I am done, can’t go further.

[Nahm]

When you say nothing will help, you make it so. 

When you say there are ways which will help, you make it so. 

 

“If you are breathing - you’re fine.”

Matt Kahn

[Nemo28]

6 minutes ago, Nahm said:

When you say nothing will help, you make it so. 

When you say there are ways which will help, you make it so. 

When you're really aware its hard to bullshit yourself..

[PepperBlossoms]

i am having the same problem.

dad says to me to stop being so negative and be positive and look for what to be thankful for.

i blow up people's phones about how unhappy I am and yet everyone gives advice and I don't listen to anyone's advice

its like being a parasite that doesn't want to stop being a parasite and knows its a parasite but also sees that everything dies anyway

its like thank goodness that we don't have the memory of living forever - so even if life feels horrible, it is a temporary horrible and a game of just waiting it out with the assumed years left to live - but even that - life is such a struggle and so many hoops to jump through just to be alive -

but there is a small amount of sadness in the temporariness of our personal experience - but also a relief

I guess changing from - my life is super awesome to my life is horrible to - I hope I can at least have a mediocre life... it is upsetting to aim for mediocre when you used to imagine that it could be super awesome (but maybe that is a step up from my life is horrible)

Edited August 14, 2021 by PepperBlossoms

[billytblack]

I was in the same position 2 years ago. This sucks and it is the worst. I was sure I was having a Kundalini awakening. I was spending my days sleeping or going to the hospital as it was the only place where I somewhat felt safe to not do anything crazy. I loved life, but I was completely lost in my mind. I can say it now, but back then I had no idea. I thought I had brain cancer, then that I was becoming enlightened, etc. I also hated when people were positive.. saying to see a therapist, "fuck that shit". This feeling was following me everywhere I go.. and even in my sleep, the only place where I was 'fine'.

I finally turned myself in for suicide at the hospital..

Anyway, here's what happened after and hopefully that may open up a new possibility

-I learned about a process called 'releasing'. It was created by Lester Levenson, then taught by The Sedona Method. I personally learned it from the guys at 'Fearlessman'.
-I suffered, suffered, went into long periods of complete madness. I would have to reach so deep just to find a tiny bit of hope. I read Eckhart tolle books, listen to mooji,  kept releasing, and started feeling 0.01% better each day. And thats the shit about suffering; it has to happen so you wake up from the illusion. All your suffering, even if it seems real, is just a bunch of 'stories/pattern' in your subconscious. YOU CAN CHANGE THAT!!! Trust me, you are NOT those feelings/thoughts
-That's when I went back to the root of Labelling meditation to over and over and over and over detach myself from the 'pain'.
-Then 'releasing' started to work even more, improving 1% each day.

The only thing I can tell you is, dont give up, keep trying stuff until something works (even if just a tiny bit), then keep searching, keep looking. If you can, surround yourself with friends. Get coaching, find people who will help you; they are out there!