I suffer because i love to suffer

[AdamR95]

I was doing introspection on my attachments and how it makes me suffer and i discovered something interesting. From my awakenings and contemplation i already knew that all suffering is illusion made by an ego. So i was watching it happening and i tried to let go of it to get rid of suffering and what i discovered was that deep down i actually prefer to suffer. I actually want to suffer more than i want to let go of it. I was conscious that i am the one who is willingly creating the suffering. If i dont want to suffer i would let go of it easily as i do with other attachments that already did let go of. So when i suffer i actually suffer because i love it.

[Matthew85]

@AdamR95 Bingo! Excellent insight! Consciousness or god wants to explore it all. Thank you for sharing! 

[Zeroguy]

There is no suffering.

[Ilan]

14 minutes ago, Matthew85 said:

13 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

There is no suffering.

 

[Zeroguy]

If I am ought to speak 100% correctly. 

[Ilan]

She disagrees though

[Zeroguy]

From God's point of view there is no suffering it's all love.Lets say more Godlike you become there will be no suffering in your life too.

I myself speak as someone who suffered a lot a lot of physical abuse.

[RendHeaven]

@AdamR95 Excellent

[puporing]

Maybe suffering is just a component of love.

[caspex]

I also made a post about this some while back, but people got defensive

[Gesundheit2]

@AdamR95 You stopped the inquiry rather prematurely.

You don't actually love suffering, you just think that you do.

What you really love is the pleasures of life. But those pleasures come at a price, that is the aforementioned suffering. And you would probably be dead if you would avoid it.

So, in a twisted way, and on a subconscious level, you've convinced yourself that you love to suffer, in order to cope with how unpleasant it is. The truth is that, deep down, you don't like it at all.

If you're in doubt about what I said, contemplate this: Would you rather create a world where suffering is impossible or at least minimum? Or a world where there is maximum suffering?

[caspex]

After contemplating what @Gesundheit2said. I see that it's not actually that I love suffering. But that I think it's necessary. 

How do I deeply accept suffering? 

 

edit: but if I deeply accept it, won't it dissolve and disappear? Would that mean suffering is an illusion? Still can't get myself to say that tho because, there's a lot of things that can make me suffer. So what is THAT if not suffering? Nothing?

Edited July 31, 2021 by Swarnim

[RendHeaven]

@Gesundheit2 I can't speak for OP, but there definitely is a higher realization that "I love to suffer," and it has nothing to do with cope, and it transcends all notions of pain and pleasure.

[AdamR95]

4 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

@AdamR95 You stopped the inquiry rather prematurely.

You don't actually love suffering, you just think that you do.

What you really love is the pleasures of life. But those pleasures come at a price, that is the aforementioned suffering. And you would probably be dead if you would avoid it.

So, in a twisted way, and on a subconscious level, you've convinced yourself that you love to suffer, in order to cope with how unpleasant it is. The truth is that, deep down, you don't like it at all.

If you're in doubt about what I said, contemplate this: Would you rather create a world where suffering is impossible or at least minimum? Or a world where there is maximum suffering?

@Gesundheit2 From a position of ego I agree with you, i try to avoid suffering and i would prefer world without it, but if i look deeper within me i see this is a lie which purpose is to keep me interested in a game of life but actually i love it all. Suffering is only possible if i am actively creating it in a present moment and this is the case. If i would be in a great pain i would disagree with it, but that is the ego speaking and it has nothing to do with truth.

2 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

@Gesundheit2 I can't speak for OP, but there definitely is a higher realization that "I love to suffer," and it has nothing to do with cope, and it transcends all notions of pain and pleasure.

@RendHeaven  exactly what i mean

[BipolarGrowth]

That’s what Buddhism is all about. Loving dukkha. 

[Gesundheit2]

2 hours ago, AdamR95 said:

@Gesundheit2 From a position of ego I agree with you, i try to avoid suffering and i would prefer world without it, but if i look deeper within me i see this is a lie which purpose is to keep me interested in a game of life but actually i love it all. Suffering is only possible if i am actively creating it in a present moment and this is the case. If i would be in a great pain i would disagree with it, but that is the ego speaking and it has nothing to do with truth.

And I didn't say otherwise. I said you stopped prematurely.

You seem stuck on this idea that you create your suffering in order to survive, and that since you create it, that must mean that you love it. I'm saying that is not the case.

Just because you create something doesn't mean you love it. You don't create food, and you create shit out of the food. But still, you love the food and hate the shit. I don't care what rationalizations you come up with. You eat food because you love it. And you can't eat shit, because you hate it.

Now, of course you will say that is all ego, untruth, falsehood, relative, and whatnot. But hey, you also create your ego and all that, so why do you not love it?

You see, now you have to choose between your ego and the shit. Which one do you love more?

The problem, though, is that it's also ego that would choose to love the shit, so you're doomed to be wrong either way.

The root of this confusion is the sneaky alternation between the absolute and relative that you fell for unconsciously. At one moment, you're talking about ego love, and then the next moment you shift to God's love and demonize and discard the ego.

I would say this trap is pretty common amongst spiritual people, e.g. Leo, which is why you see them believing that reality is Love.

Of course, I could spend hours and hours trying to explain this to you over and over again, but I'm not sure that would be fruitful. So, I'll stop here, and you tell me whatever you want to tell me. I'll read in silence.

[WelcometoReality]

@Swarnim

7 hours ago, Swarnim said:

After contemplating what @Gesundheit2said. I see that it's not actually that I love suffering. But that I think it's necessary. 

How do I deeply accept suffering? 

 

edit: but if I deeply accept it, won't it dissolve and disappear? Would that mean suffering is an illusion? Still can't get myself to say that tho because, there's a lot of things that can make me suffer. So what is THAT if not suffering? Nothing?

Isn't suffering caused by believing the thoughts that things SHOULD be other than it is? There might be pain but believing the thoughts about the pain creates suffering.

@AdamR95 Is the I that loves to suffer the I or the i?

[Gabith]

 

[Nahm]

“Although I would like our world to change, it helps me to appreciate those nights and those dreams. But, my friend, I'd sacrifice all those nights, if I could make the earth and my dreams the same. The only difference is to let love replace all our hate.”
- Mark Tremonti, Scott Stapp

[AdamR95]

3 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

At one moment, you're talking about ego love, and then the next moment you shift to God's love and demonize and discard the ego.

@Gesundheit2 Where exactly did i demonize the ego?

Both points of view are valid but on a different level. On one level i hate suffering but on a deeper level i love suffering and also i love to hate the suffering. There is no contradiction in what you are saying and what i am saying.