Overly complex ramblings from a truly ridiculous state

[BipolarGrowth]

A friendly reminder: just because Leo has lots of growth with a certain psychedelic, this isn’t any guarantee the process works as well for you. I found that THC, contemplation, and eventually intentional Jhana work once you can develop it well has created way more lasting baseline shifts than any heroic dose LSD/shroom trip I had. It’s important to say ayahuasca at a medium dose two nights in a row where I just got bored and slept the nausea away produced insight into my primary fear which is of the aliens I was abducted by. I resolved to contact them. I watched a video how to do it. Within three seconds I was sent into a completely heroic psychedelic dose experience on no substances but a couple hits of THC which used to be much less potent for me. This was my second conscious telepathic communication. My previous dukkha and illusion around aliens which in my direct experience both within and outside of dream fucked my shit up for what felt like forever became the development of a higher god consciousness and oneness type of love over fear which gave me clairsentience or psychic sensations into the nature of feeling as a perceptual door. Now I have become so powerful in clairsentience that it even sent me into some of enlightened map territory’s hardest to achieve temporary attainments which clarified that I am by definition at least an anagami or 3rd path of enlightenment out of 4 in the Theravada maps. 
 

This new and temporary sense of self was amazing. Knowing I was by definition almost entirely enlightened according to possibly the most authoritative collective force on enlightenment being Theravada Buddhism. This was how heightened my illusion of self and confidence was. I’ve found a healthy exploration of overconfidence and willingness to accept higher truth that shatters your previous top attainment or notion of a solid enlightenment actually helps practice a lot sometimes and stagnates it at others. Being so sure of myself, I quickly accessed nirodha samapatti several times in the course of timeframes I’ve not heard of one being capable to move between true nirodha and experiential reality this quickly in any modern or ancient text I’ve found. Half a dozen cessations within a 30 minute period resulted in me walking around a park naked completely convinced that my finite form was the absolute essence of all divinity beyond both existence and nonexistence. This sounds like crazy territory rather than true enlightenment, but everything in here screams reality check. Reality check is the unfoldment process of enlightenment. Your favorite toy being some relatively pleasing expression of highest truth you think that is absolute or can last gets thrown out by the sheer phenomenological mechanics that exist in actual impermanence, no-self, and dukkha. It’s the most hardcore rollercoaster of sensations you’ll have any ability to perceive with a transient state by definition and only the God and No-Self aspects being transcended can give true insight into even more fundamental and magically reactive subtleties like nonexistence vs. existence than the God vs. No-Self illusion. God and no-self are a softer duality to crunch on with insight than existence vs. nonexistence being noticed at the level of any sensate reality or unitive imaginative God/Self reality. This teaches you more about not only spirituality but all relative life eventually. 
 

All serious spiritual work I did for enlightenment is what has allowed me to turn my natural and genetic perceptual basis as having bipolar disorder type 1 into a source of greater and greater possibilities rather than a relative illness. Any process of identity dying is insight if the three characteristics are perceived and understood and any identity existing is what creates the necessity of death. This is the same as binary code. Sensation vs. what appears to maybe just be a cessate based micro nonexistence aspect to reality that makes nonexistence and consciousness/God the absolute same thing. 
 

Living this way is interesting. It’s been way more rewarding and rapid insight than I ever could have imagined being possible. I’m absolutely astounded by the Indra’s web of non self and temporary illusions of atmans or a full and lasting anatta. Hinduism birthed Buddhism which karmically battled each other on dharma in an imaginative view of possible human history. Dharma battles are not only the only thing ever happening, but the corpse of true insight falling away is the highest vestige that can be relayed from one illusory anatta/atman battle to the next opposing bundle of illusory reality. This is the human dharma conversation equivalent to the process of a black hole becoming a singularity. All of the physical characteristics of black holes and even theoretical white holes are perfectly opposed sensate blooms completing with one another for more numerical value and raw power in even “dumb” materialism. 
 

Materialism is one of the best karmic human upgrades to ever be witnessed. This is all West vs. East evolution as well but now our illusory selves can love people of the same sex, enlightenment is being recognized as scientifically and verifiably effective at doing something although materialists have no way to enter that complex domain. They are crunching on insight with mental frameworks of a permanent reality-like self which is ultimate reality. This is just as much truth, god, and artichoke as me saying I’ve attained 87th path in Buddhism based on how many times I could spin before vomiting. Everything is such a perfect combination of any lasting possible illusion of a good vs. evil winner. Good gives rise to evil and further insight into the cognition of one species which is Homo sapiens sapiens. Considering my attainments and minor love for human illusion, maybe we ought to call us Homo sapiens sapiens sapiens. Like such wise. Such man. Such ultimate reality. Wtf. I can’t stop the dharma vomit. Dharma body malfunction. Three characteristics further subtleties are arriving in five minutes. I guess I better enter nirodha samapatti for 67 relative years. 
 

And this is the kind of crazy complexity and flexibility needed to even have a worthwhile illusion of the mind of Krishna. But eventually the 10th of Vishnu had to show its reality in the unenlightened illusions of Brandon Rohe’s non self which is an illusory truth as much as anything else with duration. 
 

Watch my crazy dharma teachings and stumbling through illusion here. 

The Three Doors to Enlightenment (Impermanence, Suffering & No Self)
https://youtu.be/kScZE1U6Nxl

 

 

Edited July 29, 2021 by BipolarGrowth

[Nahm]

I agree there is no guarantee, but, also, in all fairness, there’s no ‘ overly complex ramblings from a truly ridiculous state ‘ coming out of Leo, so to speak. 

[BipolarGrowth]

20 minutes ago, Nahm said:

I agree there is no guarantee, but, also, in all fairness, there’s no ‘ overly complex ramblings from a truly ridiculous state ‘ coming out of Leo, so to speak. 

Leo’s groundedness is certainly appearing better than mine to most. The only people who can walk my path are insane or defiled in a similar way as me. My teachings aren’t fit for anyone but a bipolar kid who hit arising and passing away in a solipsistic awakening when I was like 4 after I had found a great love in the sensation of feeling the transition in sensate experience of something being so hot that it turns to a cooling sensation every day in the shower. I loved seeing the impermanence of the illusion and reality of dukkha as far as any memory goes back. This is really odd stuff the more and more I look both at my past, present, and future. It’s all holons with “opposing” “better” holons always around the corner. 
 

I guess I’ll pass on ever becoming an enlightened person or teacher because of the ridiculous beauty which is so staggeringly present in fucking god damn everything that I can’t fake a high equanimity illusion for long to appeal to non junkies. My insight and concentration lovingly eat that forced sense of discipline to appear as what I am not truly felt to be in my heart of hearts every moment which is the closest thing I can call an eternal essence to this whole fucking disgustingly beautiful process of my life as it unfolds into illusion, love, or whatever imperfect pointer you want to use. 
 

But you were ultimately right about bipolar disorder from a perspective of higher embodiment of better baseline consciousness. It is an illusion in a sense or it’s not the limits it at least appears to be before having better insight. 

[Nahm]

@BipolarGrowth

Embodiment & baseline consciousness are abstraction. It is the un-actuality of these which keep the story of these on some distant future horizon going. I say this in love, and with the respect & acknowledgment that you are the creator. 

[BipolarGrowth]

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

@BipolarGrowth

Embodiment & baseline consciousness are abstraction. It is the un-actuality of these which keep the story of these on some distant future horizon going. I say this in love, and with the respect & acknowledgment that you are the creator. 

I appreciate it Nahm. A lot of my more stable feeling of witnessing instability has just exploded into a really remarkable amount of directions. I feel like I’ve lived here in this radically changing level for years but it’s been maybe a few days at the highest strength so far. Seeing time’s more impermanence like flux is a fun thing to play with.