Oneness is an illusion - an insight from an Lsd trip

[Demeter]

It is always inspiring to read about Lsd (or similar) experiences. But what is even more useful are the insights that one gains - these admittedly are relevant and targetted for the person and their particular stage of development, but, nonetheless, the insights are worth sharing. I was looking bac  on my brief report of 2 trips and wanted to share the insights I had received.

1) First session - 200 mcg 

The first thing that occurred as I got immersed in the music and let go was that I began to feel the pain in the world and felt that my life too was an expression of it.  It was heart-rending. Previously felt fears emerged - that my life meant nothing and was worthless, and that perhaps there was no conscious being in the universe. I was then shown several things;

-  pain was not as I perceived it. It did not matter - it was part of the universal wave-form. Waves of lines interwove into a continuous movement constantly changing and moving.

- at one point the waveforms changed to harmonics. Each wave pattern represented a sound and the entire universe was a moving and weaving kaleidoscope of sound. Each sound expressed the range, beauty and perfection of all that was present. I heard these sounds and they were the purest, most exquisite pieces of music.

- I saw a grand spirit someone majestic and dark-skinned who said "You are part of us. You are not nothing". There was an immense richness and fullness to his aspect and surroundings which represented a forest or a tribe. I think the music helped create that sense. He raised me up, figuratively speaking, and I was gathered into their richness, so to speak. The sense was one of great perfection.

- this changed into the formless 'us'. The word that comes closest to describe it is 'magnificence'. Again it was communicated - Look at us, we are not 'nothing'. The Us included all -  me, the universe, all life. The waves became fulsome and coloured, including all colours, moving, dipping, interweaving, changing forms. The magnificence was vast. There was an immensity, greatness and resplendence with a solemn calm as it bore witness to the universe and at the same time the universe was in it. 

These insights emerged: 

- to be part of this great "us" was enough - I saw an image of me sitting by the shore of an ocean with the waters gently lapping, sending a few grains of sand in my direction, If those grains of sand was all I could gain in my existence, it was enough

- what is right and good is that which honours the great 'us', respects it and allows it to unfold in its beauty and immensity

- a deity has its uses. It is symbolic of or represents vast amounts of information about the universe.

2) 2nd session about 3 months later - 300mcg

This was harder and more challenging, so to speak. 

It was a muddled session in some respects. Fear of and questions about the great void interspersed with witnessing the beauty of the universe. I sensed or saw the great void. This has been referred to the primal void which underlies all reality. Buddhism refers to this as Sunyata, a state of emptiness. It was so vast that the universe was a mere blip, a giggle, in the great expanse. I could not sense a conscious being - who was there taking note?  The vastness was so immense that nothing we are or do matters in comparison. That may be the case but that raises the question "Who cares what I do or who I am or we are?". Then it dawned on me  - the experience of enlightenment and the beauty one sees are part of the illusion too.

Other insights

So how do we live if the ultimate reality is a void - It is fine to just be and revel in that feeling, to appreciate being alive, or someone who rests (without the cares of the world, anxieties and demands one places on oneself). It is a state which is fully in tune with the beauty theme – a feeling of deep calm and fulsome enjoyment. This seemed to cohere with mindfulness meditation of being in the moment. 

In contrast (this is a way to distinguish between what is right and wrong), anything that prevents us from witnessing and appreciating the beauty of the universe, e.g, hunger, war, desperation for care, is not ok. 

Edited July 29, 2021 by Demeter

[Demeter]

So, the 2nd session seemed to say that underlying the experience of oneness is great emptiness - the void. Our experiences of perfection and beauty may just be a layer of illusion.  Would appreciate anyone's thoughts on this.

[VeganAwake]

37 minutes ago, Demeter said:

So, the 2nd session seemed to say that underlying the experience of oneness is great emptiness - the void. Our experiences of perfection and beauty may just be a layer of illusion.  Would appreciate anyone's thoughts on this.

Yeah that's right. Oneness points to the recognition that the individual experiencer within the body is an illusion. (Adviata)

While sunyata declares even that apparent experience of no separation as ultimately illusory. (Ajata)

If you're interested check out Robert Wolfe's Ajata Sunyata Project:

"The seeming person continues to live out her life (from supposed “birth” to “death”) in a seeming world, in a seeming universe.

Yet, in what could be said to be the true or ultimate reality of emptiness, not anything ever has, or could, happen. From the ultimate standpoint, there is not anything that ever needs to be explained.

Any questions which arise and any answers are within the Dream–and the Dream is not real.

Those who understand this, the sages would say, have awakened from the big Dream. Whether one does or does not, in the end, makes absolutely no difference.

But for those who do awaken, all their questions–within the Dream–are seen to be utterly empty"

- Robert Wolfe

[BipolarGrowth]

Fucking beautiful read man. You had at least what sounds like a solid perception of rather hard formless jhanas, specifically boundless space, boundless consciousness, and nothingness. The sad thing is that all of these amazing, immersive, and seemingly permanent abodes are just fleeting experiences which make an unforgettable imprint on your karma and consciousness. It actually goes much deeper than this, but the best way to reach true samadhi (almost no one describing samadhi match it’s Theravada description of neither perception or lack of perception) was already paved as you have a lot of ability to go sequentially from each formless Jhana to the next. The best way from the Theravada schools to move forward is to cultivate the more amazing and impossible seeming formless Jhana of samadhi (8th Jhana) and nirodha samapatti (9th Jhana of cessation). 
 

Send me a message if you want to talk all things dharma.

 

Here is the best source I’ve found for understanding and cultivating formless Jhana in a practical way that works. https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iii-the-samatha-jhanas/28-the-formless-realms/
 

Edited July 29, 2021 by BipolarGrowth

[BipolarGrowth]

13 hours ago, Demeter said:

Other insights

So how do we live if the ultimate reality is a void - It is fine to just be and revel in that feeling, to appreciate being alive, or someone who rests (without the cares of the world, anxieties and demands one places on oneself). It is a state which is fully in tune with the beauty theme – a feeling of deep calm and fulsome enjoyment. This seemed to cohere with mindfulness meditation of being in the moment. 

In contrast (this is a way to distinguish between what is right and wrong), anything that prevents us from witnessing and appreciating the beauty of the universe, e.g, hunger, war, desperation for care, is not ok. 

A void with a conscious awareness sensation is not a true void. It is boundless consciousness with no noticeable formed aspects giving you illusion that formlessness does not depend on form to exist in any investigable way. Nothingness is more subtle than consciousness. It’s a lack of recognizance of an observer but the fine and hard to catch aspects of nothingness are the only sensate flickers that remain. Boundless consciousness absorption naturally leads to nothingness. You feel to be an awareness within all space which removes the 5th Jhana of boundless space by a gentle recognization or even intuition that something isn’t quite as absolute love fantastic as I wished. 
 

It can be really hard to tell the difference between the essence of boundless consciousness and nothingness. You might have insight into it that just is a specific mixed Jhana type thing which can be much trickier to handle. 

[Inliytened1]

21 hours ago, Demeter said:

 

It was a muddled session in some respects. Fear of and questions about the great void interspersed with witnessing the beauty of the universe. I sensed or saw the great void. This has been referred to the primal void which underlies all reality. Buddhism refers to this as Sunyata, a state of emptiness. It was so vast that the universe was a mere blip, a giggle, in the great expanse. I could not sense a conscious being - who was there taking note?  The vastness was so immense that nothing we are or do matters in comparison. That may be the case but that raises the question "Who cares what I do or who I am or we are?". Then it dawned on me  - the experience of enlightenment and the beauty one sees are part of the illusion too.

Other insights

So how do we live if the ultimate reality is a void -

good insights,, the only thing i'll add is that it seems you only became conscious of one facet of Truth, emptiness or that Truth is nothing.   Emptiness/Pure Void/Nothingness is identical to Infinite Love/Beauty/Perfection.   it is like a diamond with different facets that are ultimately one.

Emptiness and Love are identical and are Absolute.  Both (it) are (is) nowhere - for it be somewhere would mean there could be someplace it is not, but it is Infinity - which is omnipresent.

[Demeter]

@VeganAwake, @BipolarGrowth thank you!

Good to hear I was traversing known territory.  Before the sessions I set the intention to be taken as far as I could go in terms of understanding :).

@Inliytened1 , logically though, the void to have the quality of love doesn't make sense as then it would not be nothingness. To experience the void and omniscience as one seems contradictory - amazing that you had such an experience.

Edited July 29, 2021 by Demeter

[VeganAwake]

8 hours ago, Demeter said:

@VeganAwake, @BipolarGrowth thank you!

Good to hear I was traversing known territory.  

? your welcome, it was a futile attempt here to describe nothing.

But nothing is known here because nothing is unknowable. ❤

 

[Inliytened1]

8 hours ago, Demeter said:

@VeganAwake, @BipolarGrowth 

@Inliytened1 , logically though, the void to have the quality of love doesn't make sense as then it would not be nothingness. To experience the void and omniscience as one seems contradictory - amazing that you had such an experience.

No you are thinking linearly or logically which is not Infinity.  Infinity transcends logic.

[RendHeaven]

9 hours ago, Demeter said:

Good to hear I was traversing known territory.

Lol

[Nahm]

@Demeter

Beautiful! Thanks for sharing!

[Zeroguy]

7 hours ago, VeganAwake said:

? your welcome, it was a futile attempt here to describe nothing.

But nothing is known here because nothing is unknowable. ❤

 

Nothing is Pure Love. It is knowable because it is the Truth. 

[Zeroguy]

@VeganAwake How many psych trips you ever done and how much hours of meditation you have under your belt. 

Your understanding is identical to that. 

[Javfly33]

2 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

@VeganAwake How many psych trips you ever done and how much hours of meditation you have under your belt. 

Your understanding is identical to that. 

I've done a shit ton of 5-MeO by this point and wasted a lot of time and hope surfing high states of energy / consciousness on LSD (because this world we live in, that energy is useless u need to behave like a a real devil to properly survive)

I still doubt Love. Or at least I find it hard to believe it.

[VeganAwake]

39 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

I've done a shit ton of 5-MeO by this point and wasted a lot of time and hope surfing high states of energy / consciousness on LSD (because this world we live in, that energy is useless u need to behave like a a real devil to properly survive)

I still doubt Love. Or at least I find it hard to believe it.

Nothing is wasted because there isn't a real goal which needs to be attained.

It was fun wasn't it?

Back in my younger days we would go to barter fairs and trade things for LSD mushrooms and weed. We were partying and escaping the so-called confines of reality.

Later it was recognized those confines were never real to begin with.

It was always freedom.