Is Pick Up Worth It?

[The Monk]

Hey guys,

Me and my actualising friend wanted to attend some events together in order to allow ourselves to grow into something that is greater than what we currently are, I was thinking of going to events, such as Toastmasters to improve my ability to speak within public in front of crowds, to eliminate my fear of public speaking. I was also thinking of going a pick up community, would this be wise? Thinking about it, I think not. As, even though it may satisfy me momentarily it will result in m ego growing creating greater amounts of suffering for myself and those around me, as I may become addicted to sex or trying to get girls, which may be a distraction from what's important, which also may be psychologically backfiring. 

Toastmasters I believe is a definite good event to go to, pick on the other hand is something I'm not so sure about. 

What do you guys think of pick up? And what events do you attend or would like to attend in the foreseeable future? 

Thanks for your contribution. 

[Bronsoval]

See Leo's rant against the pickup community video.  You only have to watch the first five minutes and you will find your answer ?

[Wind]

It is and it's not depending on how you define it. When I approach a stranger girl on the street, because I thought she is attractive, I do it because I want to meet her, get to know her, to see if we resonate, and if we do, then get her number and see where it takes us. I don't see it as a pickup, I see it as a simply meeting women I find attractive, dating, learning to show my vulnerability, so we could maybe build meaningful relationship or at least have a romantic experience together. It's just word "pick up" has this negative connotation of "manipulating women" or "getting sex" to it. Look at it broadly. What Leo talks in his Rant Against Pick Up Communities is not that "pick up" is evil or toxic, but the dogmatic way you go about and selfish intentions you have when doing "pick up" is what toxic about it.

For example, RSD is great, but it makes this mistake of implying attitudes. RSD gives tools, but some of those guys who use those tools start to become identified with those tools and other people from RSD. Where a guy should „find himself“ and then approach a situation from his perspective, but not from other guys perspective.

If you want to learn how to be better with women in general, yes go and talk with women, learn about male vs female psychology, but just watch your intentions.- are you trying to impress her or are you trying to connect with her? Are you faking your behavior or are you showing your vulnerability?

Read "Models" by Mark Manson and then you will have your answer on how to go about it.

[Joel3102]

See Leo's response on a thread which has a similar question to yours:

Quote

f you're THAT behind the curve and you suck with women, then I would recommend pick up or some other form of dating material. Just do it responsibly and understand the limitations.

There is no way to get better at dating without actually dating people.

And it helps to learn the basics of how women think and what they are attracted to in a guy, because it's very counter-intuitive at first. If you've never been around women, then you will have a lot of wrong ideas about what they want.

My rant video against pickup was mostly aimed at HARDCORE players and pickup fanatics, not newbies who just want a girlfriend. Like I said in the video, I personally got A LOT out of pickup and I did it fairly responsibly.