In The Midst of Despair

[Ferretab]

Hello.

I'm meditating daily for hours, even when I'm working. I strive to remain as conscious as possible. I have a lot of experience with the present moment and I can access concentration in less than ten seconds. Not to brag but I'm in the "Alpha Brain Waves" state the whole day; I have my EEG that can measure my brain activity.

With that being said, a wave of nihilism bubbles up; I feel like everything is meaningless, beyond concept and theory. Although most of the time I feel great, at some point, I'll feel that consciousness is pointless.

It is a spiritual depression, not a chemical imbalance. I have my life together and I truly love and enjoy my hobbies.

Do I need to convince myself that life is a gift and that reality is truly beautiful? I see that but it's not enough. My spiritual depression is persistent.

Edited August 7, 2021 by Ferretab

[RickyFitts]

54 minutes ago, Ferretab said:

Do I need to convince myself that life is a gift and that reality is truly beautiful? I see that but it's not enough. My spiritual depression is persistent.

Nah, you can't really kid yourself I don't think. I think the real issue is that you believe that life should have meaning, that you can't live without it because life seems pointless if it doesn't have meaning.

I think it's on the level of emotion that you need to focus - how does this apparent meaningless make you feel? Become very intimate with your felt experience when you contemplate this question, notice exactly what's going on within you without thinking about it.

[Thought Art]

@Ferretab There are a lot of factors that go into making life beautiful. Brain wave state is one factor, but there are many more. Like your beliefs, ability to inner smile and your Qi flow and quality. The whole nervous system needs to be address not just the brain waves. 

Like, doing things you enjoy, developing healthy relationships and taking yourself on dates or adventures to find the beauty in life. 

I like reading Howard Vernon for this reason. I recommend his book "There is a way out". Tasty short nuggets of wisdom.

Edited August 7, 2021 by Thought Art

[RickyFitts]

@Thought Art Just had a look at some Vernon Howard quotes and I'm liking his work, lots of wisdom in there. Though my favourite quote is probably this one:

Quote

Humanity appreciates truth about as much as a squirrel appreciates silver.

[Iksander]

@Thought Art You're the only person I have seen on the forum mention Howard Vernon's work. Shocking really, his teaching method is absolutely no bullshit straight to the point. 

 

One of the greatest teachers I came across on my journey waking up. Guys, if you haven't listened to his talks, you can find them on YouTube for FREE.

 

@Farraew2014 You are on the precipice of discovering something here. Keep digging. Maybe do something nice for someone and see how it feels

[mandyjw]

I mean which is it, is it important to measure and maintain your consciousness OR is it pointless? Joy is what happens when there's no one looking back trying to measure their own consciousness or striving to keep it. There aren't two, one that can know how the other is doing. Let that go and lighten up a bit. Your earnestness and dedication will certainly not be wasted or lost.

Also maybe check out Abraham Hicks.

[NoSelfSelf]

Just a part of the journey...  stuff are working its sometimes a brutal process it comes with phases of nihilism and depressiom etc.

[Goldzilla]

Depends also on the state of others, the personal circle, where you live, etc. Usually a depressive feeling is not from within, usually someone is suffering in the background.

Still believe awakened people are immune to the garbage of other people? Think again. 

If a rotten apple is near you, it will still stink even if you transcended. Do you think staying near the stinky apple will help you? Not very much. 

If you grow in transcendence, the rotten apple will stink even more. 

One reason, intelligent people don't live with the mob. Same reason hermits go and live in a mountain. This is reality, the mass communities stink, this is how it is. 

Edited August 7, 2021 by Goldzilla

[Ferretab]

1 hour ago, Goldzilla said:

Depends also on the state of others, the personal circle, where you live, etc. Usually a depressive feeling is not from within, usually someone is suffering in the background.

I was thinking about picking up on other people's moods if that's even possible.

Wow... I don't know what to say. I'm speechless at this point.

[Windappreciator]

23 minutes ago, Ferretab said:

I was thinking about picking up on other people's moods if that's even possible.

It is possible

[Ferretab]

Just now, Windappreciator said:

It is possible

Could you send me a YouTube video about this topic? Thanks.

[Windappreciator]

46 minutes ago, Ferretab said:

Could you send me a YouTube video about this topic? Thanks.

Hm. Maybe one day.

[Ferretab]

1 minute ago, Windappreciator said:

Hm. Maybe one day.

Sure. Any link would be much appreciated.

[Esilda]

@Ferretab My favourite book at the moment!

Whenever I'm feeling down or I'm re-experiencing my own anxieties I just simply find a calm place to rest if I'm not too preoccupied, ideally lay down and then drift off into the world of zen .

 

 

[Waken]

I heard something channeled about it once, this was sort of the point: 'Depression is a natural reaction when one realizes that the answers can not be found outside. But when it is labeled as depression, it might be experienced more negatively than it would have to be without that definition'.

Something that comes up for me to do, if you feel like getting out of that state of mind: State, or affirm, what it is that you don't want/like/prefer regarding whatever your emotion is about, and then write down the opposite of that. Even it the opposite doesn't feel good right now (you can't believe it), that's fine. For example, negative: "Life feels dull and I don't enjoy it anymore", positive: "This life experience is amazing, and full of wonderful opportunities to expand myself", or maybe a little gentler if that seems to big of an aim. Now just write down, next to that written statements things that are related to that that make you feel good or a bit better about the situation that feel true for you. For example, 'I like the weather today", "I've learned a lot the last years", etc. Write a bunch like 12 statements and then look back at your positive statement and feel the difference at how you now relate to that thought.
Just a thought, wishing you well buddy

[Esilda]

On 07/08/2021 at 8:57 PM, Ferretab said:

Hello.

I'm meditating daily for hours, even when I'm working. I strive to remain as conscious as possible. I have a lot of experience with the present moment and I can access concentration in less than ten seconds. Not to brag but I'm in the "Alpha Brain Waves" state the whole day; I have my EEG that can measure my brain activity.

With that being said, a wave of nihilism bubbles up; I feel like everything is meaningless, beyond concept and theory. Although most of the time I feel great, at some point, I'll feel that consciousness is pointless.

It is a spiritual depression, not a chemical imbalance. I have my life together and I truly love and enjoy my hobbies.

Do I need to convince myself that life is a gift and that reality is truly beautiful? I see that but it's not enough. My spiritual depression is persistent.

@Ferretab just checking up on you I hope you're doing well (this is my second comment here!)

[hamedsf]

Ego backlash... your mind is whipping you that you make significant progress without giving it time to restore itself.