She broke up with me, and feel terrible

[kras]

Its over, my first relationship with a girl just finished.

Even though it was only 3 months its really hard for me because i am 25 yo and put so much effort to find a girlfriend. 

I wasn’t needy or anything like that, but she said that i’ve never opened up and she has never get to know me good.

She wanted serious long term relationship, but maybe i wasnt good enough.

And the hardest part to accept it that i screwed it.

My self esteem is down to zero right now.

 

Edited August 7, 2021 by kras

[Tudo]

Maybe she never was interested in you that much, and she pointed out that you supposedly never opened up as an excuse.

But I feel sorry for you bro, I hope you will feel better soon.

Edited August 7, 2021 by Tudo

[Thought Art]

Thinking long term, you will have many partners and leaning experiences. 

[kras]

33 minutes ago, Tudo said:

Maybe she never was interested in you that much, and she pointed out that you supposedly never opened up as an excuse.

But I feel sorry for you bro, I hope you will feel better soon.

This is what i was thinking

i hope that is the reason, not what she  told me

[Ilan]

This is good pain. Let it wash over you, think through it. Let it make you flourish. The good new is that if you managed to have a girlfriend. It means you improved and you will again and it will be easier and easier to get the next girlfriend

[Ilan]

It is very good that you accept that you screwed it and that is very true. Take full responsibility for this breakup! Contemplate on what you could have screwed up ! 
you completely screwed up bro, if you had been the best version of yourself which you of course will. The same girl would be begin you to suck your dick while you’re too busy working on your passion 

[Preety_India]

How did you screw it up? What did you do? 

 

[kras]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

How did you screw it up? What did you do? 

 

As she said, i have never opened to her.

[Preety_India]

12 minutes ago, kras said:

As she said, i have never opened to her.

Then try opening to her. 

[kras]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Then try opening to her. 

Its over..

I have mental health issues, i shouldnt be seeking for relationships but rather healing myself. 

This type of things just make the situation worse

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, kras said:

Its over..

I have mental health issues, i shouldnt be seeking for relationships but rather healing myself. 

This type of things just make the situation worse

OK. I wish you luck. I hope you find love and peace. Hugs. 

[kras]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

OK. I wish you luck. I hope you find love and peace. Hugs. 

Much appreciate

[Ananta]

@kras Awe, ya-know ppl break up over a multitude of reasons, really. So, don't get down on yourself. Cry it out, then try to let her go.

((hugs)) ?

[Roy]

1 hour ago, kras said:

This is what i was thinking

i hope that is the reason, not what she  told me

Don't sit and analyze too much, or even take what she said to heart or too seriously. You will be able to understand more clearly as you get some distance and time passes. Right now it's important to sit through your emotions (fully) to process them, not worrying about your logical mind going crazy about what you could have done differently. Trust that in a few months time the answers will click in your mind, and you will go "aaaahhhhh ok."

The most important thing is to swallow and accept the outcome. Realize yeah it might suck, but your life is obviously not over because of this. A break up sucks but it should not be devastating. It's just one of many people that probably won't be in your life anymore. That's alright. Many people come and go. It's normal !

It's counterintuitive because we want to move away from the negative stuff, but feel what you have to feel right now. If you gotta cry, cry your fuckin heart out until your eyes hurt. Sitting there and taking it like a punching bag right now is exactly what will help you move through it and come out the other end stronger.

Don't forget to focus on other things though. Hang out with friends, pick up some more responsibilities at work, and go to an event. You want to remind yourself that you still gotta life to live and while you enjoyed their company you weren't dependent on them for anything.

Hope this helps.

 

[Farnaby]

@kras sorry to hear that. Break ups often hurt a lot, even physically. I remember my first break up left me feeling like shit for a few months. 

It will get better. Let yourself grief and process those feelings. I hope you feel better soon!

[Preety_India]

2 hours ago, kras said:

And the hardest part to accept it that i screwed it.

My self esteem is down to zero right now.

You seem to be a really sweet guy. Maybe she will come back to you. Sometimes breakups are temporary. 

Sometimes I used to be offended by my boyfriend and break up with him only to feel like I want him again and let go of the anger and I used to go back to him. Or he used to come back to me. This happens and break up is not always an ultimate breakup until too much time has passed. 

So don't be in a hurry to completely Detach. It's ok, just soothe yourself and understand how that this is a moment for you to self reflect rather than self blame. 

Don't be discouraged so quickly. Don't hate or blame yourself. If you are good then you need to trust your goodness. 

The highest form of love is self love. 

 

[kras]

Thank you for the support all, i know it might sound pity but i feel very sad..

[Ananta]

@kras I made this thread awhile ago. Might help you cry it out or whatever.

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, kras said:

Thank you for the support all, i know it might sound pity but i feel very sad..

Nothing wrong with being sad. This is your moment. Feel it as much as you want. 

 

[Gregory1]

I feel you brother<3 much love from Germany