Neurotic Pride

[ill]

How to get rid of the neurotic pride and tyranny of shoulds and idealized self image that come with it? For those who are not familliar with the topic: http://plaza.ufl.edu/bjparis/ikhs/horney/fadiman/04_major3.html

Chapters entitled: The Idealized Image and the Search for Glory and The Pride System

Have you got any advice?

Have a good day.

 

Edited November 30, 2016 by ill

[Donald]

Shadow work , in other words be fucking honest with yourself. The idealistic image you have of yourself , the things that you don't like about yourself and the should-s you keep repeating. Let go of it , forget about Leo about enlightenment, being good and so on . If you behave narcissistically in a given situation, just observe , don't judge just let it go .You and your desires are one , they are not separate. 

[ill]

I'll try to elaborate a bit on the topic to make it more clear so maybe you will have a better insight. From my own experience I can say that I made up that ideal self image to gain acceptance which I hadn't obtained as a child. Now there's a conflict - I cannot give up that image which creates a lot of suffering, unless I feel safe enough to do so. I've tried many times so far and it's like a constant battle. It always comes back. The reason for the existence of this ideal self lies in the need of acceptance. I assume that by following your advice and being consciouss of my neurosis, I would get it from the inside. Thanks to that, I wouldn't need external acceptance = wouldn't need the ideal self. Am I right? 

[Donald]

It's one thought versus another thought !!! If you pay more attention, you will notice that when you beat yourself up by saying "I should be a good person "  that is just a thought . It's like mind fighting itself. 

"I want to be a good person "

Why? 

"Because I like to feel accepted "

Why? 

And on and on ... be honest with yourself