I got ghosted I feel sad

[B_HAZ]

I got ghosted because of how I look , after sending my picture everything ended I feel deep grief 

I've tried to work on this limiting belief a lot , it's really crippling and its effecting my quality of life on all aspects not just relationships .. I did everything I could to improve how I look  I can't change how I look its out of my control I feel sad very sad I can't get stuff I want because of something I truly can't control.

I'm not playing victim I'm truly ready to do whatever I could , I have fit body and I take care of myself 

 

How can have a relationship despite being ugly , how can I change this limiting belief about myself and truly not let it effect my life anymore ? stories are welcomed it can help me feel I'm not alone please share if you have one . 

 

Thanks in advance 

Edited July 31, 2021 by B_HAZ
spelling

[Flowerfaeiry]

You take care of yourself, but you don't sound like you have confidence. Also, don't be too hard on yourself. Online it's so much easier to ghost people. Feel the pain and then let it go. There will be others. Work on yourself more. 

[Waken]

Well, in the end what's causing you to feel bad is not how you look or how (you think) others perceive you, but how you think (about yourself). Perhaps because of your belief of being ugly, you are attracting situations that are reflecting that belief back to you. I can imagine that to be a heavy burden, to think of yourself such a way. An important point for you would be to change the way you look at yourself, to think kinder to/over yourself. Find thoughts about yourself that make you feel better, and perhaps than you'll attract people in your life that will reflect that new energy back to you. You could also use the thought that you are not the body, (p.s. you're really not that body lol), so it's actually not even you. That body is just something you're wearing. I just say that because it might give a little relief, but of course the most loving thing you could do is to learn to love yourself just the way you are.

4 hours ago, B_HAZ said:

I feel sad very sad I can't get stuff I want because of something I truly can't control.

Again, I think if you look at what you really want, that you might find that what you really want is not a girlfriend or such, but just to feel good. And that you can control.

Hope that helps a little

[Roy]

As @Waken said above it's simply a lot about how you view yourself. It's not rational to be angry or resentful or anything about something that's out of your control (unless you opt for expensive surgical modifications, but I wouldn't recommend that). The answers to healing your emotions and finding peace around this in your life is grounding yourself in what you CAN control. Why would you focus on anything else ?

- Exercise and physical health are great, keep taking care of that because it spills over generally into how "nice" a body looks (no other way to put that).

- Constant reminders and affirmations to have more positive thoughts about yourself affect your mentality/perspective on it. If you work at it enough through sheer repetition it's entirely possible to "hack" your mind to view things completely different to how you view them now, and not be worried about or reflecting any "feedback" from the world so to say...

Also to note here I think you've just made a strategic error. Online dating is almost utterly reliant on looks and the medium in general doesn't have a lot of "human" elements to it because they are being traded off for convenience. Interactions (and some of the people too) tend to be kind of shallower because physical appearance and whatever you mention on your profile is all the information they have to judge you off of. Ghosting is kind of a social epidemic because of technology right now, so I'd keep reminding yourself not to take it too personally. I get ghosted constantly lol.

I'd recommend switching to a better playing field for you. Meet people in real life so you can truly express who you are. You can display your personality and show your body language which is nearly impossible online.

These are all just Xs and Os though. What you need before doing any of it is to truly BELIEVE that you can attract someone and get the relationship you want. None of the actual work will feel impactful and worth doing if you don't have that belief in place.

Lucky for you, you can cultivate that belief. It's not about either "having" it or not, like it seems on the surface.

[blackchair]

im hot and whole package and get ghosted all the time, its not a big deal hope this helps 

[Esilda]

On 01/08/2021 at 2:52 AM, B_HAZ said:

I got ghosted because of how I look , after sending my picture everything ended I feel deep grief 

I've tried to work on this limiting belief a lot , it's really crippling and its effecting my quality of life on all aspects not just relationships .. I did everything I could to improve how I look  I can't change how I look its out of my control I feel sad very sad I can't get stuff I want because of something I truly can't control.

I'm not playing victim I'm truly ready to do whatever I could , I have fit body and I take care of myself 

 

How can have a relationship despite being ugly , how can I change this limiting belief about myself and truly not let it effect my life anymore ? stories are welcomed it can help me feel I'm not alone please share if you have one . 

 

Thanks in advance 

Wishing you love, warmth, positivity  .

[hamedsf]

don't feel down, man! 

all of men are ghosted at least one time in their life times regardless of their appearance.

AND you should accept the fact that females have more power when it's online because they can ignore or block you at the drop of the hat and that's because women have been receiving hundreds of messages online and it makes them kinda empowered while I can say 98% of those messages are sent by garbage people. 

but in person, they're at least a bit disarmed if you go out to date with her. try out both online and in person.

 

[Alysssa]

This is why you should approach women offline, because they can't judge you only by your look but also by your confidence and personality.

You men have the personality and charisma card no matter how you look or how old you are. We woman don't have that privilege and we would be judged by our look no matter what our personality is. So use your privilege smartly.

[Gregory1]

Ever thought about plastic surgery?

[Nahm]

On 7/31/2021 at 0:52 PM, B_HAZ said:

How can have a relationship despite being ugly , how can I change this limiting belief about myself and truly not let it effect my life anymore ? stories are welcomed it can help me feel I'm not alone please share if you have one . 

 

Attraction is relative. Ugly is self judgment. It feels terrible because it isn’t true. You are more beautiful that you have yet imagined or allowed yourself to be. 

‘I got ghosted’ is a narrative, a self referential story. If you meet someone and there is attraction & chemistry, it is relative, it is experience. Evidenced by, if you meet someone and there is not attraction or chemistry. It is polite not to ‘ghost someone’. It’s arguably kinder to explain a bit. But, if you hold that expectation over someone else, you’re holding a conditional happiness upon yourself. Be fine with ‘getting ghosted’, by not expecting anything of anyone. We’re all much easier to enjoy without your expectations.  Happiness, like beauty, is intrinsic, not the result of what you or anyone thinks, or of an experience. 

Understanding self referential thoughts.

What is a self referential thought. 

Meditation.