Ambivalent feelings towards partner

[Peelingthelayers]

Hello forum. I just read a few other posts and some of the answers were very helpful and on point. I hope to receive a little guidance here.

I have been seeing/dating this girl for a little over half a year now, and sometimes i enjoy our relationship, but there always seems to be some part of me that is not enjoying what is going on. When i see her, i always get struck (create) with a very ambivalent feeling, and i always start off our meetings feeling a little bit uneasy. Sometimes when we are together i feel like we are out of sync where i dont enjoy, and i end out analyzing and being inside my own head, feeling annoyed. That is my problem sometimes, that she annoys me a little bit, that i feel like she is kind of cringe, and i can see that i hesitate to show her to people in my life. I can see i even avoid us walking popular places where we could meet people i know. 

That was the negative part, she is always really great sometimes, and we have a bodily/sexual connection which i didnt feel with anyone else before. She is aware and i can talk to her about everything, and i think our relationship has potential of being really good, i just have some problems with accepting her or something, so that is my question:

 

How can i be more accepting of her, and enjoy her even through the things that she does that i currently dont like. And how can i maybe enjoy myself more when i am with her. 

 

I am not sure if that makes sense, but i hope someone might see something in what i am writing.

Edited August 9, 2021 by Peelingthelayers

[Farnaby]

@Peelingthelayers hi! You can't force yourself to like something you don't like about another person. 

What you can do is inspect the feelings that arise when she acts that way. Do you feel ashamed? Embarassed? Angry? Afraid? Does this way of behaving remind you of some experience in your life that may not be completely digested/processed? 

It's pretty normal not to like everything about your partner. I don't believe it's possible to feel unconditional love towards your partner 24/7.

You have to decide if those things are deal breakers or things that you can use for your own development and to deepen the connection with her. 

[Peelingthelayers]

@Farnaby Right. I will try to see what behind the feelings that arise. Thank you for your reply :-)