Is This Awakening / Enlightenment?

[Joshaps]

About two weeks ago, I had a fundamental realization on an LSD trip.

I was sitting, looking into a mirror, doing some self-inquiry, trying to get a better idea of where "I" was. A mix of looking around through my eyes with and without the mirror. In my mind, going over all the spiritual videos I watched, the Alan watts lectures, the nondual readings, etc. During this I remembered an interview with the comedian Louis C.K. I had watched earlier that day before my trip. 

He was commenting on how people use cell phones to distract themselves from being human because we can't handle it. In particular he gave an example where he was driving, and that existential dread of sadness and loneliness began to set in, and he was inclined to reach for his phone. Instead, he made the consious choice not to, and instead pulled over to cry. After he was overcome with joy, and mentioned how everyone needs that, because it's cutting a huge part of human experience, and instead people play it safe in the middle, not experiencing too much sadness, nor too much joy.

So in an attempt to follow this advice, I began to contemplate how lonely I was. How lonely I would always be. No matter how close I was to anyone, I was always "I", never "We" or "Us", all my life. Just as the sadness began to crept in, remembering back to Alan Watt's lecture "Do you do it, or does it do you", you only ever got "Thou" from "I". 

In an instant I saw the duality in everything, white and black, space and object, background and foreground, etc. You only ever have one with the other. What "I" was, was "It". Everything. Everyone. It all fell into place all at once. The Alan watt lectures, the books, the videos, everything. Funny enough, in a way that only I could, in an attempt to connect with my existential loneliness and feel strong emotions that came with it, I came to this realization and began to laugh.

This wasn't the first time I had come across this idea. With all the spirituality, philosophy, nondual and actualization topics I was studying, the idea was plainly there, and I had a logical/intuitive grasp on it... but never experienced it first hand fundamentally. The reason I didn't rush to this forum and post was because I wanted time to reflect on this outside of my trip and see how I go about life with this realization. I've heard the saying "Before enlightenment, collect water, chop wood. After enlightenment, collect water, chop wood." So I didn't expect too much, and things didn't change in some crazy way for me. Though I admit that now I can 'see myself' in everyone.. and it's greatly increased my ability to empathize and desire the best for those around me.

Now the first the I asked myself, "Is this what everyone's been ranting and raving about? If so, now what?" I got the message, now was it time to hang up the phone? I mulled this question over until I watched the interview Leo had recently with Dr. Martin... and it was uploaded the weekend of my awakening, so I went back and watched it. An important distinction that was made, and I'm greatly appreciative for, was the distinction between "Enlightenment" and "Liberation". Liberation being described as no longer being trapped by the ego. I can confidently say that I still 'fall asleep' constantly. I wake up often and realize I was asleep for an afternoon, on that walk to work, or even days at a time. So instead of feeling like this is the end of the road, I feel like and even greater journey has unfolded for me. To explore and actualize myself, find every bit of my ego, scrub every nook and cranny, so that it can no longer trap me. I feel like if this is awakening, it's only the first step for me. I feel with this realization though, my goal is much more clearer and I can go forward with a greater understanding of what needs to be done and how to get there.

After the interview I bought two of Dr. Martin's books, 'Being Infinite' and 'Being Human'. both should be arriving today and I really look forward to reading them. To finish off this fairly long post, I'm young. I just turned 21 this November so there's still so much ahead of me, even in human terms. Is this it? Is this awakening? If so, what are some of the things I can do to move forward? This can't be the end, it's always been there, it's always been the case. I think before I was simply broadening my horizons, but now is the time for actualization. Also I feel might be an important note, while I've had realizations before, and times on acid where I could no longer 'feel' my physical body, I don't believe I've ever had a genuine nondual experience.

Have you experienced enlightenment? How did your awakening go? What do you do now? Or, even if you haven't, what do you do in your self-actualization and spiritual work? I really appreciate you taking the time to read this.

 

TL;DR: Had a nondual realization on an LSD trip, might be enlightenment but I'm not sure. Have an idea but not too sure on what to do now.

Edited November 25, 2016 by Joshaps

[WelcometoReality]

@Joshaps Explore the wonders of non-duality. The answers will come in time and they will be realized by yourself. No one else can answer them.

[Joshaps]

@WelcometoReality There's an odd comfort in that.

What's it been like for you? A big part of the reason I use mediums like actualized forums is that few people around me have little interest in these subjects so I find myself almost forced to find answers myself because I have no one to bounce ideas off of, haha.

[Bebop]

@Joshaps Yes what you had was an awakening experience, the simple realization that truth only exists in direct experience. Enjoy the journey, its gonna be a long and bumpy road 

Edited November 25, 2016 by Bebop

[WelcometoReality]

@Joshaps I too have only had resources on the internet. No spiritual club IRL. It was never really needed because I always preferred to figure things out for myself. 

[Prabhaker]

On 11/26/2016 at 1:42 AM, Joshaps said:

Had a nondual realization on an LSD trip, might be enlightenment but I'm not sure.

 Even a genius like Aldous Huxley understood that the space he reached through LSD is the same as what Patanjali, in his yoga sutras, calls samadhi; what Gautam Buddha calls nirvana; what is known in Japan as satori. And he wrote a very significant book, HEAVEN AND HELL, in which he described his experiences of taking LSD. He tried to prove that through LSD one can reach, scientifically, to the same great experience of samadhi which yoga tries to reach by old primitive methods – which take years to practice.

If you don’t know the real, naturally you cannot call it hallucinatory. It is so real. Huxley had no experience of meditation. He has really no right to say such a thing. You can say such a thing only when you have experienced both, that it is the same experience as Buddha. You can start thinking that you have achieved what you were seeking, and your hands are empty. You are just dreaming.