty depth is life, and the feeling is, welcome home, this is, of course

Edited August 13, 2021 by Breakingthewall

[Purple Man]

57 minutes ago, noticeom said:

@Purple Man Keep in mind that you can always miss something in an awakening. 

Oh, yes you can...Awakenings come in degrees for most of us, and thank God. Too much too soon blows your stability.

[Purple Man]

4 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

  the present is nothing, but nothing "closed", if that yields, it opens. the word that comes to mind afterwards is unfathomable. And that's you, that boundless empty depth is life, and the feeling is, welcome home

I think this sums it all up. Thanks again for the very interesting report.