Emotional numbness

[SLuxy]

Any advice on how to overcome emotional numbness?

I've tried so many therapies. I feel so frustrated. I'll keep on trying, but it gets hard sometimes.

[King Merk]

Feel into the frustration. 

I say that with touch in cheek but with a serious tone at the same time. If you want to overcome numbness then you must FEEL MORE.

Stop leaning away from emotions and start leaning into them. That includes frustration, boredom, sadness, regret, pain, etc. Of course feel into the “positive” emotions as well but your issue as a numb person if your avoidance of doing that hard emotional labor….

But I empathize because I used to be in your shoes.

Awareness is the first step and the fact that you’re here & aware of your situation is a sign that you’re healing.

Keep doing you bro.

Everything will work out as it’s meant to. 

P.S.

Start telling people you love them.

Probably been a while since you did that huh?  

[RickyFitts]

Yeah, I can relate too, numbness was something I really struggled with a few years back when I was having a hard time (I think the numbness was a sort of self-protective measure in my case, because I was experiencing so much inner turmoil that my nervous system would become overwhelmed). I had to learn to become much more conscious in my body, to notice exactly what was going on in terms of where I was feeling muscle tension, heaviness, energetic blockages, etc.; breathing meditation was probably most helpful for me personally, I'd just sit down to meditate with the intention of simply allowing my body to breathe, and it would then gradually relax and release what it had been holding on to (which, as it turned out, was a lot!). There does need to be a willingness to allow the arising of whatever had been previously repressed, and that can feel very uncomfortable and painful at times.

[Iksander]

@SLuxy Be the emotional numbness without fighting against it or trying to change it, then the light of your awareness will shine on it

Edited August 13, 2021 by Iksander

[hamedsf]

emotion is a feminine trait, so it's not good for us men, unless you would want to be a Bollywood actor singing and simping for women with two hands crossed on your heart! 

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, hamedsf said:

emotion is a feminine trait, so it's not good for us men, unless you would want to be a Bollywood actor singing and simping for women with two hands crossed on your heart! 

Emotion is a human thing. It's what underlies all of our motivations. 

That would be like saying "Breathing is a female thing. So men shouldn't do it."

[Emerald]

13 hours ago, SLuxy said:

Any advice on how to overcome emotional numbness?

I've tried so many therapies. I feel so frustrated. I'll keep on trying, but it gets hard sometimes.

Get more in touch with the body. Emotions arise as sensations in the body. So, emotional numbness can come about because we're too up in our heads and not connecting to the rest of the body.

[SLuxy]

@Emerald Thank you.

Any techniques you'd recommend?

I am currently doing PMR (progressive muscle relaxation), QiGong, and TRE. Am just starting out in those though. What are your thoughts on those?

[SLuxy]

@King Merk Thank you.

I don't love anyone. Or, at least I can't feel that love for anyone.

But, maybe your saying to say it in spite of that? I used to say it when people said it to me to appease, but I felt the same. Sometimes a sense of disgust came up too.

[SLuxy]

@RickyFitts Thank you.

That's encouraging to hear.

I've had the same recent experience with breath meditation. I felt a sense of relaxation come over me.

However, I was worried it might not help me release. It sounds like that worry may have been unfounded.

I think I'll continue with it ;).

 

Also, in terms of, 'There does need to be a willingness to allow the arising of whatever had been previously repressed, and that can feel very uncomfortable and painful at times' how do you will yourself to allow that? Is it just a simple matter of making a conscious choice in the moment?

 

[hamedsf]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

Emotion is a human thing. It's what underlies all of our motivations. 

That would be like saying "Breathing is a female thing. So men shouldn't do it."

let's see how many days it would take me to die without emotions!

[SLuxy]

@hamedsf Thank you.

I guess that means I want to simp ;).

[Emerald]

10 minutes ago, hamedsf said:

let's see how many days it would take me to die without emotions!

Without emotions, there is nothing that tells you not to do the things that are harmful to yourself and others.

So, if you truly had ZERO emotions at all, you probably wouldn't last very long. 

It would feel just the same to you to walk up to a bear as to walk into a phone booth. 

[Tudo]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

Without emotions, there is nothing that tells you not to do the things that are harmful to yourself and others.

So, if you truly had ZERO emotions at all, you probably wouldn't last very long. 

It would feel just the same to you to walk up to a bear as to walk into a phone booth. 

lol

[hamedsf]

@Tudo at the right place, at the right time!

[Gesundheit2]

Obviously, you're not emotionally numb to begin with, because you can feel frustrated. And most likely, you're feeling a range of similar emotions on a regular basis. Otherwise, you wouldn't be reaching the boiling point (frustration), let alone asking questions and actively seeking change.

You're trying to change the frequency of your emotional state, which will allow you to feel a different range of emotions than you're currently experiencing. And that's probably reasonable, because the frequency you're currently at doesn't feel great.

The ultimate answer is lifestyle changes. If you can't change your inner state, change your outer state, and then it will reflect back on the inner and transform you from the inside.

Start experimenting with your lifestyle. Add a few things, remove a few things, and more importantly, keep a record or a journal where you write down all the changes you notice and whether you should or shouldn't keep going down a certain path. It might seem like a very simple concept, but it really is life-changing. Sometimes, the most powerful results come from the simplest action steps.

Generally, and on that note, you want to stay away from the modern lifestyle as much as possible. Return back to nature, or at least include nature in your daily routine. Keep the air fresh wherever you are; no AC, but fresh air, preferably directly from natural sources . Get sun exposure. Go on a retreat or a vacation. Meet new people. Spend more time with family. Challenge your comfort zone. Limit your internet usage, especially YouTube and other toxic sites. Exercise, preferably go and run outside. Start a meditation habit if you don't have already. Change your diet; if you're vegan, go in the opposite direction, and vice-versa.

I'd also give up on any therapies and instead just trust in the wisdom of my mind/body. Whatever you're currently feeling is what's best for you in the current settings. I wouldn't try to force change if it isn't coming smoothly.

Hope you'll soon find what you're looking for.

[RickyFitts]

6 hours ago, SLuxy said:

I've had the same recent experience with breath meditation. I felt a sense of relaxation come over me.

However, I was worried it might not help me release. It sounds like that worry may have been unfounded.

I think I'll continue with it

Good stuff, I think that's a good idea  Consistency of practice is obviously very important, you get out of it what you put in. 

6 hours ago, SLuxy said:

Also, in terms of, 'There does need to be a willingness to allow the arising of whatever had been previously repressed, and that can feel very uncomfortable and painful at times' how do you will yourself to allow that? Is it just a simple matter of making a conscious choice in the moment?

It's the willingness to relax as much as anything, because when certain emotions and sensations do start to arise, your body's liable to instinctively go into resistance - that's just how the majority of us tend to be conditioned to behave, we're basically taught from a young age by the people around us to repress our emotions, and it becomes habitual and unconscious after a while. It's just a question of becoming conscious of that inner resistance, noticing when your body becomes tight and tense and allowing the resistance to release, and then allowing your body to breathe freely.

[Vzdoh]

I was quite emotionally numb about 7-8 years ago, it led to thoughts about suicide and other fun stuff. Don't let it slide! Do something about it!

Therapy and counseling work to go through the reasons why you numb yourself. What protection mechanism is at play here?

In my case, I numbed myself to feel less pain, but with total numbness, you can't feel joy either.

A breakthrough I made with releasing my emotions fully was at Hoffman Process. Never was the same person again. Highly recommend it.

[Virgo]

You don't have numbness you just feeling how you feeling. And emotions come and go and sometimes they overwhelm you. Do you ever get horny? Well that's an emotion. That's a strong one feel that. When you feel love feel that, compassion etc...your not numb your just feeling how you feeling.

[mamad]

@SLuxy I feel you. reading Disown Self and six pillar of Self Esteem (chapter Self-Acceptance) from Nathaniel Branden and Thinking, Fast and Slow from Daniel Kahneman could help you.

Edited August 14, 2021 by mamad