Why are some men interested in being violent?

[Preety_India]

Notice it's not all men. 

So I try to regularly talk to men in order to screen them to see who is safer to be with. 

I observed a peculiarity. Some men like to boast about violence but not in a brutal manner, in a "saviour" manner.

They will say things like "I'll beat the shit out of that guy." "That guy" referring to someone who did something criminal. 

Is this behaviour to show a woman how macho they are. 

Since I had a few experiences with men, what I gathered from it is that such men tend to mask violence and violent tendencies. They attach it to heroism so that they can get away with their secret need for control and violence. It's basically a red flag.

As much as they like to boast how heroic they're going to be, these are the same men who are violent to their girlfriends as well, wouldn't admit if they were violent to their past girlfriends or they are going to be violent to their future girlfriends.

A lot of women think "he is not going to beat me, " or "he must be joking."

Beware when your boyfriend/date says something like that. He is trying to dress it up as heroism yet deep down he has a strong need to control and he is probably violent and won't hesitate if he has to beat you to show control.

The thing that you need to understand is people occasionally feel like supporting vigilante justice and rarely ever talk about using violence to resolve tough matters..of course there are legal ways. 

So when a guy resorts to such statements/actions it's a surefire indicator of violent temper and violent behaviour. He is dangerous in every way and if the guy you meet says anything similar then run for the hills. He is clearly a danger.

Now society tries to normalise such violence as heroism as shown in the movies, I must say the movies have played a huge role in corrupting women's minds.

Let's say a child is being bullied and the man beats up the bully to save the child, yes it's a heroic act.

But don't be fooled. Doing real heroic things is one thing and constantly boasting how he is going to do so and so is another. 

The boasting or threatening or assertion is an indicator of violence.

Just wanted to share my perspective on a red flag I noticed

 

 

Edited August 1, 2021 by Preety_India

[Zeroguy]

Because we experienced first hand who you are and your "love". 

Edited August 1, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Preety_India]

11 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

Because we experienced first hand who you are and your "love". 

Be love yourself.

Yet ladies need to be "bewared."

[Zeroguy]

Your actual true nature never to be forgotten. 

It is a big blessing. 

Greatest Leader has to go through it. 

 

[Peter Miklis]

I cringe hard every time I hear some guy say that? Not only because he'd likely not harm a fly, but also because all of that passion is wasted on what... protecting?? There are better ways to use one's passion.

[Eph75]

@Preety_India

Primitive behavior, essentially cock fighting, the stronger party winning the favor of some female.

Establishing hierarchy, power and status inbetween men. Can be done in other more peaceful ways that are strength-based, such as arm-wrestling or "playful" fighting or wrestling, comparing strength. 

More often occurring with younger, immature men, probably correlating with high levels of testosterone and insecurities. 

Used verbally about third party as desire to maintain sense of own status towards others, but without any need for confrontation, often as you say, directed towards someone perceived violating moral values. 

An interesting personal observation is that when I go the pub I often get looks from other men as if they want to kill me. Men that I've never seen before nor interacted with in any way, shape or form. Seemingly completely random. I find that hilarious as I am very peaceful and friendly. I'm fairly certain this is because of my appearance and being 193 cm tall, causing some immature men to feel a need to maintain their own perceived hierarchy and status, essentially addressing insecurities in self arising. 

As I child, probably somewhere around 6 years of age, I've had few other boys tell me say stuff like "my dad can beat up your dad any time", sounding dead serious, which is equally hilarious, almost cute. Same phenomena but via proxy. 

People who easily turn towards violence as a solution create neural pathways that more easily default toward violent behavior when under pressure or threat.

Speaking of primitive responses, do some women like it when two men fight over them, finding that elevating their own status through affirmation of being valuable?

Edited August 1, 2021 by Eph75

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

@Preety_India

Primitive behavior, essential cock fighting, the stronger party winning the favor of some female.

Yep..although they pretend to be highly developed like social gatekeeper or something.

 

3 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

Establishing hierarchy, power and status inbetween men. Can be done in other more peaceful ways that are strength-based, such as arm-wrestling or "playful" fighting or wrestling, comparing strength. 

I still find all sorts of competition between men as a form of chimpery. Although it can be backed by evolutionary theory of mating. 

Still, chimpery is chimpery. 

3 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

More often occurring with younger, immature men, probably correlating with high levels of testosterone and insecurities. 

Yep testosterone is definitely a big culprit. 

 

 

 

3 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

Used verbally about third party as desire to maintain sense of own status towards others, but without any need for confrontation, often as you say, directed towards someone perceived violating moral values. 

Yea. They actually don't do the real thing.i mean they will back off like hyenas when a real situation arises. Haha.

 

3 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

An interesting personal observation is that when I go the the pub I often get looks from other men as if they want to kill me.

Hahahaha.. My ex boyfriend was into boxing , a boxing champion in school and he used to do that in pubs. Just giving that look that he is going to kill someone. I used to chill him down..

3 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

 

 

Men that I've never seen before nor interacted with in any way, shape or form. Seemingly completely random. I find that hilarious as I am very peaceful and friendly. I'm fairly certain this is because of my appearance and being 193 cm tall, causing some immature men to feel a need to maintain their own perceived hierarchy and status, essentially addressing insecurities in self arising. 

 

3 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

As I child, probably somewhere around 6 years of age, I've had few other boys tell me say stuff like "my dad can beat up your dad any time", sounding dead serious, which is equally hilarious, almost cute. Same phenomena but via proxy. 

Yep.. it's all about narcissism and insecurities.

 

3 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

People who easily turn towards violence as a solution create neural pathways that more easily default toward violent behavior when under pressure or threat.

Yep. So true..

 

3 minutes ago, Eph75 said:

Speaking of primitive responses, do some women like it when two men fight over them, finding that elevating their own status through affirmation of being valuable?

I personally don't like it. If two men were fighting for my attention, I would drop them both, because they're both immature and insecure in my eyes.. plus I find it cheap and shallow when a woman enjoys that.

 

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, modmyth said:

I admit that I have a strong penchant for men who have that violently protective streak. Probably it's less the case now, generally I think I would have been more balanced and less preoccupied with the issue of safety under different circumstances. Protective being the key word though. (That's not what you were referring to, was it?)

A huge part of it is that my own father doesn't really have a protective bone in his body, so I tended to attract and feel the safest with the exact extreme opposite in many cases.

I also tended to attract and feel the safest around men who no other men want to pick a fight with either. I also have appreciated knowing that if someone tries to assault or disrespect me (especially in front of him), then that's NOT ok. Likewise, if someone breaks into our house, I'm not going to have to fend for myself lol. Some men just avoid conflict when push truly comes to shove, or they're just not... so physically capable.

I've not been so offput by the anger; it's not like I really got most of the possibly negatives of it anyway directed toward me. But fighting over dumb shit?

In my relationships, my partners mellowed out a lot (apparently because of me, according to them). Age also does that too (hopefully, anyway). It's that dampening and mellowing out of testosterone, or at least learning how to handle it better.

I definitely had you in mind when I made this post. Good grief if you got the hint lol.

 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, eaaaeaeae said:

so why men love fighting. Here are some things I came up with:  mytriarchy, sexism against men, abused in the past, psychological problems that turn to aggresion cause that's how men are wired while women would just sick support or feel defeated by life (or become feminazis), adrenaline, low consciousness, anger with things in life that have to be released in some innocent person if not to the right people, fear, sexual attraction that happen only if they prove themselves to women and only another man that is going to win in a fight will give him the proof to women that he is valuable masculine guy (if the opponent is strong or equal), women that play men and make them fight (And not punished if it becomes fatal , cause mytriarchy punish only men for being good people) , imitation of violence that is everywhere in movies and stuff, repression of freedom by tyrrant society/system that has to be released... and the list go on and on forever.

Fair enough. You're providing all these justifications for why (some) men act in such ways 

However the fact remains that they're dangerous to women and when women come across men  with such tendencies, women should walk away.

 

[hamedsf]

it's natural. it's in our biology. in our hormones to be so. although there are some exceptions in our modern mumbo jumbo world.

it's like sayin' that why lions  aren't chirping. 

[Spiral]

Men prefer physical aggression and women mental aggression. If you don’t get an outlet for aggression you’ll get in trouble. 
 

This is simplified. You can read Freud for more in-depth information.

[Roy]

We live in a physical world where physical force is quite tangible and useful.

[Preety_India]

4 hours ago, Spiral said:

Men prefer physical aggression and women mental aggression. If you don’t get an outlet for aggression you’ll get in trouble. 
 

This is simplified. You can read Freud for more in-depth information.

This isn't true at all. Aggression in any form is dangerous. There are women who get violent and there are men who can be emotionally abusive. 

However people, especially men(generally women don't make those threats, yet the gender doesn't matter), when they make such empty threats in the context of a relationship, it's a sign of violent behavior and controlling behavior and it shouldn't be normalized at all and it's a huge red flag that women need to watch out for. 

 

[Preety_India]

On 02/08/2021 at 7:01 AM, eaaaeaeae said:

@Preety_IndiaOf course they should. All I am just saying is that women should do what's best for them. Men also the same.

If you find a guy that does everything for you and you like him stay with me. But it is the case that maybe in his heart he is sacrifising himself for his women and that's wrong for himself. In that way more authentic men that look for themselves a lot get a lot of rejection cause to women that are selfish as f, they seem like these guys are the one that are the a**holes, while they just love themselves without insulting others like women do. A man won't say ''ah she needs everything for me so she is a sl**t'', they consider it normal in the culture for a woman to ask everything. But when men ask everything or have standars is bad.

The same way a woman that gives sex a lot more than ''normal'' women supposedely do. If she does this to her expend that's just bad. But if men act like women they are going to say ''see that's a real woman, why to have relationships with other women that don't offer me that much''. And then good women are going to feel triggered that they can't find a man just cause they have their own life which sometimes goes against a man to be treated like a king (which he shouldn't be treated like a king in expense of a confused woman, nor a woman should be treated like a quenen in expense of confused man). So it will be more difficult with such nubmers these things to happen. 

So when you say he is violent I don't want to be with him , it's very good choice, but if you say he also doesn't spend time with me, he has a lot of friends, he takes cares to much of himself and not me, in other words he values himself more than his woman or equally (which is the right thing to do if this world was honest and not biased towards women) then you are going only to find guys that are simps and give everything to you. Which will make men with life more difficult to find a woman. That's all ok the problem is that this can happen also the other way around. Men will go with simp women and those that have life will be single, that will hurt those women that have high standars and can't find a man cause some other women are prefered since they treat their men better in expense of their own happiness. 

If you don't like violence when your man does (ok violence is definitely a good thing to avoid so I will make another example), if you don't like that he stays out at night, or he likes safe violence which is only at sports, or that he drinks beers a lot, whatever, this are going to make you have less options. Which may be the right thing, I am just saying that it can happen. I guess there won't be a problem if I reject women that have awseome lives but aren't willing to sacrifise their own happiness for me (I wouldn't like this situation but it seems women like it when it's the other way around. Disgusting) 

You're simply rambling some anti-woman nonsense. What's the logic of your post and how is it relevant to the topic. Can you stay on point? You say in those bold lines, that I should not prefer violent men and that it's a good thing yet you twist it and say if I don't like men staying out at night, tell me when was such a situation mentioned in the original post? 

Don't use my thread as your dump  to take out your frustrations and biases. You have some biases against women, cool, this thread wasn't for that. I'm talking about how violent threats are a red flag even if they are masked as Heroism. And please spare me your ramble. 

 

 

[Spiral]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

This isn't true at all. Aggression in any form is dangerous. There are women who get violent and there are men who can be emotionally abusive. 

However people, especially men(generally women don't make those threats, yet the gender doesn't matter), when they make such empty threats in the context of a relationship, it's a sign of violent behavior and controlling behavior and it shouldn't be normalized at all and it's a huge red flag that women need to watch out for. 

 

I’m generalizing and I disagree with you. Boxing or martial arts isn’t a dangerous aspect of society. Neither is gossip or those celebrity magazines. 
 

These are some of the healthy-ish forms to aggression. 

Edited August 8, 2021 by Spiral

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, Spiral said:

I’m generalizing and I disagree with you. Boxing or martial arts isn’t a dangerous aspect of society. Neither is gossip or those celebrity magazines. 
 

These are some of the healthy-ish forms to aggression. 

I wouldn't call it aggression. I'd call it sports. However violent behavior is far away from this. 

We're talking about apples and oranges here. 

 

[IAmReallyImportant]

For survival reasons we had to be more violent.

And of course if you win, it gives you this great feeling of power. It lets you feel your masculinity more intensively and how you dominate others : D Even though, without it this is still there, with violent acts it gets magnified.

Edited August 8, 2021 by IAmReallyImportant

[Preety_India]

@Marcel glad it helps