Next Step?

[Whatev3r]

Hi,

I had this "experience of no self" a week ago. I realized that there's absolutely no-one here, no controller, no centre. Just this empty knowing of experience. There was this instant knowing that I can never die, because i was never born, that i'm (god,universe,emptiness) playing this game of being this little person.

After some time fear started to arise, this great terror. I couldn't really sleep for two days because of it. I think it was because everything was uncraspable for the ego, it felt like falling of a cliff and trying to grasp air at the same time. I thought of things i had to do that week and how long is this going to last? Shortly after that "my world" returned and fear stopped. I guess the old ego got some foothold.

Now i'm still detached from thought. It's hard to explain, they are still there, but there's no "I" feeling in them. I was just wondering like what next? Detaching completely from feelings and emotions? I feel like this is just the start of the path.

[Bebop]

@Whatev3r Yeah so the ego can never understand its true nature and its designed to reject things that are uncomfortable and threaten it. This is pretty normal and it'll pass after a while. Just keep doing what you are doing, you are on the right path

[Whatev3r]

@Bebop I understand now why people escaped to some cave after their awakening

 

[WelcometoReality]

@Whatev3r Be in that space, let yourself fall from the cliff into nothingness, embrace whatever comes up be that fear anxiety love. There is no next step, that is just the mind trying to figure things out.

[cetus]

@Whatev3r Just as a suggestion, try the no-self experience in a secluded spot in nature sometime. Sit and meditate than allow the silence to merge with everything. Something wonderful will reveal itself to you. It's amazing!

[Whatev3r]

@WelcometoReality yeah i feel this urge to know and go tell people about this, but i know it's useless and it's only the ego trying to feel special. 

@cetus56 Will try that, I wish it was summer here, although winter is beautiful too, but it's freezing outside

[cetus]

@Whatev3r Yea, It's getting cold here too and the fall leaves have now turned brown. The snow will be falling soon which is beautiful but nothing like spring when everything pops into existence.

[Whatev3r]

@cetus56 We had crazy snowstorm last night, there's like 40 cm of snow. It was fun to try to find my car this morning

[WelcometoReality]

25 minutes ago, Whatev3r said:

@WelcometoReality yeah i feel this urge to know and go tell people about this, but i know it's useless and it's only the ego trying to feel special. 

Yeah it can be tricky to know if something comes from truth or from illusion. It gets easier though. Best is to just keep quiet if you are uncertain.

 

[Whatev3r]

@WelcometoReality  I watched that video the night after my awakening. It's good advice. Immediately after the experience thought came that "I've done it now. I'm one of the rare people who are enlightened! Everybody needs to know about this!"

[WelcometoReality]

@Whatev3r Ego really claimed ownage of the awakening experience here and it took about a year before that illusion was seen through.

[Whatev3r]

@WelcometoReality  I've had many smaller awakenings before and every time ego claimed ownage of them and felt superior to "unconscious" people. This time i guess the awakening was so full that those kind of thoughs were seen trough easily.

[Bebop]

@Whatev3r @WelcometoReality Yeah I thought I knew everything after my first awakening experience and looking back on it I was completely clueless on all of it haha. As Jed McKenna says "Further"

[Bob84]

@Whatev3r Ask yourself who cares about everything you just posted here. And just be aware of it, dont judge as that is not being aware.

[Joel3102]

Yeah I've had similar experiences, gone through existential terror, depression, nihilism, anxiety ect...It always passes leaving you with a higher state of consciousness.

Did you find the knowing that you are immortal kind of scary??? I've spent my whole life being an atheist who took comfort in the notion that once you die that's it, I don't really want to be eternal...

[Whatev3r]

@Bebop  Always further.

@Bob84 It can't be anything other than ego. Emptiness doesn't care about anything.

@Joel3102 That feeling comes from the ego. Reality is eternal, you as body mind aren't. Just be the awareness where the fear arises. Then fear becomes quite enjoyable, just a neutral feeling.