How to deal with girls wanting favors and treats

[Jacob Morres]

@Preety_India im confused - didn't you say you can pay for all of your bills? 

 

[Preety_India]

@Jacob Morres that doesn't mean that I should..should i pay ? Hmm. What if my man pays ? Then I don't need to pay. I can save my money. I'll let him pay.

 

 

[Zeroguy]

@JosephKnecht By your logic I sjould just hire  prostitute.Since I live in country where man pays for everything well cheaper and more effective option .

[Hulia]

I was once on vacation with my friend and we decided to check if we can have every evening drinks without having to pay for them. It was a challenge for us. And we´ve done it! Last evening on the night train home we told each other: Well this evening doesn´t count, the vacation is over. And then we saw guys passing by our compartment, we exchanged the looks, and this evening we had our drinks too. 

The vacation lasted 10 days. I haven´t had sex with anybody and my friend had sex only with one guy, with whom she would have sex anyways - drinks or no drinks. I think, she would even buy him drinks herself if needed.  The security boss.

[Jacob Morres]

@Preety_India sure but then you said financial insecurity - Totally get that you want him to pay 

 

Edited July 29, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Zeroguy]

10 minutes ago, Hulia said:

I was once on vacation with my friend and we decided to check if we can have every evening drinks without having to pay for them. It was a challenge for us. And we´ve done it! Last evening on the night train home we told each other: Well this evening doesn´t count, the vacation is over. And then we saw guys passing by our compartment, we exchanged the looks, and this evening we had our drinks too. 

The vacation lasted 10 days. I haven´t had sex with anybody and my friend had sex only with one guy, with whom she would have sex anyways - drinks or no drinks. I think, she would even buy him drinks herself if needed.  The security boss.

Based on your stories you never had sex with anyone yet you are mom. Honour to be your 1st 

Edited July 29, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Vzdoh]

@Hulia @Mason Riggle exactly my point! As a pretty girl, u can get nice treatment from lots of guys and when a 50/50 split guy tells me I have to pay on the next date or something, I am like, goodbye ???

All the guys who expect equal treatment are really not aware of the gender imbalance when it comes to dating and really not honest with themselves where they r in terms of competing with other guys. And uf you r so not self aware, why would i date u anyway? 

Guys can get away with paying less or nothing at all if they r handsome and tall or if they r bold enough and the girk thry r after is super insecure. Other cases, with pretty girls who know their value, no chance... 

 

[Byun Sean]

@StarStruck

Set healthy boundaries and be upfront about them. 

You don't owe her anything. If she demands things from you beyond you helping her from the goodness of your heart then that smells of toxicity imo.

 

You can buy her stuff but don't expect anything in return. Women at their worst can be master social manipulators.

[StarStruck]

3 hours ago, flowboy said:

YES.

Because their life is exciting and satisfying to them.

So it provides them with the positive emotions needed to radiate happiness and carefreeness on a date.

See?

That's why I said: interesting and satisfying to you. Girls care whether you love your life. It's your passion they feed off, not theirs.

Good point. I will try it. To be honest I'm not excited about anything in my life although I'm doing all the things I want: I study IT and I work in IT. Nothing else interests me and I wouldn't do anything else; and I'm just a very stoic person.

Let's say if I decided to talk about IT, would she even be excited to hear me talk about that? She probably wouldn't understand anything. I could keep it pretty basic but she is not a type who would be interested in hearing me talk about it. Next time I could try with another girl.

I understand your point. The reason I never talk about my LP to girls is I don't want to come across as a nerd. Most girls have nothing with IT.

Quote

The fact that you even say their jobs and lives are so bad, is probably reflective of the overly negative glasses you see the world through. I bet they wouldn't say that they have nothing going on and they have a dead end job. It's the negativity that is repelling the women.

She makes cupcakes for a living and I heard she got fired from that place. She has no hobbies, no degrees, no interests in life, and all that she talks about is about moving to a better apartment.

Quote

So find a way to radiate positivity, passion and loving your life.

1. Finding more activities to be passionate about, and more/better friends, and life purpose, is one way.
2. Changing your attitude and loving what you already have going on, is another.

You're a hard case so you need a combination of both.

Got it. I think the reason why I'm so stoic is that I'm lonely and depressed but to escape from loneliness I need to stop being depressed. It is a crazy strange loop and it is hard to escape.

3 hours ago, Vzdoh said:

@StarStruck @Eph75 

There! U think girls and guys have equal value and therefore, a girl should pay on dates similar as u pay on dates. If it was correct, guys would have no issues getting sex every day and then yes, it would be practically equal. But so far, there are no brothels with guys in there, i. e. Girls don't need to pay for sex. So if u behave like you guys are equal and she is being hot and in demand by many other guys, finds that she is teated "equally", tell me what's the motivation for her to stay with you? When other guys can take care of her and treat her better? And spoil her more?

If a guy has enough value: good looks, great personality and knows how to dish out good emotions to her he can get away with not paying.

I'm not saying I can't get away with not paying. I can't. That is why I'm paying. But flowboy already explained how guys can play it balsy and let her pay.

I wouldn't want a girl who wants me to pay all the time. After the second date I don't pay to see what kind of girl she is.

3 minutes ago, Vzdoh said:

@Hulia @Mason Riggle exactly my point! As a pretty girl, u can get nice treatment from lots of guys and when a 50/50 split guy tells me I have to pay on the next date or something, I am like, goodbye ???

All the guys who expect equal treatment are really not aware of the gender imbalance when it comes to dating and really not honest with themselves where they r in terms of competing with other guys. And uf you r so not self aware, why would i date u anyway? 

Guys can get away with paying less or nothing at all if they r handsome and tall or if they r bold enough and the girk thry r after is super insecure. Other cases, with pretty girls who know their value, no chance... 

 

Smart guys pay until they are in your pants. After that it is 50/50 otherwise it is a no go.

Edited July 29, 2021 by StarStruck

[Hulia]

Just now, Zeroguy said:

Based on your stories you never had sex with anyone yet you are mom. 

:)))))))) I just sensed you around here and wanted to specify, since you are a conservative serb.

Well look at us.. Did I have sex with you? No. 

[Zeroguy]

Just now, Hulia said:

:)))))))) I just sensed you around here and wanted to specify, since you are a conservative serb.

Well look at us.. Did I have sex with you? No. 

I know you want it, That's enough for fat netflix watching incel. 

[Mason Riggle]

@Vzdoh meh, my S/O makes more money than I do.  When we first started dating I couldn't afford gas money to get to work. She helped me get back on my feet.  I couldn't pay for her dinner if I wanted to.... 

So.. how did that happen? 

[Vzdoh]

@StarStruck @Mason Riggle 

I was dating a guy, who was handsome, emotionally open, fun, great sex - everything was awesome, except on 2nd date he wanted to split the bill. On 3rd date I told him he either behaves like a gentleman or we end there. Everything else was awesome! He said he will try and he did, and I felt attracted and interested for awhile while he tried. Then he stopped trying and it came back to him feeling not loved unconditionally - i. e. he saw basic masculine providing and chivalrous behavior and my need for that to feel feminine in a relationship as my not loving him unconditionally. 

When a grown as adult wants unconditional love from someone without doing anything, for me it means he is still a boy inside and needs mommy to love him unconditionally ???

[Harlen Kelly]

@StarStruck Spend the least amount of money possible before closing, if you decide to spend a significant amount of money on a chick, make sure that she is already invested in the relationship and that you have already nailed her. 

You can spend a bit of money here and there ONLY to facilitate the logistics for the pull, the sooner you nail her the better.

If a chick that you haven't closed yet is too financially demanding, stop contacting her. There are hundreds of millions of beautiful women everywhere, you need to hammer this in your mind. 

There is an excess of women, not a lack thereof. 

Edited July 29, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Vzdoh]

@Mason Riggle you seem to have a pattern with low self esteem girls. I would not even look at you, if u r in a situation where u can't afford gas. Not that u r a bad person. But simply from providing perspective, u have got a lot to achieve first before deserving my attention and potentially being my BF. 

And I am not poor, so I don't date guys who earn less than me. 

[Zeroguy]

@Vzdoh We very well know how you are. Trust me I would never looked at you. 

Thanks for honestly atleast. 

Where is threesome guy, still waiting response but will take coaching. Highers my chances. 

[Mason Riggle]

@Vzdoh good thing I'm not trying to date you.  I don't enjoy spending time with such materialistic people.  You don't know what my situation was at the time, or what other value I might bring to the table.  

[Harlen Kelly]

5 minutes ago, Vzdoh said:

And I am not poor, so I don't date guys who earn less than me. 

You have alluded to this numerous times on the forum. I don't think this information is particularly relevant to anybody here. 

Edited July 29, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Emerald]

9 hours ago, StarStruck said:

So I took this girl for ice cream and she said she also want a hamburger and 5 minutes later she also wanted fries and then something else. 

My intention was just to buy ice cream. I bought her a hamburger out of niceness but then she wanted more and I said no but it kind of killed the mood a little bit. 

How could I handle this situation in the future? I think she sensed I was a nice guy. 

In bars girls ask for drinks too. It is easy to say no but how can I say no and not ruin the mood and still get her. That is what I'm asking. 

I would say to just go along with the demands if it's not too crazy money-wise. Get her the ice cream, the hamburger, the fries, etc.

But then, just don't go out on another date with that woman. It seems like a bit of a red flag to demand something on a first date. 

Either that, or you can go on one more date and see if the demanding behavior repeats itself. 

[The0Self]

6 hours ago, JosephKnecht said:

@flowboy <= this guy has some good advice.

Ignore the advice of all responses from the girls. 

A girl doesn't know what she wants, she only thinks she knows what she wants. 

Even if you give her what she thinks she wants, she won't be happy. Because she does not know what she wants. 

Asking for things is what they call a "shit test" to see how desperate you are. And you smell desperate.  

To get a girl, first, you must not need a girl.  

Sure, but @Vzdoh had good responses from what little I read.

6 hours ago, Vzdoh said:

If we turn the situation around, this girl directly asking for u to buy her stuff and u complying is like a guy directly asking me to have sex with me and I am complying. I would never do that cause I do have self respect and if a guy suggests something like this in person, I will be standing up and leaving immediately without any explanations or blocking the dude if it was online. 

Question is more not about an obnoxious girl, but about why u felt compelled to comply?