Ladies, don't wait for the man to reach out!!

[Flowerfaeiry]

I used to think that it was always up for the man to hit me up, make plans etc while I sat back and acted all cute. Hahaha that was so wrong. Doing that I was actually being in my masculine!!

I do think however, that initially the man should be the one to ask you out and set up dates. But after the first couple dates, rules of who texts first should go out the window. 

The more I'm cultivating my feminine the more I'm in touch with how I want to reach out, express my feelings, send him little hearts or tell him what a nice time I had etc. Doing this allows my feminine to grow. I can't believe I wasted so much time thinking it was all up to the guy. Explore this a little bit, be in touch with your feelings and your femininity. You might find yourself reaching out in really sweet and sexy ways

[ertopolice]

Good thread!

I struggle a bit with that initiating

I assume they do not initiate because they feel not attracted enough...so in my fear of being rejected i just do not initiate

currently i am in such situation

[flowboy]

Yes, we love that.

It's especially nice if we still get to make the actual plan, but you do all the sweet stuff around it to encourage us

[NoSelfSelf]

Yes finally someone got it... alot of girls have problem with this they act as men should pursue ?...

But when you pursue you repell her because you in your feminine ...

[Flowerfaeiry]

@NoSelfSelf men should pursue. But it's more nuanced than just hitting her up all the time. And a woman being pursued shouldn't just sit back and wait for it to happen...there's a beautiful back and forth that happens when both parties are in their polarizing energies. 

[Flowerfaeiry]

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

Yes, we love that.

It's especially nice if we still get to make the actual plan, but you do all the sweet stuff around it to encourage us

Yay I love to hear this feedback, thank you

[RendHeaven]

Bless you

[Leo Gura]

You get from life what you put into it.

[Snader]

The dominant male pursuing works in pick up and attraction in general, but when the wheels are already rolling and there is connection, intimacy, honesty and trust, then it's exactly that back and forth oscillating synergy between feminine and masculine that makes it work like a smooth engine.

Especially when the aim of the relationship is to grow together

 

[mandyjw]

Yep, defining, communicating and letting go of control of what you want is super important. 

Communicate it like "I'd love it if....." BUT don't manipulate with it, actually feel that way.  Men actually really, really want to make you happy, truly happy, and unless we get in touch with naturally inherently being happy we make that impossible for them. 

I have a friend who is a master at this, she randomly gets impulses to do things and gets SO 100% enthused and excited about them there's no time for attachment to form whatsoever. Zero sense of planning, zero sense of time, zero inhibition. She married someone in the military of course. 

Edited July 30, 2021 by mandyjw

[fopylo]

@Flowerfaeiry

16 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

Doing that I was actually being in my masculine!!

I don't quite understand this, could you explain?

I'm actually busy reading the book "The Way Of The Superior Man". Isn't it more masculine to be the one initiating the plans? A man could be focused on his mission, but when he decides to spend time with his woman then his expression of love and freedom are more powerful and his presence is strengthened, and from that state the man (which is more masculine obviously) should take the lead. Help me understand please

[hyruga]

6 minutes ago, fopylo said:

@Flowerfaeiry

I don't quite understand this, could you explain?

I'm actually busy reading the book "The Way Of The Superior Man". Isn't it more masculine to be the one initiating the plans? A man could be focused on his mission, but when he decides to spend time with his woman then his expression of love and freedom are more powerful and his presence is strengthened, and from that state the man (which is more masculine obviously) should take the lead. Help me understand please

She already stated that in the initial stage, the man must take the lead. After that, the lady can also start to initiate plans.

[Mason Riggle]

There are no hard and fast rules that apply to every situation.  You want a be with a hyper masculine guy who's going to take the lead, do that. If you want to take the lead, and make plans, initiate encounters, etc. with a guy who doesn't mind you taking that role, then do that. 

Do women generally prefer that the guy takes the lead? Seems that way.  But is this ALWAYS the case? Not at all. 

Some women are gay, and don't even like men.  Some women don't want a partner at all. Some women want to have relationships with several men at once.  

[Flowerfaeiry]

@fopylo yea! Because I was sitting still and one of the aspects of the feminine is movement so, while being in stillness, I was being in my masculine. Not a bad thing to do per se, but it was not producing results that were as enjoyable for me as being in motion. 

[MuadDib]

4 hours ago, mandyjw said:

Yep, defining, communicating and letting go of control of what you want is super important. 

Communicate it like "I'd love it if....." BUT don't manipulate with it, actually feel that way.  Men actually really, really want to make you happy, truly happy, and unless we get in touch with naturally inherently being happy we make that impossible for them. 

This!

Most guys just want to please, and no it isn't simping behaviour if done in a non-manipulitive way. It's a genuine masculine quality to be generous/providing. It makes most men feel good and valuable to be able to do something for a woman. And ladies ... when you get something, fucking smile and express happy emotions for god's sake.

I can guarantee that if you go and ask a bunch of men what they find most attractive about a woman, the majority of them will respond with "smile, laugh, happy eyes, giggle and so forth" ... before they start getting into tits/ass/legs/pink bits.

[Gabith]

@flowboy 

Although I have found my "purpose" in life which is to love as much as possible and apply Matt Kahn's advice to get there.

 

There is a part of me that longs to have a quality girlfriend. I already have a hard time finding a girlfriend, I have +- 1 girlfriend per year but it never lasts because toxic relationship and I with my neediness, I put myself with almost the first one that comes along... 

Fortunately I have evolved, I have standards and I'm not attracted to superficial girls anymore, no matter how beautiful they are, I don't want a serious relationship with them if they have no values or nothing in their head. 

Is there a specific book that you have read and applied that has helped you attract women in your life? Or did it come naturally by bringing your vibrations towards love, joy etc...? 
I feel like even if I apply Matt Kahn's advice, within a year I'll probably be a different person but will that make me attractive to women or will I still be single with no way to choose a quality woman? 
 

I wonder if I should suppress the nice guy in me because I have this tendency to want to please or be too nice to the girls I am attracted to.  
I'm lost because I keep seeing conflicting information everywhere and it seems that being nice repels women. 
If I stop being nice or control myself to be less nice, I will be less authentic and less in love so it won't fit my values. But on the other hand I will still be uninteresting to women because they don't like it.

 It's hard to find a path to choose and if I do more than one, I feel like I'll have to choose:

- To be in my "goal" to go towards love, acceptance, gratitude...
- Doing my best to become attractive but having to suppress traits of myself like kindness for example

And if I do both, it will be contradictory with the vibrations I want to reach 

[fopylo]

15 minutes ago, Gabith said:

Although I have found my "purpose" in life which is to love as much as possible

I believe this is the end goal, after you transcend all of your purposes that you discover on your journey. It's the last thing that's left. I believe that to get there you need to keep following your heart. Oh shit, lol. Lmao I just gave myself an insight as well

[Gabith]

@fopylo So I'll follow my heart but this will maybe leads to frustration, desires and inhability to find a good girlfriend ? 

If I just go for love, loving me, loving others, I'll still be a nice guy, in fact I'll be even nicer than I was !!! So I'll be repellent to girls and I will stay stuck 

I don't know if I'm able to face that because I really want a good connexion with a girl, my first girlfriend was the best experience of my life. I can't see myself being alone for the rest of my life or stuck in toxic relationship once a year ... 

[Flowerfaeiry]

6 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Feminine energy is about connexion. Remember the stuff about polarity.

A man pursues just at the beginning, after that, if she has interest in you and wants intimacy with you too, she is the one the needs to start initiating contact, most of the time.

Feminine energy is connected to love, yes. But I think that after the initial first couple dates, it will be an intertwining energy, not so much one person contacting more than the other. 

[flowboy]

37 minutes ago, Gabith said:

Is there a specific book that you have read and applied that has helped you attract women in your life? Or did it come naturally by bringing your vibrations towards love, joy etc...? 

I read all kinds of books, from cringy pickup stuff to good reads like David Deida, and it all helped a little...

But eventually, after going through different therapies, workshops, coachings, psychedelic trips and adventures and just a lot of trial and error, I realised that being attractive is not about adding anything, but about removing. Removing layers of conditioning, removing filters, removing inhibitions, removing unhelpful beliefs, removing manipulations, removing protection mechanisms, removing self-judgment, removing other-judgment, removing lies you tell yourself and others.

If women are not naturally coming to you while all you do is just be yourself, then you've got more stuff to remove.

That's not to say that that is easily done, or that it won't take years, or that you won't need help.

It just is what it is. Simple, but simple doesn't mean easy.

Edited July 30, 2021 by flowboy