5-MeO-DMT trip report: God is a Single Infinite painting that has no frame

[Brivido]

These are my insights from a trip with 5-MeO-DMT. The dose was 17mg, plugged. 

• Reality is an infinite holon and God is the final holon, the holon which contains every other holon.
• God is a circle drawn without a line.
• Reality is a Single Infinite painting that has no frame. It's impossible to imagine such a painting, but if you carefully look around, you will realize that's what you are always experiencing/being. In your eternal experience of the present moment where can you locate the frame that contains your reality?
• At the moment of physical death, your finite holon will be reabsorbed by the infinite holon.
• Your inner dialogue is God listening to his own voice.
• At this very moment, probably, God is not so conscious because he can't access the infinite consciousness of the entire holon. It's as if a neuron inside your brain would be disconnected from the entirety of your neuronal system: obviously the capacity of understanding of the single neuron will be greatly reduced, compared with the capacity of understanding of a neuron infinitely connected with Universal Mind.
• A neuron which is able to open a connection with Infinite Mind becomes Infinite Mind.
• In the neuron analogy there is a fallacy: a neuron inside the brain can actually die, but what you are is the Life that animates the neuron itself and that flows boundless, inside Infinite Mind.  
• Death is impossible because there is nothing else outside the infinite single holon, life has no opposite.
• God can behave like an idiot through you because, right now, you don't have access to the wisdom of the whole.
• God, as the infinite holon, is constantly aware of each one of your thoughts, your thoughts are his thoughts, which might be very well dumb thoughts.
• Talking telepathically with the infinite holon is bizarre, to say the least. The voice that asks the question is the same voice that answers the question.
• Every distinction in the single holon is purely imaginary. Truth is one, but God can imagine distinctions through his own imagination. If God is all there is, the only chance to interact with itself is by imagining differences inside itself. The reality that you perceive every day is entirely made up of differences that are only inside your mind. If you could stop imagining these differences, reality would be revealed as God. (I still need to understand way more about imagination)

I have done around 15 trips with 5-MeO-DMT at low doses 10/17 mg. I can have amazing insights with this substance and great experiences, but I still don't feel comfortable about increasing the dose and accessing Infinity because, in the past, I have had a terrible LSD trip in which I actually experienced insanity. I have learned my lesson the hard way.

Now, with 5-MeO-DMT the insanity sometimes seems coming up again: I can remember parts ot the LSD trip which I had completely forgotten and that is quite scary, this doesn't happen with mushrooms. I have much more experience and I can kind of surf the wave of insanity, but this is kind of bugging me.

My theory is that in order to access higher states of consciousness I need to work on, let go of, that super intense LSD trip which I was not ready at all to have 3 years ago. With the word "insanity" I mean experiencing aspects of non-duality but these aspects don't seem "positive" at all, like sometimes while tripping the universe/reality seems like a fucking stupid joke made up by a crazy mind, my own mind. This kind of experience is scary as fuck.

Should I keep working with low doses until I finally let go of the fear/experience of insanity and clean my consciousness? Any input about this issue would be appreciated.

[Leo Gura]

Very good! You're finally starting to understand.

But there is much deeper.

Yes, FEAR is the obstacle. Your fear of losing your mind is what prevents you from fully accessing God. And I don't mean that it is safe to do so. You might actually lose your mind. But that is the how this game works. Any fear you have of experiencing any state of consciousness must necessarily hold you back from fully realizing what you are, because you are all possible states of consciousness. So if you fear going insane, then you are resisting insanity. Maybe that's good for your survival on Earth, but it isn't the highest truth.

So the only thing that's necessary for Truth is facing all your deepest fears. But I offer not safety guarantees if you choose to do so. You might kill yourself in the process, and it is this which you're really afraid of. And there is guarantee it won't happen. So now you can appreciate why accessing God is so challenging.

[Grateful Dead]

1 hour ago, Brivido said:

My theory is that in order to access higher states of consciousness I need to work on, let go of, that super intense LSD trip which I was not ready at all to have 3 years ago. With the word "insanity" I mean experiencing aspects of non-duality but these aspects don't seem "positive" at all, like sometimes while tripping the universe/reality seems like a fucking stupid joke made up by a crazy mind, my own mind. This kind of experience is scary as fuck.

Should I keep working with low doses until I finally let go of the fear/experience of insanity and clean my consciousness? Any input about this issue would be appreciated.

You should be very gentle with yourself now.

I was also traumatized by an intense LSD trip once. What really helped me is taking low doses like 50 ug of LSD in nature. I usually trip alone most of the time but it didn't fully resolve until after 2 friends and I took a small dose of LSD and talked about everything.

Also Ketamine and MDMA can be very helpful with integrating difficult trips.

Thanks for sharing your insights ?

[EnRoute]

1 hour ago, Brivido said:

Reality is a Single Infinite painting that has no frame.

That's true in your subjective mind experience. Other than that, it can not (yet) be proved.

It might be true what you're saying, but as long as you can not prove it, we must assume that it is fair to say that "we just don't know how reality came to be and what is it made of."

[Leo Gura]

@EnRoute Banned

Be here to learn, not to spread your dogma.

[Edaryion]

@Leo Gura, I have thought more of you.
Was it not you, who said, that one should consider opinions of another, always, sometimes accept them, perhaps rarely, but always consider.

@EnRoute shared their opinion, which is a completely valid perspective and should not be shunned, let alone incriminated.

 

-----------------
Reality is. You can see it by unlocking certain parts of your mind. The truth is, that it is infinite, timeless, and it simply is.
That is my perspective. I have written it here. I do not believe it just to be banned for this.

 

I have been following your work for many years, and I fear to say, that you have grown hypocritical.
You have forgotten and had fallen into the traps of life you have spoken of.
The ideology of no ideologies, so to say.

I say all of this, as directly as it is, because I do respect you, and hope, that you will consider these words.

[Nahm]

@Brivido

Great insights. Pleasure to read & thanks for sharing. How is your foundation of basics like daily meditation, clean eating, etc? That’d help with the self referential thoughts which ‘hijack’ the revelations in hindsight, creating the ‘rollercoastering’ experience, the ‘that’ world & ‘this’ world aspect. 

[OBEler]

@Brivido what was the reason for this bad trip on lsd? was your dosage too high? set and setting not right?

[Brivido]

1 hour ago, OBEler said:

was your dosage too high?

@OBEler Yes, the dosage was too high. It was 250μg of pure LSD. It was my first serious psychedelic trip and I didn't have enough experience for such a high dose, it felt like being sent to hyperspace into a spaceship and having no clue on how to use the control panel. Probably, the best description of insanity is having the Infinite power of God's imagination and not being able to control it.

At the peak of the experience, I could see the infinite faces of consciousness everywhere, but what freaked me out the most was understanding that there is no difference between reality and imagination and between self and other. I simply wasn't ready for such insights and I ended up into a psychosis that I can only describe as an infinite and eternal "Scream", as in Munch's painting, that was my ego's reaction to the truth of non-duality.

I made the mistake of dosing too high because I didn't research well enough. At that point, I had been studying non-duality for years and I wanted to see what it was all about, I was too reckless and paid a big price.

Moreover, after plenty of other trips with mushrooms, I have discovered that my brain is hyper sensitive to psychedelics, 1mg of mushroom is more than enough to consistently send me into deep non-dual states of consciousness. Those 250μg were more like 500/750μg for my brain.

[Brivido]

3 hours ago, Nahm said:

How is your foundation of basics like daily meditation, clean eating, etc?

@Nahm I practice kriya yoga daily, my diet is good and I have other positive habits in place. I am happy overall, but, to be honest, sometimes my inner dialogue goes hundreds miles per hour. I am consistently thinking about the nature of reality and introspecting, it's just something that seems I can't turn off.

More concentrative meditation could certainly help to calm my mind, thanks for the tip.

[Brivido]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

So the only thing that's necessary for Truth is facing all your deepest fears.

@Leo Gura Thanks for your feedback. For the moment, I will keep tripping at low doses and work on letting go the fear of insanity, when it does come up.

[OBEler]

@Brivido Did you integrate the experience and insights from 250 micro LSD well? I made the same mistake. I really wanted to know. My first time lsd was 210 micro, way too high if you are not prepared (I thought I was). after one week everything was fine again and I felt quite normal, but then  I got mild flashbacks on daily basis after some trigger points (some spiritual texts) and when my life turned bad (family problem). 1 year later I was fine again. Made break of psychedelics in these times and was too afraid to took them.

[SQAAD]

Very Nice report.