Guys, is this normal ?

[Greengrass]

I’m relatively new to spirituality and also quite young , so I would greatly appreciate some input in this situation.

Context: I’ve been meditating for almost 6 months, almost daily, as well as doing some Kriya Yoga for a few weeks. 
today was an especially emotional day for me, I was doing some background research on the history of psychedelics and I spent a bit of time in nature, just contemplating about various things I learnt.
 

Here’s what happened: 

I was meditating for 40 minutes today, and by each minute, I felt my body lose sensation. I knew my body was there and it was still working perfectly fine, but I just felt my sense of self just dissolve into my surroundings. 
After 35 minutes, I felt myself feel extremely calm, just as if I didn’t even exist, I was perfectly still. 

and then suddenly, I felt my heart rate increase, my breathing got faster and I felt so scared. 
I had my eyes shut and the room was dark, but behind my eyelids, I could see a sort of a light growing brighter and brighter. 
but I was so scared and didn’t know what was happening, so I opened my eyes quickly and tried to get out of that state. 

 

what happened ?

 

[WelcometoReality]

@Greengrass Yes it's normal to feel fear when tye sense of self disappears. Just let it come up. Fear is the doorway.

[Greengrass]

@WelcometoReality

Thank you did your input !

How about that brief ‘visions’, the ‘white’ one which I believed I saw behind my eyelids ? 
 

[AdamR95]

35 minutes ago, Greengrass said:

 

How about that brief ‘visions’, the ‘white’ one which I believed I saw behind my eyelids ? 
 

My visual field goes usualy white when i meditate with open eyes and sometimes it shrink like a tunnel and almost disappear. But it happens only with open eyes.

Edited August 2, 2021 by AdamR95

[Greengrass]

@AdamR95

me too ! The white ‘shape’ is not very defined, but it is certainly in the shape of a tunnel. 
Do you have any idea of what it could be ?

thanks Adam !

[WelcometoReality]

2 hours ago, Greengrass said:

@WelcometoReality

Thank you did your input !

How about that brief ‘visions’, the ‘white’ one which I believed I saw behind my eyelids ? 
 

Visuals are also normal. ?

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, Greengrass said:

what happened ?

Ego is scared of ego-death/dissolution into Infinity.

What did you expect would happen? You think the ego is gonna be thrilled about this?

[Tim R]

@Greengrass No need to worry everyone who meditates regularly will at some point experience something very much like what you experienced. It's completely normal. You can allow this sort of thing to happen. This is where the fun begins Next time you meditate, you don't even have to think about whether it will happen again. Maybe it will, maybe it won't, doesn't matter. And if it comes up again: now you know that it's perfectly harmless. You can sit and watch it, like you would watch a movie. And see what happens when you don't immediately snap out of it 

[Seeker531]

The light might be a nimitta. Just do nothing with it and it might become clearer. 

[BipolarGrowth]

This is all par for the course in spirituality, more or less. Keep practicing and take breaks when it’s too much at once.