How to use fun banter through text?

[StarStruck]

Finally I reached a state where I can get multiple phone numbers in a week with minimal to medium effort. 

Since that "thing" happened and I started integrating my bad side, having casual laid back conversation and getting numbers is so easy. I also failed back my logic and started being more emotional and it is working great. 

Every week I get 3-4 solid closes with numbers and I text with multiple girls at once. It feels great to have choices but what is the point of this abundance if I can't get a first date? Last week 3 numbers flaked and 1 number is a maybe next week. And those maybes usually turn into a no out of my experience.

This week I got another 4 numbers and 1 girl wants to meet up and the other 2 are maybes. Most girls don't tell me straight up why they don't want to meet up. They usually use these excuses:

• I'm busy this week/weekend
• I don't know you good enough 
• I'm going to my parents
• I'm not looking for boyfriend right now (so why did you give your number?lol)
• I don't know you enough

Probably the last one is most authentic. They just don't know me enough but then I'm thinking.  If you don't meet me for a first date it is not weird you don't get to know me. Probably my text game just sucks? I'm really bad at it and I already read couple of threads about this topic but it simply doesn't work. 

What I already tried

• Push for instant dates but I only pulled it off once. Most girls don't want it. 
• Experimented with minimalistic text game or the opposite. 
• Not be pushy, but if I'm not pushy they postpone it to next week and cancel anyway 
• Being pushy for a date, this works if the girl is clearly interested 

The advice I got on this forum was to keep text game minimalistic and go straight for setting up a Daye. It is not working. I think I'm fucking up because I'm going for date too quick. I'm trying to do some fun banter for some while before asking out but it is not really working. 

 

[Olivia24]

First, congrats  on getting all those  numbers. A girl doesnt  just  give  up her  number to anyone. I  know  if  i gave you  my number  i would be wanting you to get  in touch. Be  direct and  just  ask to have a date. Nothing formal. One time  a  guy asked me to go to a  petting  zoo. I  had  lots  of  fun.

[Flowerfaeiry]

I think that's normal. I've agreed to dates with men only to text them later and cancel. 

Things that would make me cancel: #1 they're boring or weird. #2 they're ugly. 

[Leo Gura]

@StarStruck You can't build attraction or rapport via text.

You are failing to do that face to face.

Improve the quality of your conversation. Emotional spiking. Humor. Be interesting and unique.

Numbers are worth nearly nothing without solid face to face game.

[Danioover9000]

@StarStruck

8 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Finally I reached a state where I can get multiple phone numbers in a week with minimal to medium effort. 

Since that "thing" happened and I started integrating my bad side, having casual laid back conversation and getting numbers is so easy. I also failed back my logic and started being more emotional and it is working great. 

Every week I get 3-4 solid closes with numbers and I text with multiple girls at once. It feels great to have choices but what is the point of this abundance if I can't get a first date? Last week 3 numbers flaked and 1 number is a maybe next week. And those maybes usually turn into a no out of my experience.

This week I got another 4 numbers and 1 girl wants to meet up and the other 2 are maybes. Most girls don't tell me straight up why they don't want to meet up. They usually use these excuses:

• I'm busy this week/weekend
• I don't know you good enough 
• I'm going to my parents
• I'm not looking for boyfriend right now (so why did you give your number?lol)
• I don't know you enough

Probably the last one is most authentic. They just don't know me enough but then I'm thinking.  If you don't meet me for a first date it is not weird you don't get to know me. Probably my text game just sucks? I'm really bad at it and I already read couple of threads about this topic but it simply doesn't work. 

What I already tried

• Push for instant dates but I only pulled it off once. Most girls don't want it. 
• Experimented with minimalistic text game or the opposite. 
• Not be pushy, but if I'm not pushy they postpone it to next week and cancel anyway 
• Being pushy for a date, this works if the girl is clearly interested 

The advice I got on this forum was to keep text game minimalistic and go straight for setting up a Daye. It is not working. I think I'm fucking up because I'm going for date too quick. I'm trying to do some fun banter for some while before asking out but it is not really working. 

 

   Could you tell me,in detail, how your cold approaches go? Or how you socialize with women?

[Roy]

@StarStruck Most girls won't want to go on dates if they know literally next to nothing about you. Subconsciously safety is always in the back of their mind, as it should be. Give them some time to vet you.

You want to ask for a date somewhat quickly yes, but don't just crack a joke or two and then say hey let's meet!

Treat them like human beings and show some interest. Ask what they do for a living, hobbies, where they came from etc. and share a bit about yourself so they know you aren't a psychopath lol.

It's a fine balance. You are talking to a LOT of women though and getting a shitload of practice, so you'll figure it out

[StarStruck]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@StarStruck You can't build attraction or rapport via text.

You are failing to do that face to face.

Improve the quality of your conversation. Emotional spiking. Humor. Be interesting and unique.

Numbers are worth nearly nothing without solid face to face game.

So after getting a number how do you proceed? Just say hi what's up and then immediate set up a date?

12 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

I think that's normal. I've agreed to dates with men only to text them later and cancel. 

Things that would make me cancel: #1 they're boring or weird. #2 they're ugly. 

That is what I thought. If I was better looking my life would have been easier. 

I have already developed some confidence and I have a good vibe. A man can only do so much. 

6 hours ago, Roy said:

@StarStruck Most girls won't want to go on dates if they know literally next to nothing about you. Subconsciously safety is always in the back of their mind, as it should be. Give them some time to vet you.

You want to ask for a date somewhat quickly yes, but don't just crack a joke or two and then say hey let's meet!

Treat them like human beings and show some interest. Ask what they do for a living, hobbies, where they came from etc. and share a bit about yourself so they know you aren't a psychopath lol.

It's a fine balance. You are talking to a LOT of women though and getting a shitload of practice, so you'll figure it out

That is what I'm trying to do. Most of the time I already know a lot of their lives before getting digits. I still ask couple of questions but they just respond very slowly and it is hard to establish a back and forth. They either ghost me after couple of text or it becomes like an interview. I tried to not make it an interview but the ball isn't just rolling. It has to come from both sides. 

[Leo Gura]

4 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

So after getting a number how do you proceed? Just say hi what's up and then immediate set up a date?

No

A bit of playfulness, cuteness, humor.

Then date.

[Preety_India]

12 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

No

A bit of playfulness, cuteness, humor.

Then date.

And a bit of genuineness.

 

[StarStruck]

I'm very bad at playfulness through text. My brain just freezes. 

My psyche is looking for a formula to be playful and funny but the point of playfulness is letting go of formulas and formalities. 

Usually I'm a very formal person. I know I shouldn't look for quick fixes and it is so difficult. 

 

Edited August 1, 2021 by StarStruck

[Preety_India]

@StarStruck  my God, can you loosen yourself just an inch ?

You act so stiff like everything is a rule to you 

Girls hate that. You need to funny and playful and very impromptu. 

You should be very quick and easy to get along

If you make things strict, the girl will get bored

 

 

[Leo Gura]

11 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Usually I'm a very formal person.

That will kill your results with women.

No sexy for you until you learn to dislodge the stick from your ass.

I have a video which tells you how to fix this: How To Be Funny

[Preety_India]

@Leo Gura  tell @StarStruck to take it easy and be chill around girls. He doesn't understand what women feel comfortable with.

You should tell him to let it loose and be light hearted around women..it's not about sexiness, more like being strict stresses a woman too much.

 

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

That will kill your results with women.

No sexy for you until you learn to dislodge the stick from your ass.

I have a video which tells you how to fix this: How To Be Funny

I know guys that are good with girls even though they are formal and reserved. Usually these people are very confident, grounded, assertive and give 0 shits. Ruthless warrior type of vibes, not playful rascals.

I think there are different ways to getting laid and being playful and fun is just 1 of them instead of being THE ONE.

However i find being playful more enjoyable than being a cold assertive dick regarding getting girls.

Edited August 1, 2021 by Karmadhi

[Leo Gura]

Sure, there is not one attraction style. But you'd be a fool not to develop your humor and playfulness.

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura You should develop it for your own life satisfaction more than anthying else. Being serious logical mode 24/7 is not healthy and this is coming from a very logical serious person.