Loneliness and People Pleasing

[Shakazulu]

great new video by Leo. I found myself shedding tears after realizing how True this is! The first cause of my people pleasing comes from my parents. They came from Angola to Toronto when I was one and their message was always.
“ we came here for you to have a better life “  

i always had a monkey on my back making me feel like I constantly need to be achieving in my life. When I was fourteen I started making music and being known as an artist was how I received the love and acceptance I’ve always wanted. Eight years later I’m here and everyday I worry because I have a big list of habits to complete so I can actualized my life purpose. ( great course by the way ) I completed it three and half years ago. I’ve honestly sacrificed a lot the last four years. Relationships, friends, money and time. Dedicating my life to finding what is true and building skills to become financially free so I can escape wage slavery. There’s other things I wish I could’ve accomplished but I wouldn’t be who I am today 

I can be alone but a part of my people pleasing stems from an incident that happened when I was around 4-5 years old. I was sexually abused and I didn’t realize Or admit to this until I was 21 (one year ago) It took a healer and a 5-MEO trip for me to come this conclusion, when I did, I had a mental breakdown. I found RSD When I was 20 and it gave me the gut feeling that something happened when I was a child, turns out the trauma that affected my love life was when I was sexually abused. After learning more about the opposite sex I realized how many guys go for one girl. If she’s attractive, now with today’s internet. There will be 10-20 guys trying to get her and this frustrates me because I have no choice but live in abundance or else I’ll be too needy to even get the girl. Now I’m in this cycle of constantly going out to get girls because because I’m afraid of being A needy guy and losing the girl I want. 
thank you 

 

[gettoefl]

bless you for sharing and sending you much love in your journey today ... hope you are feeling that sense of abundance you refer to, i can see you are a beautiful person ... i got a ton from this video too and it reinforced my practice of self love and showed its importance

[Shakazulu]

@gettoefl thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate you