5MeO blow up

[taotemu]

LSD opens the doors of perception.
5MeO-DMT blows the house apart.

I am 55 years old and have done magic mushrooms and LSD many times.  I have experienced ego death a few times on high doses of LSD and so I am not new to the psychedelic experience.  I have been lurking on this site for months, reading, watching Leo's videos and learning what I could about 5MeO-DMT before I took it.

I smoked 20mg of 5MeO-DMT freebase.  I used a 300ml flask with a glass straw as I have seen on several YouTube videos.  With the flame against the bottom of the flask, it filled it with a nice milky white smoke. I exhaled deeply and then put the straw to my mouth. I paused for a second and then inhaled deeply, basically clearing all the milky smoke from the flask into my lungs. Almost immediately I started to feel altered with a feeling of rushing energy though out my body. I then laid back and waited a few more seconds as things became unbelievably intense. I felt a powerful rush of energy surging up from my abdomen into my head and encompassing my whole body. It was then I felt a sense of panic come over me, similar to the bodies reaction to not being able to breathe. Yet I was breathing very deep and hard.

A moment later and I was gone. Time and space were gone. The world as I knew it, everything in it and everyone I have ever known... gone. I had been completely and utterly annihilated. How do you describe an experience where there is nothing to ground it or relate it? There was no longer any points of reference. “My” consciousness was gone too.  Without time and space and a sense of “I”, what else is there? How do we relate to or orient within such a state? How do we use words to describe an experience where all frames of reference are obliterated? There was no light, sounds, colors, pain, or sensations of any kind. I was gone. Yet it wasn't like anesthesia as there was “something” still present. It wasn't a complete blackout. Some vague sense of awareness was still present. My wife (my trip sitter) said I kept saying, “Son of a bitch”, and “Fuck” and “Oh my God” as I would cover my eyes and rub them. I also went from laying down on my back to sitting up. And then I placed my face down towards the ground with my butt in the air, like a fetal position with my head down. I don't remember any of this.

The come up was so short and so intense I couldn't orient on anything. The come down however was more gradual. At some point (about 10 minutes) I started to become aware again. I have vague memories of holding my wife's face as I stared at her, trying to remember who and what I was. Time and space slowly started returning to my awareness. It was like I was being born and everything looked new and unfamiliar. My wife said I had a look of terror on my face. I remember more a feeling of complete disorientation. I didn't remember who I was or where I was for a few minutes. It was profoundly disorienting. So many people report feeling a profound sense of bliss and euphoria, blending with God etc. taking 5-MeO. I didn't get that at all. My feelings were more about gratitude that I was coming back and I started to re-orient to my life and my world. After about 20 minutes I was able to look around and recognize my living room and my wife again. I was able to start to talk. Everything looked intense, the world of ego, time and space were all here.

After about 35 minutes, I was mostly back and then I felt a sense of disappointment. I didn't experience God, or anything I would call spiritual. There was no feeling of euphoria or bliss or love. I felt more like I had come very close to actually dying and I was very grateful to be back and for everything in my life. Several minutes later I started to cry. I had the realization that everything in life is precious and is there to be experienced. I became aware as to how much I avoid life and pain. How all of my fears were bullshit and that life was meant to just be lived and experienced. That the pain and suffering were part of it and from a higher perspective, were as beautiful as the joy and the bliss. I felt a profound sense of loving everything exactly the way it is.

I suspect I took too much.  I'm tempted to do it again, but with a much smaller dose.  However, from this one experience I much prefer LSD.  It reliably takes me out of my ego and into unity consciousness.  It just lasts too long and requires a full day to trip and another day to integrate before returning to normal life.  I was thinking 5MeO could do it too but more directly and without the hallucinations and time commitment.  This experience wasn't what I thought it would be.  But I have only done it one time, and frankly my first LSD experience wasn't "spiritual" either.

Any advice for a 5MeO newbie?

Edited July 30, 2021 by taotemu

[Thought Art]

Hmm, start by dipping your toes into the water. It's a little deep.. It's really powerful stuff. Try taking a quarter of what you took.

Also, you are facing your death here. Let yourself go. You will be back. But, you are experiencing your death if you are gonna trip with this. Vaping is like a sledge hammer, even at at quarter of what you took. Experiences vary though. Always ensure you take proper protocol.

Thanks for brining up the memory lapse. They totally happen. People need to be careful.

I think Leo recommends plugging it.

Edited July 31, 2021 by Thought Art

[Zeroguy]

@taotemu That was it. Grats. 

[Breakingthewall]

I had a similar experience the first time I successfully vaped 5meo, it was 17mg. nothing, emptiness, it was not me, nor anyone else, only the limitless emptiness. dead. I came out of the experience with the sensation: well, under the appearance there is a dead, anonymous, silent emptiness. Quite horrible. I am still in the process of accepting that emptiness, embodying it, since that emptiness is also what we are in. Every time I meditate for a long time, more than 2 hours, I have the feeling of reaching the base, to that emptiness, and it is still nothing but the attraction towards it makes me want to take a look at it as often as possible. i Intuit more, like behind the void, if it's possible.  somehow that seemingly dead void is all there is, which is nothing. apart from this I have done many times more 5meo. in low doses there are realizations of beauty, unity, but more than 15 mg, the void. Going back there is not a joke, but there is the key I think. 

Edited July 31, 2021 by Breakingthewall

[Zeroguy]

Emptiness is Infinite Love. 

Leo is expert so ask him. 

It should be really felt as such + complete omnipotence and stuff like that. 

[Breakingthewall]

1 minute ago, Zeroguy said:

Emptiness is Infinite Love. 

Leo is expert so ask him. 

It should be really felt as such + complete omnipotence and stuff like that. 

Yes, i think you are right, but since I was not ready for that, it seemed to me death, nonexistence. because of the enormous attachment to the ego. Such an experience makes you see the need to tune your ego. it is your ego, which somehow is still there in a minimal way, the one that sees in that empty death. emptiness is empty consciousness. Maybe with a longer experience, plugging, it would be different, but it is something that must be done at the time

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, taotemu said:

After about 35 minutes, I was mostly back and then I felt a sense of disappointment. I didn't experience God, or anything I would call spiritual. There was no feeling of euphoria or bliss or love.

You did experience God and Love. It's just too radical for your mind to fathom it because you dove in too deep too fast.

Rather than vaping 5-MeO, plug it instead and you will have a much better time and also deeper insight.

Blasting yourself into Nothingness is not so helpful because you're not actually contemplating the nature of reality as you would do on a more gradual plugged trip.

Lower your doses and contemplate reality.

[Ry4n]

1 hour ago, taotemu said:

I felt more like I had come very close to actually dying and I was very grateful to be back and for everything in my life. Several minutes later I started to cry. I had the realization that everything in life is precious and is there to be experienced. I became aware as to how much I avoid life and pain. How all of my fears were bullshit and that life was meant to just be lived and experienced. That the pain and suffering were part of it and from a higher perspective, were as beautiful as the joy and the bliss. I felt a profound sense of loving everything exactly the way it is.

I felt a very similar sentiment after my changa experience and it was only a low dose but enough to make me realise I was wasting my life and taking everything for granted. I feel like embracing the human experience should be a part of one's spirituality, for there's all the time in the world after death to not be human (but at the same time to ONLY be human would be a shame also, as so much of the beauty of life comes from the spiritual perspective).

And yes LSD unity is spectacular lol. 

Never done 5meo but like all psychs going slow is the best option. 

[Depersonilized]

@taotemu Yes. Be careful with 5-MEO. You can actually die on it from asphyxiation if you don't know what you're doing or take too much.