Can’t let go of my failed dream and open up for a new chapter

[Huegeleisen]

(Would like to get feedback/tips)
In the past I’ve realised that I’m reallly attached to the identity of getting a professional soccer player in the future although it’s not really my life purpose anymore (since 3 years, I’m always having phases where I think it’s still my life purpose and push towards that belief but not doing anything). (16 years old)

Why did I quit 3 years ago?

Cause I couldn’t really handle the pressure in the games. But I have difficulties in accepting this lose and moving on.

And right now I’m a bit too old to get there even if I work really really hard and sacrifice anything else. Also realising that I wouldn’t like the lifestyle of a soccer pro. The problem: I still want that goal to be achieved (emotionally). And now there’s a conflict cause one part of me still wants to achieve this goal but the other part wants to move on. 
(But it wants to continue soccer as a hobby).

Other problem: If I drop the identities of getting a soccer player, nothing else will be left. Feeling empty without it cause it’s one of the few things I’m good at (the other is maths but my parents forced me to do it as I was a child, so feeling really negative while doing it.) 

My plans now:

1.Discovering new passions (starting with programming cause it’s a class at school so I wanted to try it out a few months, then the next thing)

2. Dropping addictions (stealing a lot of time while removing attention form emotional pain)

Thanks a lot for reading❤️ 

 

[aurum]

2 hours ago, Huegeleisen said:

The problem: I still want that goal to be achieved (emotionally). And now there’s a conflict cause one part of me still wants to achieve this goal but the other part wants to move on

Why do you still want to be a pro soccer player?

What are you expecting will happen if you achieve that?

[PepperBlossoms]

That's a cool goal.

Theoretically if you did want to become a professional soccer player, can you see what the steps would be - like a list of what needs to happen in order to make that goal happen?

It looks like your present identity is the same as mine - a searcher looking for a new life purpose/identity to cling on to

best of wishes

[Huegeleisen]

22 hours ago, aurum said:

Why do you still want to be a pro soccer player?

The biggest reason is that I’d had to face that I loose big parts of my identity without this goal. (Fear?)Life would feel so empty cause right now I’m not focused on other meaningful things in life. Also soccer is one of my passions so it would be really cool to do it professional (but on the other side I don’t like the lifestyle.

22 hours ago, aurum said:

What are you expecting will happen if you achieve that?

I’m expecting that I could feel really really good and free because I’m doing my passion and I’d had the money to invest in coachings, seminars and online courses to solve everything else. 
But also I’m expecting it to feel every day lots of love cause I’m playing a lot of soccer every week.

21 hours ago, PepperBlossoms said:

like a list of what needs to happen in order to make that goal happen?

I know what to do to get into the league under the professional leagues (in Germany the fourth,I don’t write it out cause it would take much place) but after that I don’t know but seems that you have to have luck for it to happen to get professional from there.

@aurum @PepperBlossoms Thanks for your answers!