Can you get into a healthy relationship even if you dont feel your best?

[soos_mite_ah]

Is it possible to get into a healthy fulfilling relationship even if your life isnt where you want it to be and you still have issues with anxiety and depression granted that you're good with being vigilant of red flags, a good judge of character, and have good boundaries? 

[Tudo]

@soos_mite_ah I believe so.

[RickyFitts]

As long as both parties are committed to being open, vulnerable, supportive, and understanding with each other, I think it's perfectly possible. I think a relationship with the right person can be very healing, just so long as you both go into it with your eyes open and take full responsibility for your internal environment.

[aurum]

2 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

Is it possible to get into a healthy fulfilling relationship even if your life isnt where you want it to be and you still have issues with anxiety and depression granted that you're good with being vigilant of red flags, a good judge of character, and have good boundaries? 

There is probably some amount of “clean up” we can expect to do in our own lives if we want to attract a great relationship.

At the same time, I sometimes feel like we place too much emphasis on this in the spiritual community. The reality is we are not supposed to be in relationships with perfect beings. They are supposed to have flaws, and part of being in a relationship is working that out.

In fact, relationships are one of the primary tools that we can use to grow and heal. They challenge us and can help us find a sense of belonging.

The world is going to be a very lonely place if everyone has unrealistic expectations for themselves and others. Many people want to cut and run at the first sign of any red flag. That could be a healthy expression of boundaries, but sometimes it’s an obsession with independence.

Given that most of us on this forum have probably done a lot of work on ourselves, I think you’re likely in the clear.

[Roy]

Life is too short to wait around for perfect conditions.

[RickyFitts]

@aurum Excellent post. Even relationships that become very dysfunctional and end in a lot of heartache can facilitate lots of growth, as I've found in my own experience, they can expose your core issues so that they can be dealt with.

[Vzdoh]

We can't grow on our own completely. We need mirrors. Our partners are our best mirrors. If u r not in a good place, most likely u will attract the same - to mirror to you the reasons for why u r not in a good place and better understand it. Don't expect a healthy and happy relationship though. It will only happen after u feel content with yourself and love yourself. Then a healthy partner will arrive. 

[hamedsf]

get into a relationship. don't focus on it for being healthy. you only focus on providing excitement only in a mutual condition. 

[LastThursday]

Some things you can't know beforehand, you just have to try them. Relationships are like this. They're dynamic entities so there's a certain amount of leeway to readjust as you go along. You can account for yourself and do all the things that lead to a healthy relationship, even if you have further work to do on yourself. You will naturally develop and change anyway and so does the relationship in response. You can't account for your partner though, and it's possible they are unable to have a healthy relationship with you because of their level of development. It's a risk that has to be taken.

[Arellano]

If you love each other, then it would be healthier relation ever