Getting phone numbers that lead to nowhere

[StarStruck]

So I started with pickup in May. In the beginning it was really difficult but currently it is very easy for me to connect to girls in a fun, open and carefree fashion. 

My close rate with a phone number is very high so I should be happy but I'm not. All the phone numbers I get lead to nothing. I send a text: no reply. I call: they don't pick up. 

People on this forum told me to create more comfort and vibe more. A guy can only do so much in 10-20 minutes. I think my emotional connection building skills are OK. I'm really interested in them and I don't get the feeling they just give their number to get rid of me. That happened only once or twice. 

So currently I have like 6 girls I acquired recently. Last couple of days I tried to text them or call them. None of them answered me. I'm collectively being punished for something and I'm totally blind to it. 

I have already worked on 

• Building emotional connection
• Throwing in some negative emotional spikes 
• Being funny
• Outcome independence and being carefree 

People told me abundance would solve my problem. I have abundance in phone numbers but it isn't leading anyway.

 

[unborn_chicken]

Are you practicing with random girls on the street or are you going to bars, nightclubs etc?

[StarStruck]

21 minutes ago, unborn_chicken said:

Are you practicing with random girls on the street or are you going to bars, nightclubs etc?

Street game. 

[Preety_India]

I sometimes gave my number with 1 digit missing. 

 

[Flowerfaeiry]

45 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

• Outcome independence and being carefree 

Are you actually being outcome independent? Neediness and desperation are a huge turn off and I can always sense it from a mile away. 

[unborn_chicken]

5 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Street game. 

Well, I think the point of bars, nightclubs and such places is that people there are naturally more open to meeting new people, rather than some random guy approaching you in the middle of the street trying to insert himself into your life when you're just trying to go about your day.

 

So I'd suggest going to one of these places instead, especially with a group of friends.

If that's not an option for you then I think you just need to accept that street game is fundamentally a numbers game. If you want to see results you'll have to approach literally hundreds and hundreds of girls.

 

But honestly I'd rather reinvest all that time and energy into yourself. The best dating strategy in my opinion is becoming as successful as you possibly can in every aspect of your life, financially, intellectually, socially, etc.

 

Life tends to be counterintuitive like that. Like Sadhguru says: if you want mango you don't think mango!, you first think soil, sun, water, etc.

[StarStruck]

@unborn_chicken thank you but night game is not an option. There is a lockdown and I don't have the social circle to go out. 

@Flowerfaeiry It depends on the girl. If I really want the girl I have a hard time to be outcome independent. But with most regular girls I'm outcome independent. Even those regular looking girls don't want to meet me after giving me their number and saying yes to a coffee date in my freaking face. 

29 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I sometimes gave my number with 1 digit missing. 

 

Only 1 time I got a fake number. That is not the issue here.

We are talking about flaking. Flaking is normal. On the internet they say 80% flake rate is normal. My flake rate is about 97%.

Edited August 6, 2021 by StarStruck

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

We are talking about flaking. Flaking is normal. On the internet they say 80% flake rate is normal. My flake rate is about 97%.

The only rational advice (not even advice) here would be to simply deal with flaking. 

It's a part and parcel of dating. 

Giving number to a random stranger is not an easy thing, dating or no dating. And then add on top the whole idea of meeting.... To me this sounds like it is not the most helpful way of creating relationships for most women, they don't see value in it as much as you do. So they flake. The ones who accept might be the type you're looking for 

I'm sure not every girl flakes but typically flake rates would be higher if you got low game. 

 

Edited August 6, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

9 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Only 1 time I got a fake number. That is not the issue here.

Emotional and funny talk. Focus on that. 

 

[StarStruck]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

Emotional and funny talk. Focus on that. 

 

I watched Leo's video on being funny. It really helps getting phone numbers. Leo's latest video on loneliness also helped me. 

Girls just don't want to meet me after giving their phone number. 

There was one Ukrainian who wanted me but she canceled last minute, told me if I wanted to meet next week and then start ignoring me. 

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

The only rational advice (not even advice) here would be to simply deal with flaking. 

It's a part and parcel of dating. 

Giving number to a random stranger is not an easy thing, dating or no dating. And then add on top the whole idea of meeting.... To me this sounds like it is not the most helpful way of creating relationships for most women, they don't see value in it as much as you do. So they flake. The ones who accept might be the type you're looking for 

I'm sure not every girl flakes but typically flake rates would be higher if you got low game. 

 

They give their number and they agree on a date. And when it is weekend and I call them or text them, they are not home. You might be right about them not seeing value in me. I don't know how to solve this though. These girls are just wasting my time. Just tell me you don't want me instead of giving me your number and letting my hang high and dry. 

[unborn_chicken]

22 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

There is a lockdown and I don't have the social circle to go out. 

Focus on having a great social life before trying to have a great romantic/sexual life.

[aurum]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

On the internet they say 80% flake rate is normal.

It's not normal at all. It's only normal for PUAs trying to do cold approach, which is not how dating is typically done.

If I'm remembering correctly, I've already given you my advice on this topic. You need to make friends and build a social circle. I understand that may not be an option given that it's lockdown, but you can't really be surprised then when girl after girl flakes on you.

If you are intent on going through with the solo cold approach thing, I think it's foolish, but there are likely some things you can do to reduce flaking.

1) Make sure you are texting her right away as soon as you get her number. A simple "Hey it's StarStruck from X" is usually enough. She should text back, especially if she just gave you her number. Now when you text her for your date, she sees who you are and that she replied earlier to you. Some PUAs even send a picture so the girl remembers. I've never done that, but you can experiment.

2) If the date is more than a couple of days out, you can't just wait until that day to contact her. That's basically a guaranteed flake. Keep in contact with her during the week leading up to the date. And keep it light & fun, you're just keeping the connection alive.

3) Schedule dates earlier. Usually the sooner after you just got her number the better. The more days in between, more of the chance that you're getting dropped.

4) Another sneaky PUA move you can do is on the day of the date, you text her "hey I'm going to be like 30 minutes late, can we push until X time?". The reason being that this gives the girl a chance to flake on you and cancel if she was going to do so, without you wasting your whole day.

5) Make sure your dates are convenient and low commitment. As much as I might dislike our modern flakey dating culture, what I've found is that some girls will simply not go on a date with you because it's inconvenient and requires too much investment on her part. She has to drive, or go somewhere she's not familiar, or risk spending two hours on a dinner date that will suck.

Ideally she is willing to make that kind of commitment, but good luck with that if you're doing cold approach. I've found it pretty rare unless you had an exceptionally good interaction or the girl just has nothing better to do. Usually you need some of both.

6) Make sure you're getting her on social, not just her phone number. And make sure your social media is good, with regular posts and / stories if you're using Instagram. That's a super easy way for you not to just be another random phone number in her mind, but an actual human being. She can go through all your posts, watch your stories, all with no extra investment or neediness on your part.

The flip side of this is that if your social media sucks, then this will backfire. Maybe she thought you were cool during the five minutes on the street, but as soon as she see's your bathroom selfie picture with mirror stains, she's out. So get that going well.

 

If you do all of this you'll definitely up your odds. You will still get many flakes, but just not as many.

Edited August 6, 2021 by aurum

[Flowerfaeiry]

@StarStruck it's not personal. Girls are like that. Keep trying and keep it lighthearted.

[StarStruck]

27 minutes ago, aurum said:

It's not normal at all. It's only normal for PUAs trying to do cold approach, which is not how dating is typically done.

If I'm remembering correctly, I've already given you my advice on this topic. You need to make friends and build a social circle. I understand that may not be an option given that it's lockdown, but you can't really be surprised then when girl after girl flakes on you.

I remember your advice and I did try to build a social circle but it is not easy. I get some dudes numbers from the gym and they are just as flakey as girls. I'm just wanting a training buddy for starters but they just don't see the value in it. They rather train alone or when they want, I guess.

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If you are intent on going through with the solo cold approach thing, I think it's foolish, but there are likely some things you can do to reduce flaking.

1) Make sure you are texting her right away as soon as you get her number. A simple "Hey it's StarStruck from X" is usually enough. She should text back, especially if she just gave you her number. Now when you text her for your date, she sees who you are and that she replied earlier to you. Some PUAs even send a picture so the girl remembers. I've never done that, but you can experiment.

I experimented with this and it is true. The chance they reply is much higher but from my experience they flake on me/ignore me sooner or later but that doesn´t take away from the fact that this is a good practise.

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2) If the date is more than a couple of days out, you can't just wait until that day to contact her. That's basically a guaranteed flake. Keep in contact with her during the week leading up to the date. And keep it light & fun, you're just keeping the connection alive.

I wish I knew this earlier. Some people give the exact opposite advice. They told me to totally ignore the girl after setting up the date (that doesn't work). I will try what you told me for a change.

Quote

3) Schedule dates earlier. Usually the sooner after you just got her number the better. The more days in between, more of the chance that you're getting dropped.

4) Another sneaky PUA move you can do is on the day of the date, you text her "hey I'm going to be like 30 minutes late, can we push until X time?". The reason being that this gives the girl a chance to flake on you and cancel if she was going to do so, without you wasting your whole day.

5) Make sure your dates are convenient and low commitment. As much as I might dislike our modern flakey dating culture, what I've found is that some girls will simply not go on a date with you because it's inconvenient and requires too much investment on her part. She has to drive, or go somewhere she's not familiar, or risk spending two hours on a dinner date that will suck.

Ideally she is willing to make that kind of commitment, but good luck with that if you're doing cold approach. I've found it pretty rare unless you had an exceptionally good interaction or the girl just has nothing better to do. Usually you need some of both.

If you do all of this you'll definitely up your odds. You will still get many flakes, but just not as many.

Very clever but usually I don't even get that far. I get her number and I try to text her or call her and she just doesn't respond. It is very hard to proceed from this spot. I can try to call her every couple of days hoping she picks up but they rarely do. From my experimentation, if I bog them down enough, they will be forced to reject me so I stop trying. So my conclusion is that most girls give their number and they are too lazy to reject the guy. My male brain says "so just don't give me your number then if you don't want me" and I still can't understand that part from female psychology. I should just stop trying to understand them.

At this point I really don't know what I can do more. I exhausted all of my options. Only thing that comes to mind is to consume more PUA material and become more manipulative and push their buttons more. The natural PUA material just doesn't work with me. They don't want a nice and authentic guy. I need to play the game and push their buttons.

Quote

6) Make sure you're getting her on social, not just her phone number. And make sure your social media is good, with regular posts and / stories if you're using Instagram. That's a super easy way for you not to just be another random phone number in her mind, but an actual human being. She can go through all your posts, watch your stories, all with no extra investment or neediness on your part.

The flip side of this is that if your social media sucks, then this will backfire. Maybe she thought you were cool during the five minutes on the street, but as soon as she see's your bathroom selfie picture with mirror stains, she's out. So get that going well.

My social life sucks and my social media sucks even more. I don't look great in pictures. I discovered this after going on tinder where girls rejected me on a collective scale.

34 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

@StarStruck it's not personal. Girls are like that. Keep trying and keep it lighthearted.

That is hard to believe.

[Preety_India]

I can't believe girls give you their number. 

[Roy]

Women can be skittish, elusive, flakey, and highly indecisive creatures. This is just the nature of things. You don't take it personally when you step in dogshit right? You just accept it might happen when you step out and decide to walk in a world where there is dog shit on the ground.

Don't blame yourself when women behave like women. Simply keep going and you will get your results man. It could just be bad luck - people are busy in the summertime - etc.

Exactly how many phone numbers VS numbers of dates have you had since you started in May? Have you been keeping track?

I've gone on about 20 1st dates since May 19th, only 3 of them have resulted in a 2nd date so far. This shit is hard man. Keep your head up!

I bet what's going to happen is sooner than later you'll meet that girl that clicks with you and you'll be in a relationship and ecstatic . Patience + effort, and good things will come my friend. 

[hyruga]

4 minutes ago, Roy said:

Women can be skittish, elusive, flakey, and highly indecisive creatures. This is just the nature of things. You don't take it personally when you step in dogshit right? You just accept it might happen when you step out and decide to walk in a world where there is dog shit on the ground.

Don't blame yourself when women behave like women. Simply keep going and you will get your results man. It could just be bad luck - people are busy in the summertime - etc.

Exactly how many phone numbers VS numbers of dates have you had since you started in May? Have you been keeping track?

I've gone on about 20 1st dates since May 19th, only 3 of them have resulted in a 2nd date so far. This shit is hard man. Keep your head up!

I bet what's going to happen is sooner than later you'll meet that girl that clicks with you and you'll be in a relationship and ecstatic . Patience + effort, and good things will come my friend. 

Wow that's a lot of dates. What do you normally do on your date may I ask? Hard to come up with anything due to pandemic.

[Roy]

11 minutes ago, hyruga said:

Wow that's a lot of dates. What do you normally do on your date may I ask? Hard to come up with anything due to pandemic.

I used to get anxious and had a neurotic feeling I had to come up and plan all these crazy ideas to be impressive, but then I realized it's simply not worth the investment to a stranger and to make such a big deal out of it. 9/10 times I just suggest for a walk in a park or to hike a nature trail, and either have a snack at a coffee shop before or after depending what time of day it is. It's a two part date that costs $5-10 max for a coffee + gas, and there is less pressure to be talking constantly when you're walking.

If you're meeting them for more than a first date that's when you arrange dinner reservations or to go to some event.

[Leo Gura]

@StarStruck You shouldn't expect massive results if you just started game.

Massive results come after years of going out and honing your skills. The bottom line is that your skills still suck.

The learning curve for game is really steep. Stop stressing over it so much.

And definitely night game is an important piece of the puzzle you're missing. Only doing street game is gonna limit your growth and results. The serious skills are built with night game.

[hamedsf]

you might start the convo with something that indicates your lower self-confidence or self-steem from the get-go, how would you start a convo? 

most girls are insecure so don't think that you should all blame it on your skills. but don't stop goin' forward.