Masturbation problem

[Shiva99]

I'm having a problem with keeping masturbation healthy. I can never do it just once. I always have to go for a second or third time. I can go weeks or months on end without relapsing, but when i do, i always relapse bad. I've been trying to get this straight for years, and results are definitely showing, especially since i left porn behind in like forever, but just sole masturbation is still having too much impact on my life to this day. 

Complete abstinence doesn't work for me, as i just become very horny and agitated over time. The benefits of not doing it don't outweigh the negatives in the long run, because my mind get's so obsessed with woman and sex in the end.

[caspex]

honestly having the same problem. I see the that when I don't do it, after about 2 days, I am able to be much more productive and have much more control over my life mentally. But at the same time, more and more sexual urges build up. It's even worse when I define a time like "every saturday", because in the anticipation, I end up relapsing halfway through anyways. part of me hopes i magically figure out a way to transmute this build up of sexual energy

[Shiva99]

9 minutes ago, Swarnim said:

honestly having the same problem. I see the that when I don't do it, after about 2 days, I am able to be much more productive and have much more control over my life mentally. But at the same time, more and more sexual urges build up. It's even worse when I define a time like "every saturday", because in the anticipation, I end up relapsing halfway through anyways. part of me hopes i magically figure out a way to transmute this build up of sexual energy

2 days is kinda lucky man. If i overdo it, and i mean really over do it,  i'm due for like 7-10 days to feel decent again. 

[Farnaby]

@Shiva99 have you tried an intuitive approach where you masturbate whenever you feel the need, without beating up on yourself and not using masturbation to escape something (which is what usually leads to binging)?

Think of it like eating. If you restrict your diet and set up too many rules, you tend to become neurotic about it, feel guilty when you don't comply to your rules and it usually backfires.

If you eat when you're hungry, avoid having too much junk food around and focus on living mindfully in general, you're less likely to binge eat IME. 

[Bando]

@Shiva99 why are you trying to fight it so much thats your body showing you its working, I used to have limiting beliefs with masturbation because of all these eople saying its "bad" or "fogs your mind" but it doesn't at all. Just kick back enjoy it and stop judging yourself and move on. Theres going to be a time where even getting one erection is going to seem like a win so enjoy it and relax 

[aurum]

@Shiva99 @Swarnim

I think there's a couple of tiers of solutions:

Tier 1: Shut up, grit your teeth and just discipline yourself to not do it anymore. The problem with this one of course is that it doesn't solve root cause, requires a lot of willpower and can be neurotic.

Tier 2: Embrace it. I'd stay from porn, but you can turn masturbation into a conscious activity. Set a time to do it, slow it down, and treat it almost like a meditation where you're focusing on every sensation. You could also look up solo Tantric activities.

Tier 3: Get a partner. This is the best option IMO and is how most people deal with this. But it may not be in the cards for you at the moment.

[Shiva99]

I've been contemplating a bit, and suprisingly enough i came to the conclusion that i might have been using Nofap and the whole shebang as a coping mechanism for my fears and insecurities. I'm going to contemplate this further and i might start a journal on it.

[hamedsf]

that energy should be evacuated in other ways like physical sport or doin' something aggressive. 

if you don't, it might be trapped and try to find a way out!

 

Edited August 15, 2021 by hamedsf