Why women should make the first move (sometimes)

[Harlen Kelly]

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Only true if the guy is really horny.

Most healthy heterosexual men are horny most of the time and willing to have sex with an attractive woman at any time, regardless of how many options he has. 

You are clearly mistaken about male sexuality. Open your mind to the possibility that you are wrong. 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Karmadhi said:

@Preety_India I cater to the guy that struggles with girls and is desperate for anything.

You cater to the player who has shit lot of options and has pride and an ego identity out of getting girls.

We cater to the two extremes.

This explains this whole discussion we re having.

So tell me how can you have an equal world where what you say becomes relevant to everyone ? The answer is simple. There's no sureshot way of having anything in this world that you could call a holy grail and dating is the last area of life in that regard ever, dating is far too complex with female and male agenda mashed into it, combined with very complex perspectives on both male and female side.

It's like a Rubic's cube you're trying to solve forever, you never get to a perfect "one size fits all" solution when it comes to dating.

Whether men or women approach, both are bad in my opinion because both lead to power struggles that are responsible for much of the misery that each gender suffers.

I wish there was an egalitarian approach to this where both men and women approach equally and fairly without any subconscious judgement or shaming attached to any of it, with men there's a subconscious guilt attached if they can't get laid, with women there's a whore complex attached if she is trying to be free with her sexuality or wanting a man without being considered desperate.

A truly open society is one where no shaming exists and an understanding that both men and women need each other equally and should be offered equal chance without having to go to extreme lengths to impress each other.

 

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

Most healthy heterosexual men are horny most of the time and willing to have sex with an attractive woman at any time, regardless of how many options he has. 

I have observed this in slightly older men. With younger men, let's say someone who is 24, they kinda don't look at it this way, they can be annoying and very insecure and too much pride/ego. Even if they have many options, if they like one woman, they cut out all other women, simply out of ego. Older men are more available, tend to be hornier and don't reject too much, act matured and don't act arrogant around an approaching female. 

 

[Harlen Kelly]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Older men are more available, tend to be hornier

How would this be logical of the older you get, the less testosterone you produce, therefore, the less horny you are?

[Preety_India]

@Harlen Kelly ok tell me this much, if whatever you say is true, then why do women constantly advise each other, "don't make the first move" or something along the lines like"oh he rejected you because you made the first move."

Why this?

Why aren't women encouraged to make the first move ? What are they gonna lose?

[Harlen Kelly]

@Preety_India Because women don't have to approach. 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Harlen Kelly said:

How would this be logical of the older you get, the less testosterone you produce, therefore, the less horny you are?

That's not true. Testosterone gives men raw power,but it's not directly associated with sexuality. Young men are more violent than older men because of high testosterone but when testosterone goes to the head, it creates the pride syndrome, much more prevalent in younger guys who are like 18 years old. Older men are much more sexual.. if I was groped sexually, it was mostly older men. Younger men can be picky and arrogant. Older men are more perverted and hyper sexual (also more maternal) yet this sexual drive is simply a function of old age and the feeling of insecurity of FOMO, they feel they'll miss out on sex so they start scrounging every opportunity they get, yet younger males live in the illusion that they have too many options and this false pride combined with the Aggression from testosterone causes them to reject women, they could even be averse to female sexiness because they think they are being seduced. 

 

 

[Karmadhi]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Why aren't women encouraged to make the first move ? What are they gonna lose?

They are more and more these days thanks to feminism. Normally they do not have to do it because men are hornier so they will make the approach. Approching is scary and hard and can hurt your ego a LOT therefore it is not desirable especially when starting out. Why should a woman go through the troubles of approaching when she gets guys approaching her instead.

Also in conservative cultures if a girl approaches she is seen as a horny shamless slut and ofc she does not want such reputation.

In developed liberal countries the notion of "male approaches" is starting to blurr, it will take time though. In such countries the main reason is that women want to protect their ego and therefore rely on guys doing it. 

[Harlen Kelly]

@Preety_India A bit of reading will clear up any confusions you might have: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/sexual-health/expert-answers/loss-of-sex-drive/faq-20058237#:~:text=It's natural for men to,related to an underlying condition.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Karmadhi said:

They are more and more these days thanks to feminism. Normally they do not have to do it because men are hornier so they will make the approach. Approching is scary and hard and can hurt your ego a LOT therefore it is not desirable especially when starting out. Why should a woman go through the troubles of approaching when she gets guys approaching her instead.

Also in conservative cultures if a girl approaches she is seen as a horny shamless slut and ofc she does not want such reputation.

In developed liberal countries the notion of "male approaches" is starting to blurr, it will take time though. In such countries the main reason is that women want to protect their ego and therefore rely on guys doing it. 

Yes. You have to ask why women want to protect their ego ? It's because society devalues women who approach. Women look down on other women , more so in this feminist era, women are like,"girl, don't you have self esteem, let the guy do it ." 

However don't assume that men don't add to this thinking. Men pick this from women and think they are probably with a low value woman if she made the first move.

How about men encouraging this trend by accepting women who approach them? Maybe that will help to reverse the trend. Don't carry subconscious guilt against women who approach you.

 

[Consilience]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Men don't like being approached. They reject.

No matter how hot the woman.

 

Nope. This is just straight up false. 

[Preety_India]

17 minutes ago, eaaaeaeae said:

@Preety_IndiaOr maybe you just hang around normies. Normal people maybe just maybe are as how you describe them. They are the same people that vote for hitler, and think that determinism doesn't even have the chance to be real (they can't even think that). The same that watch sports all day (sports are awseome, but too many people watch them, there is no diversity, your estimation of what men want are the same, you just talk about the majority, too many people, you don't talk about different type of men.)

 

I don't know about this. I'm not sure about your definition of normies..

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This is just a disgusting story women make in order to social engineer men to approach them while they do nothing. Entitlement at its finest. Like men are slaves and women masters.

Hehe. I'm actually advocating for the opposite. I want men  to not judge women who approach them. So women can approach more .

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Also you say that a man that say yes has zero options, very submissive or too horny. I have 2 questions? 1st is. So what? and 2nd is, so you are biologicaly wired to see a man that accept your approach as a ''loser'' , loser equal to a girl with bad body features that aren't sexy at all.

You're taking this the wrong way. I don't mean I'm biologically wired to see the man who accepts me as a loser. What I meant is statistically it's the low value males who easily accept women.. especially if they are submissive or horny. What in general society considers as "high value," those type of men are totally repulsed by the idea of women approaching. 

What I mean is that men change the way they think, women will be more open to approaching, the humbler women. However men don't give them a chance.

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All a guy wants from a woman is rough, horny, passionate, lustful, sex. If you approach him like you don't want that he may feel uncomfortable, you have to prove yourself. Which you don't. Cause only the slave which is the man has to approach and be rejected if he doesn't find a tiring way to prove himself to the sadistic master brat, the woman. 

Hehe you're talking about egoic women whereas I'm talking about egoic men, come to my country and see how egoic men behave, they see it against their pride to be with a woman who makes the first move 

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If you don't like approaching while you reject men why do you still want guys to approach you and get rejected even more times?

I like approaching. But every time I do it,I get shamed or ridiculed. So what men say and what men want are two different things. They act like they would be too glad to see a woman approaching, yet the reality is that they don't see such women as "admirable." They want to simply pump and dump them because they consider them "whores. "

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I am not talking to you personaly, you can do whatever you want, I just ask your gender as a whole when it comes up with bs like these. ''Men don't like being approached'' . Yeah sure if a sexy woman approach a man she is going to be rejected, he won't be a thirsty dog that want to ejaculate his sperm that makes him suffer if not realeased. This is just sadistic stories that are being told to make fun of men that have problems of poor sexual life.

Lmao. Why are you guilting men? If they are thirsty let them be 

In 21st century, thirsty men are reducing in numbers. Endangered species. You would need more thirsty men and less incels.

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Yes it's entirely possible if a woman approach you too quick that you may think she has STDs or wants to kill you and take your money or has a hidden camera somewhere. That's the fault of mytriatchy that runs for thousands years if not forever. Not the fault of men. 

Haha. It's the fault of biased perception and cognitive dissonance in men who think a woman can never have good intentions. Kinda ingrained in patriarchy.

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When I was attractive I asked a woman at her 35+ when I was 20, where should I go, and she stated touching and rubbing my chest, all I could think is why she won't rub more down of there. She did that for 1 minute and I couldn't even hear the directions while I was smiling at the middle of the sidewalk. I didn't reject her, I was just wanted to become better and it didn't. 

No idea about that. All I know that men say something and want something else

 

Edited August 2, 2021 by Preety_India

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

An interesting video i watched, i really like this youtuber. What are your thoughts on it, i see no reason why this does not become more popular. Maybe 50/50 idk.

It can work out sometimes. But overall, it’s far less likely to. So, it isn’t anything I’d recommend to a woman.

Mind you, men do like it when women approach because it makes in easier for them.

But with the way that male sexuality generally works, it’s not such a good idea.

A man’s attraction begins in the lions, then goes to the heart, and then eventually ends up in the head. Women generally go the opposite way where that attraction begins in the mind, then to the heart, and then to the loins.

So, approaching a man and making it easy for him, makes it far more likely that his attraction won’t go past the loins. There usually has to be some challenge to slow things down, so that the attraction can rise for him to the heart and mind.

 

[Harlen Kelly]

1 minute ago, Emerald said:

Mind you, men do like it when women approach because it makes in easier for them.

Balderdash.

[Emerald]

Just now, Harlen Kelly said:

Balderdash.

Many men do like it when women approach. Just look through the thread if you don’t believe me.

Why wouldn’t they? It makes it easier for them.

But as I’ve said before, it usually isn’t the best idea. 

Many men may like when a woman approaches, but they don’t usually respond to it with a desire to go deeper.

[Harlen Kelly]

@Emerald I mistakenly read ''many men don't like it''. 

[Emerald]

2 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@Emerald I mistakenly read ''many men don't like it''. 

I see

[Preety_India]

@eaaaeaeae lol. Revenge 101. 

[Flowerfaeiry]

Of course, you can ask a guy out if you want to but where's the fun in that? If you are interested in a man, invoke him to ask you out

[Consilience]

45 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

Of course, you can ask a guy out if you want to but where's the fun in that? If you are interested in a man, invoke him to ask you out

This is even more fun than a woman asking a man out.