I Want To Start My Life From Scratch

[eazy-esnoopdogg187]

Hi there,I'm 20 years old and I'm sick and frustrated with the way my life has gone for most of my life but mostly specifically the last 4 years. I've been shy for most of my life and have always struggled to make friends and was bullied in school. When I was 14. But situations changed for the better between 14 and 16 where at this time I was extremely happy in my life and although I was still shy ,I had something that I believe in strongly and with conviction which helped me overcome my insecurities.

Until one day my entire world changed DRASTICALLY and this thing which I relied on so much for my happiness was turned against me. I went through a long period of depression and anxiety to the point where school became un important and friends became a distraction. Throughout that entire 4 years I avoided going anywhere with friends or even contacting anyone because I saw basically on survival mode and saw them as distractions.

During this time while trying to deal with my issues I would spend all my time on youtube frantically trying to find answers to my problems which is where I discovered actualized.org. At this point I had watched so many videos that that I had completely forgot the reasons for why I became depressed. At this point my worldview had completely changed and the initial reason for why I became depressed and anxious when I was 16 has completely changed.

As a result I've become more reclusive than ever. I have completely forgotten how to converse with anybody and i haven't contacted anybody in a very long time and now i feel stuck under parental lockdown and struggle to find jobs.

However, I'm optimistic and thankfull for everything which has happened. My worldview and my attitude on life has completely changed and i feel like this is the perfect time.

so to whoever is reading this. Please. Give me tips if you can on how i can start my life from scratch from the ground up and completely change my whole identity.

[Pramit]

start by education. Where are you on that?

[Elisabeth]

I don't understand why you would change identity. You say yourself that you're greatful for your experience. So build on that. 

You seem to think all of your life is wrong, but really describe only three problems:

1. Shyness ... which seems to ask for babysteps
2. Depression ... which seems to be getting much better if not over
3. Strugling to become independent from your parents ... which is totally normal in your early twenties

To me, you seem to be headed in the right direction. 

[The Monk]

@eazy-esnoopdogg187 There is no need to start your life from the very beginning, you can do that now. You know what to do! (it's what's emotional difficult in that situation) JUST DO IT! 

[Thinh]

Hi @eazy-esnoopdogg187, I'm 20 years old and I also have some problems like you. But I think the best time to start is right now because I've seen many people who are already 30, 40 regret about what they haven't done in their twenties. The only way to make you life better is through action. You can't sit there and hope everything will get better for you. You have to do it yourself. Now, I'm working on Leo's purpose course and implementing things in Leo's videos. I think you should start with Leo's life purpose course. And apply one positive habit at the time and you'll get better. YOU CAN DO IT!

[Jacques]

I think I had a similar is as you.

I did this twice in my life, one time in the past, and a few months back. So I have some experience doing it, and reflecting on it, and I am also in the process of doing it.

Out of the things I noticed or can remember:

1. I am making effort not to slander (label people) or gossip. I found that people immediately notice when I say something about someone else. They will consciously or subconsciously register it in their minds, and when they see me doing it even once, they will not easily trust me again. I am going for a more trustworthy image.
2. Consider contracts, especially ones where you still interact with people in your past. Even like a alarm system contract in your own home, when you move, it may get messy to deal with.
3. You can sometimes hire a storage area, outside of where you will live, like a garage or smaller, then you can bring all your stuff with you.
4. I used meetup, the website, to find places to go and interact, this way if I don't like a group, I can just stop attending, I also get experience hanging out with people, and also get to interact with a lot of different people.
5. I found a job that I worked from 9:00am to 3:00pm, so I get to do a lot of stuff, however, I had gotten a lot of luck getting that.
6. The predatory people seem to sort of start from scratch when I moved. The trick seems to not get involved with their shit, they have their opinion, and you have yours. I found that if they cannot trigger you emotionally, they are completely screwed.

Anyway good luck!

Edited November 29, 2016 by Jacques